


Overdose || SuKai

by boos_pledis



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Anger Management, Angst, Dirty Talk, Dom/sub, Fluff, Healing, Healthy Relationships, Humiliation kink, Hurt, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Kris is in this, Love, M/M, Mental Instability, Minor Injuries, Minor Seulgi/Joohyun if you squint, Minor Sooyoung/Seungwan if you squint, Oppa Kink, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Mentions of Abuse, Past Relationships, Quick Mood Changes, Sequel, Seulgi is one of jun's best friends, Side Relationships - Freeform, Slight Pain Kink, Smut, Tags Are Hard, Therapist!Yeri, Therapy, anger issues, babyboy!Junmyeon, brat!Junmyeon, couples therapy, dominant!Jongin, minor abuse, sukai are getting there, writing smut is tiring but i did it anyway, xiubaek is hereeee, yeoldaehun showed up too
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-10
Updated: 2020-04-14
Packaged: 2020-10-13 20:47:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 44,421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20588843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boos_pledis/pseuds/boos_pledis
Summary: Their love is different. Their love is a sickness, an addiction, and Junmyeon can't help but overdose.~ sequel to What I Wouldn't Do~~can be read as a stand alone if you want~





	1. Teaser

The car is full of silence, it's been like that for the last four hours. Junmyeon can't take it anymore.

"Say something please." It's a forced out murmur, but it finally breaks the silence that had been driving him crazy.

Jongin stares out the window, the night sky beautiful in it's entirety. "What do you want me to say?" he asks, eyes never moving from the window. "What do you want me to say, Junmyeon? Huh? You-you saved me when I was so ready to kill your friends and family!" his voice is filled with irritation.

"I just saved your life and you're getting angry at me?" Junmyeon huffs in annoyance, his brows furrowed in disbelief and confusion.

"Exactly! You _saved_ me! Why!? I'd tried to hurt them, to _kill_ them. Are you so fucking _desperate_ that you resort to dating me?!" He knows Jongin's taking more of a hit at himself than at Junmyeon, but Junmyeon falls silent, feels his heart break and tears well up in his eyes.

Junmyeon tries to blink them away, but they won't go away and he gets annoyed at himself for crying so easily in front of Jongin. He sniffles and wipes at his face quickly, not wanting to let Jongin see him acting so _pathetic_.

"Are you-?" Jongin glances over at him and sighs harshly, placing a hand on his forehead in frustration for a moment before picking it up and looking at Junmyeon again. "Look, Jun, I-I'm sorry. But I genuinely do not understand why you saved me, why you want me after everything I did."

"Be.." Junmyeon has to clear his throat to not sound so pathetic and watery, "Because I love you. And I thought you loved me too. It saved my friends and family and it saved you, I thought it was a good thing."

"Junmyeon, I-I do love you, but shouldn't you be mad? Shouldn't you be angry? Shouldn't you be turning around and taking me to the police station?" Jongin looks at him, his expression showing his confusion.

Junmyeon bites his lip. "I was mad, but once I realized why you were doing all of that, what you felt, I decided that I wanted to help you. And just the fact that your love for me meant that you stopped and came with me let me know that I had a chance to get through to you." He sighs and explains as he changes lanes on the freeway. "I want to help you, Jongin, because I love you and I believe you can get better. I believe in _you_."

Jongin stares at him for a bit. "Okay, I'll do it. I'll do it for you, Jun. I love you."

And despite the bitter tears finishing their last run down his cheeks, Junmyeon smiles and glances at Jongin. "I love you too."

Their love is different. Their love is a sickness, an addiction, and Junmyeon can't help but overdose.


	2. Overdose

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the sequel to What I Wouldn't Do, so reading that will make some of the scenes make more sense, but it's good to be read as a stand alone. Without further ado, enjoy!

Junmyeon tells Seulgi that he's fine for the fifth time that day as he's preparing to go home. He had already been held back two hours by his boss, he didn't need his best friend's pestering for an extended five minutes which he would like to incorporate into his commute home. 

All day she's been harassing him with the same modified question of "Are you okay?" and all day he's been doing his best to reassure her, which he apparently has yet to do. 

"Junnie, come on. You know you can tell me anything. If you're not alright, just tell me." Seulgi is at it again, constantly questioning as her face morphs into concern. 

Junmyeon rolls his eyes. "Seulgi, for the fifty millionth time, I. Am. O. Kay." Junmyeon tells her slowly, assertively. He almost considers spelling it out for her. "Seriously, Gi, I'm okay. Sincerely, honestly, I am okay." 

"Are you sure?" Seulgi continues, grabbing Junmyeon's arm and pulling him back so he's facing her. 

Junmyeon closes his eyes and lets out an irritated sigh. He knows she's only concerned for his well-being and with Junmyeon's past of not sharing his feelings, he truly understands why she's going so overboard with all of this. He composes himself and opens his eyes. "Seulgi. I'm okay. I swear to you, I'm really okay. I'm so okay that I-I'm dating someone new." His cheeks grow overwhelmingly warm with his confession.

Seulgi pauses, freezes almost as if someone took a remote and actually paused her. Slowly, she blinks before looking at Junmyeon. "You what?" 

"I-I'm dating another guy." Junmyeon says to his best friend, unsure which way this was going to go. 

Seulgi rubs her red lips together in thought. "Am I the first to know?" 

"Um..." Junmyeon gulps, his eyes glancing away nervously. "...n-no, not really." 

Her perfectly drawn on eyebrows furrow down as she frowns. "I'm your best friend! Why am I not the first to know? And how long have you been keeping this from me?"

Junmyeon sighs once more. He's too exhausted to be questioned right now. "Look, I have to get home to him, Gi, can we please not-" 

"You LIVE with him?!" Seulgi almost shouts.

"God, Seulgi, it's late. Calm down." Junmyeon glances outside his office window. "I'll explain everything later, but can you please just let me go home? I'm tired." He whines almost petulantly. 

"Fine." Seulgi pouts childishly. "But you must tell me everything tomorrow at lunch. You have to or else I'll be pissed." 

Junmyeon walks up and hugs her. "I will, Seulgi, I promise."

She hugs him back. "Okay. Let me grab my things and I'll walk you down to your car." 

Junmyeon nods as he gathers up the rest of his things and they exit his office back over to her own. She grabs her bag and they walk down to the parking lot where Junmyeon is parked. 

He gets in while Seulgi stands in the way of the open door. "I love you, Junnie babe. Just remember that you always have me, okay?" 

Junmyeon glances up from where he's pushing his key into the ignition and gives her a soft smile. "Love you too, Gi. The same goes for you." He twists the key and is met with unexpected sputters from his car. The smile slips off instantly as he tries the key once, twice more and is only met with the same result: a dead car. 

"Dang it..." Junmyeon rests his forehead against the steering wheel. He couldn't even call a tow truck because his cell phone had died in the middle of the day, which just so happened to be his luck. 

Seulgi sighs, this is the last thing Junmyeon needed after a stressful day of work. "Come on, Jun. I'll drive you home." She nudges him and receives a pout but compliance as well. 

After getting out of his car, Junmyeon follows Seulgi to her car, still frowning and pouting unhappily. "Stop frowning like that Junmyeon, you're creasing your forehead." 

"Only you, Gi. Only you will ever care about me giving myself forehead creases." 

Along the way, Seulgi insisted that Junmyeon just tell her the story then and there since they did have a good thirty minutes before reaching Junmyeon's apartment. So he told her everything. Seulgi already knew about his "secret life", as she liked to call it, as a hacker for a gang so he told her all there is to know, with the minor exception of a few facts about Jongin. Like his past with Jongdae. 

"That's like, the most fucked up love story I've ever heard, but I'm for it. Just tell me one thing: he's hot, right?" She glances over at Junmyeon with pursed lips and squinted eyes. 

"He's not even that. Jongin has god-like looks. He's so, so attractive. It makes me wonder how he wanted someone that looked like me." Junmyeon mumbles the last part, but Seulgi hears and smacks his arm before returning it to its original position on the wheel. 

"You are very handsome, Junmyeon! Don't even think you are the slightest bit ugly." Seulgi warns, her eyes now glaring at the road as she glances over at him every now and then. 

Junmyeon rubs his arm. "Ouch, hands on the wheel." He whines. 

Seulgi rolls her eyes as she turns into his apartment complex and pulls up to the curb. "We're here, Junmyeon." 

Junmyeon collects his belongings that sat at his feet before climbing out of Seulgi's car. "Thanks, Gi. I'll talk to you later." 

"Okay, Jun. Kisses." Seulgi blows him a kiss as he closes her door. "You're beautiful, Junmyeon! A total babe and a total catch! Any guy would be lucky to have you!" She yells through her window as she backs up. 

Junmyeon blushes as he glares at his best friend. Seulgi only laughs and waves, driving away as Junmyeon walks inside and takes the elevator up to his apartment with cheeks as red as a fire truck. 

Junmyeon finds himself appreciating the confines of the elevator. Today at work had been so stressful that it felt nice to be near things that were familiar to him. His apartment complex is quite luxurious and for the price, he knows he’s getting his money's worth. Other people would call his apartment a penthouse, but the interior design fools their eyes and Junmyeon knows it could only really fit two people.

The elevator dings and breaks Junmyeon out of his trance. Junmyeon pulls out his keys as he walks to the door, a sigh of relief escaping and a smile slipping on his lips as he finally gets to his safe space with his boyfriend waiting for him just on the other side of this door. 

He pushes the door open once it's unlocked with a smile already growing on his lips. "Jongin?" Junmyeon calls as he enters the strangely dark living room. Usually, Jongin's on the couch, waiting for Junmyeon to come home while watching a show he happened to flip on. But he wasn't there and Junmyeon wonders if he went to sleep. Jongin went to sleep around ten o'clock habitually, but it wouldn't be unusual for him to go to sleep a bit earlier, it was eight thirty already. 

Junmyeon removes his shoes silently and pads over to the kitchen, looking to see if he could grab a snack since it was too late for him to eat dinner. At least in his eyes. If Minseok or Seulgi were with him, they would've made him eat something on the spot. 

He grabs a bowl and fills it with an assortment of pre-cut fruit, dumps enough to fill him up for the night before heading to their bedroom. Pushing the door open, Junmyeon sets his bag beside his bedside table and places the bowl of fruit on top of it. 

Running a hand through his hair, he turns around, but stops half way when his eyes land on a figure standing in front of the window that overlooks the parking lot. 

"Jongin? Babe, I thought you went to sleep?" Junmyeon furrows his brows in confusion at his boyfriend standing in their dark room. The only light was the moonlight streaming in and outlining Jongin's strong and lean form. 

"I waited." Jongin's voice sounds weird to Junmyeon. "I waited up for you, Junmyeon." 

Something is wrong. Jongin doesn't use Junmyeon's full name, unless he's angry with him. Junmyeon doesn't possibly know what he could've done to upset his boyfriend. 

"Jongin, did I do something wrong? I was going to call you at work, but my phone died." Junmyeon attempts to explain himself, unsure if that's why Jongin is mad. 

"Who was she?" His voice is low, deep, almost scarily calm. 

Junmyeon's taken aback. "Who is-what?" 

Jongin finally turns and stalks over to Junmyeon, his body towering over Junmyeon's smaller figure. "Who was she?" 

"Who-who are you talking about, Jongin?" Junmyeon stutters as he backs up a bit, his hand reaching back to steady himself against his bedside table. "Jongin, you're scaring me. Stop it." Junmyeon responds sternly as Jongin only stalks closer. 

"Don't play dumb with me, Junmyeon." Jongin demands. He slams his hand down on the table, directly on top of Junmyeon's hand and crushes it against the sharp edge. 

Junmyeon's face contorted in pain as his hand is smashed into the edge of the wood. He shoves Jongin's arm away and snatches his hand, holding it close to his chest. "Jongin!" Junmyeon cries incedulously as he nurses his injured fingers. 

"Who were you in the parking lot with Junmyeon?" Jongin's face shows no remorse as he asks Junmyeon once more. 

"That is none of your business." Now Junmyeon was mad. Jongin didn't think Junmyeon would cower so easily, did he? "This is not okay, Jongin, and you know it." 

"Were you cheating on me, Junmyeon?!" Jongin yells, shifting closer as his eyes blaze furiously. 

Junmyeon takes a deep breath in an attempt to calm his racing heart. "No. I was not, and I do not cheat, Jongin. You know that." His voice remains stern, but Junmyeon feels the fear creeping in. 

"Don't you lie to me!" Jongin brings up his hand and swings down as if to slap Junmyeon. Junmyeon is almost caught by surprise, but he realizes the situation quickly and catches Jongin's arm. Using all that he could remember from that self-defense class Minseok gave him, he spins Jongin around and bear-hugs him to his chest. Keeping in mind that Jongin is considerably taller than him, Junmyeon summons all the strength he has until Jongin calms down. 

Junmyeon's hand was throbbing from when Jongin crushed it, but he ignored it for the time being. Resting his head on Jongin's back, Junmyeon's head moves as Jongin's chest heaves heavy breaths in and out. "Jongin, please calm down for me. Please, Jongin. You know I would never cheat on you, you know how much I love you. She was only a friend, she was only dropping me off. My boss held me back a couple hours, my phone died, and my car wouldn't start so I had to catch a ride with her. That's all, Jongin, I promise. That's all that happened." Junmyeon is explaining in his softest voice, hugging Jongin tightly to his chest. 

Slowly - slowly - Jongin calms down and relaxes into Junmyeon's embrace, realizing what he did and how out of control he got. "Jun..." regret holds his tone hostage and Junmyeon knows that he's finally gotten through to Jongin. 

Junmyeon releases his no-longer angry boyfriend and watches as he slumps over and stumbles back till the back of his knees give under the press of the mattress edge. He sits on the bed with fallen features and his head hangs. Junmyeon knows Jongin was in the wrong, but he can't help feeling bad for Jongin. 

"Jun, I-I'm so sorry. I didn't mean-" Junmyeon had to cut him off. 

"I know, Jongin, trust me, I know. But...but the intent was there." Junmyeon has to confront him, if he doesn't, then they'll never deal with the major issue at hand. "It's partially my fault, I said I would help you and we should've talked about it before anything like this happened. I take responsibility for that part, but Jongin, I'm gonna tell you what I've realized." 

Jongin's quiet, his face contorted in an expression of sadness and hurt. Junmyeon feels bad for being so straightforward with it all, but he has to be, it's the only way he'll really be able to deal with it. 

"You have pent up anger that's very, very...hard to control. When you lose your temper, you act on impulse, on first thoughts without rationality." Junmyeon sits down beside Jongin, looking at his boyfriend. "Jongin, I'm going to ask you some questions and I need you to answer them completely, one-hundred percent honest. I'm not judging you, I just need this so I can get a better...analysis. Can you do that for me?"

"Yeah." Jongin answers softly, quietly.

Junmyeon takes a deep breath. "Why do you think it's okay to hit your partner?"

"Because that's how you get them to stay." Jongin replies immediately.

Junmyeon is taken aback by the answer but keeps his composure. "Who taught you that?"

"My dad." Jongin sighs and keeps his eyes down, staring at his lap. "When I was younger, he told me my mother wouldn't stay if he didn't hurt her. She would leave us to go whoring around with other men while he took care of me if he didn't. He told me that's the only way anyone would stay with me. Because that's what people do, try to cheat on you unless you reprimand them." 

"Do you trust me?" Junmyeon asks, unconsciously worrying his bottom lip between his teeth.

"Yes, I do, but...I can't help feeling like, while you're out in the world, you're meeting people that you might find better than me. And that thought usually leads to me thinking that you'll end up leaving me for someone else." Jongin admits, his voice shaky and nervous like a child explaining themselves after getting into trouble.

Junmyeon only asked three questions but they were enough to tell him everything he thought he needed to know. Junmyeon isn't a licensed professional in this area, but he did take a psychology class for two years of his college experience, so he does know enough to at least help him change his ways. And he'll be damned if he didn't help who he thought was the love of his life. 

"Jongin, please look at me." Junmyeon says gently, placing his previously injured hand on top of Jongin's. 

Jongin immediately takes Junmyeon's smaller hand in his own, rubbing the pad of his thumb over the back gingerly. He recognizes the hand as the one he crushed and feels bad for that too. "I'm sorry." He finally looks into Junmyeon's eyes.

Junmyeon doesn't know how to reply, so he doesn't. "So I already mentioned the anger issues, for that we'll just have to find a way to get out all that pent up anger. But what I've also seen is that, your father fucked up your logic. Not everyone cheats in relationships. I feel absolutely no need to leave or cheat on you, Jongin. I don't personally know your mother or father, but chances are your dad saw what he thought he saw when in reality he only gave you a twisted view on relationships. I believe your mother only wanted to get away from him because he hit her. He got jealous and filled his mind with ideas that weren't true. Kind of like how you did with me.

"Now, I think we should have a practice for when you get upset and feel the urge to hit me. I'm pretty good at reading situations so I'll ask if you need some time to yourself, and if you don't think you can control yourself, then you'll say yes and I'll walk out. We're in a relationship, Jongin, we are bound to have a couple fights here and there. But in a relationship, you also have trust. Trust is when you believe I will come back at the end of every day because I can and I want to. Even despite your insecurities, you know that I want and will want you. That I will continually choose you. I want you to know that I do only want you and would never think of cheating. I love you so much, Jongin, I really do. So please, please tell me you're gonna try? For me?" Junmyeon gave him a sheepish smile. 

Jongin tilts his head and glances down at the still slightly red hand he's holding. He brings it up to his lips and closes his eyes as he presses a gentle kiss to the back of it. "Yes, Jun, I'll do it for you." His lips caress the back of Junmyeon's hand as he murmurs into it.

Junmyeon's lips twitch upwards into a smile and he leans forward, pulling his hand from Jongin's so he can embrace his lover. Jongin hugs back and feels a small smile spread on his lips. It's filled with warmth and love, it's tight and sheltered and feels absolutely amazing. 

"I'm sorry, Junmyeon. I'm sorry I hurt you, I'll try my best to be better. Just for you, Myeonnie." Jongin whispers, his tone deeply sincere.

"I know, Jongin, and I forgive you." Junmyeon whispers back, letting himself sag into the comforting hold of his lover. 

.

.

.

Light touches Junmyeon's face and wake him slowly, yet surely. Junmyeon stirs and feels his eyes fluttering as his mind begins to process that something feather light is trailing along the curves of his face. It takes him a minute to realize that it's fingertips, fingertips that are lightly grazing and barely skimming. 

His eyelashes flutter out of the way as his top lid lifts carefully from his lower lid. The light isn't overwhelming, thankfully. It's enough for him to see, but not too much to have him flinching away. 

The first thing Junmyeon sees is Jongin's sculpturesque features, the fuzzy glow surrounds him like an angel coming down from the heavens to bless him with touches. 

"Good morning, baby." Jongin mutters softly, his fingers tucking a loose tendril of hair away from his eyes. 

Junmyeon's lips twitch upward into a smile automatically. "Good morning." He says in reply. Before he could talk himself out of what's been on his mind, he blurts, "You know, I was thinking last night...and I think it might be better if we get you a therapist-"

"No." Jongin dismisses the idea immediately. 

Junmyeon's face falls and his brows furrow. "Why not? Jongin, I'm not a trained professional, and it'd probably be better if you had an expert, especially with your kinds of trauma."

Jongin takes a moment to himself. "Therapists will only piss me off, I don't want to." 

"Jongin, therapists do help a lot, and trust me, I know because I've been in therapy before-" Jongin cuts him off. 

"Were they therapists that were a part of your gang?" He questions with a raised brow. 

"So what if it was?" Junmyeon asks in reply. "What matters is that they helped me and I'm fine. Don't you want the same? Don't you want to change?" 

Jongin avoids eye contact. "Why do I need a therapist when I have you?" 

"Jongin, I already told you, I'm not a professional. I have two years of training from college but I switched to business in junior year. I don't know as much or have as much experience." Junmyeon explains himself for the second time. 

Jongin shakes his head. "No. I only need you." 

Junmyeon huffs and closes his eyes, trying to think of a way to get Jongin to agree. Finally, something pops into mind. "What if we make a deal? We'll try my methods and if they don't work, then we go to a professional. And I said we, meaning I'll go to, I'll go with you. Please, Jongin? I just want what's best for you." Junmyeon opens his eyes and stares at Jongin's beautiful features. 

Jongin hesitates for a moment before gazing into his boyfriend's eyes. "Okay." He whispers gently.

"Thank you." A smile spreads over Junmyeon's lips and he scoots forward, cupping Jongin's cheek and pulling him in for a kiss. 

It's short, but Junmyeon savors the taste of Jongin as it tingles on his lips. He pulls back and looks at the small, yet blissful smile that tugs at Jongin's lips. 

"My baby," Jongin whispers, tilting his head forward and leaning it against Junmyeon's. The urge to giggle giddily like a schoolgirl pulses harshly in Junmyeon's chest, but he manages to suppress it and gives a small breathless laugh instead. 

.

.

.

Junmyeon slips out of his apartment at around one thirty, having convinced Jongin that he's only going to meet up with a friend which he really is doing. He still remembers the flecks of reluctance in his bright eyes and it hurts to know that Jongin has doubts about Junmyeon's devotion to him. It's an endless devotion and loyalty, but Jongin hasn't seen it enough to completely trust in it. 

Junmyeon was a bit bummed that he couldn't use his car to get to the little cafe a little ways away, but he wasn't totally against the idea of walking there. He could use the exercise and maybe the scenery can help to clear his mind a bit. 

The walk takes less than twenty minutes and Junmyeon does feel somewhat refreshed from being able to let his mind wander aimlessly. He steps inside, the warmth contrasting with the slight chill that hummed through the air outside. He takes in his surroundings, his eyes catching on the person he was looking for. 

"Baekhyun!" Junmyeon calls, albeit more quiet so he doesn't disturb the patrons of the cafe. 

Baekhyun looks up from where he was staring at his phone and smiles at his brother-in-law. He sets down his cup of what Junmyeon presumes is hot chocolate, Baekhyun not being that much of a coffee drinker, and stands with wide arms. 

Junmyeon takes the invitation in stride and lets Baekhyun's arms swallow him in a tight embrace. It's familiar, loving and feels so nice. He hasn't seen any of his family members or other friends for a while so it was certainly a treat to get to meet him here. 

"I missed you, Baekhyunnie." Junmyeon rubs his back gently. 

"Same here, Junnie." Baekhyun replies, squeezing him the slightest bit tighter before letting him go so they can sit together. "Oh and by the way, Minseok Hyung is in the bathroom." 

Junmyeon's eyes widen. "You brought Minseok Hyung? I thought I told you specifically to not bring him." 

Baekhyun sighs in exasperation. "Jun, he's your older brother and he misses you a whole lot. Trust me, I threatened to take away his booty privileges if he tries to talk you out of dating Jongin or kidnaps you or threatens his life or tries to kill him or-"

"Okay, okay, I get." He reluctantly adds, "And thanks...I missed you guys a lot too." 

Baekhyun beams and it makes Junmyeon's heart ache at the fact that he can't see him or his brother more often. "The ride up here was definitely kinda rough, but worth it now that we've finally been able to meet up after a bit. Minseok even gave me a treat while I was driving, indulging one of my car fantasies so it actually wasn't too bad. He leaned over while I was at a red light and-" a hand is placed over Baekhyun's mouth and both of them look up to discover the owner is Minseok. 

"No need to give him ideas to take back to Jongin, baby." Minseok spits bitterly, though Junmyeon knows it’s aimed nowhere near him. 

"Hey," comes Baekhyun's muffled response before he moves Minseok’s hand off his mouth, "this is against our agreement. More comments like this and I'll sleep in a different bed than you, Mister."

Minseok scoffs and rolls his eyes. "Like you have the willpower to stay away from me or this dick." He shoves his way into the other side of the booth, Baekhyun scooting over to accommodate. 

"It's okay, Baekhyun, you don't have to sacrifice anything because he's being an ass." Junmyeon sighs out but smiles at him.

"I think I have the right to insult or warn you about Jongin since he did order someone to have me _ shot _ and _ killed _." Minseok emphasizes.

Junmyeon looks down at the table in shame, doesn't know what to say because he's right, like usual, no matter how much of an asshole he is about it. 

He doesn't look up until he hears Baekhyun smack Minseok on the arm, murmuring a soft but assertive "stop it" to his husband after seeing what he did to Junmyeon. 

"Look, Jun, I'm just...concerned for your safety. I really am and I'm sorry for acting this way, but as your Hyung, my first instinct is to protect you. That goes for you and Baekhyun and anyone else close to me." Minseok apologizes and explains himself. 

Junmyeon shakes his head. "He's not hurting me, at all. He's getting better, Hyung. I know you think that I don't know what I'm getting myself into but I do. Just trust me, Minseok Hyung, I can handle it." 

All Minseok does is shrug and Baekhyun steps in. "Enough of the serious talk, let's talk about sex. Have you finally let him-" Baekhyun makes a crude gesture and Junmyeon blushes while glancing around in guilt. 

"Baekhyun!" He hisses at the younger, his eyes wide as the tips of his ears heat up. "N-no, we haven't done anything really. I'm not ready for that." 

"Boo." Baekhyun pouts but smiles the next second. "Well, at least you've got some lip action. Your boyfriend may have tried to kill Minseok, but I can't lie, he's hotter than hell on a summer day." 

Minseok scoffs and stares at Baekhyun incredulously. "Um, babe, I'm right here." 

Baekhyun looks at his husband with a raised eyebrow and looks him over as far as he could see. "Yeah, I know, hun, but this isn't about you." 

"You won't be saying that when we get back in the car." Minseok mutters to himself, scoffing once more at the audacity of Baekhyun's words. 

Junmyeon smiles at Baekhyun's words because he knows he's messing with Minseok but also probably trying to get a rough bought of sex from him after this. He knows Baekhyun as if he were his brother instead of Minseok, mostly because anyone could read him like an open book.

"Thanks, Baek." Junmyeon smiles widely at him, feeling his chest fill with a certain familiarity and love and comfort. 

He wants to cry.

Of course, Junmyeon doesn't regret saving and being with Jongin, he loves Jongin so much. However, that didn't mean it wasn't hard to leave his family members and friends behind. Because of everything that happened, Junmyeon can only see them sometimes, and when he does, he never wants it to end. 

His face falls a bit, but he does his best to catch it and keep up the smile. 

Baekhyun caught it for him. 

Immediately, Baekhyun frowns and gives a sad, kicked puppy like expression. "What's wrong, Jun?"

"I-It's nothing, really, Baek, nothing is wrong. Everything is just...dandy," Junmyeon spits the last word with a sweetly bitter tone, his smile stuck to his face like someone drew it on with a permanent marker. 

Baekhyun sighs. "You're just like your brother." He reaches over and takes Junmyeon's hands that were resting on the table. "Seriously, Junnie, you can tell us. We'll help as best we can." The promise is too genuine, Junmyeon can't refuse. 

So he lies. "It's just been awhile. I really missed you guys." Though if Junmyeon is being technical, it's not a complete lie.

Minseok squints, watches him lie by the skin of his teeth but doesn't comment. Baekhyun probably knew he was lying as well, but even if he does, he decides not to push and instead squeezes his hands lightly. "We missed you too, Junnie. I miss having you over all the time. I had gotten so used to it that the apartment feels emptier without your presence there."

Junmyeon chuckles lightly and feels another real smile slipping onto the corners of his lips. "It was nice while it lasted, but at least I still get to see you now." 

"Love you, Jun." Baekhyun says, his eyes shining bright as his smile beams. 

"I love you guys too." Junmyeon whispers back as his eyes curve into a genuine, soft smile.

.

.

.

"Baby, where did you go?" Jongin asks the moment Junmyeon walks through the door. 

Junmyeon bites his lip and wonders if he should bring it up. It's hard when he's unsure of Jongin's reaction. "Nowhere important." He decides to answer, removing his scarf and coat as the air inside the apartment hugs him warm. 

"Seriously, though, Jun, where did you go?" Jongin turns to look at him from the position on the couch. 

"No where, babe. It's not important." Junmyeon turns and walks to the kitchen. "Did you eat lunch yet? I can make you something if you want?" He yells to him in wonder. 

Junmyeon crouches in the fridge as he waits for an answer, thinking about roasting some meat with a side of kimchi and rice. The silence drags for too long, so he stands and raises his voice to Jongin again. "Babe? Do you want-" 

He cuts himself off with a gasp, Jongin scaring the ever-living daylights out of Junmyeon. Junmyeon jumps with wide eyes and places a hand over his heart, trying to catch his breath. 

"Why won't you tell me, Junmyeon?" Jongin speaks as if Junmyeon wasn't clenching at his heart like the healthiest person in the world getting a sudden heart attack.

"Jesus, Jongin, what the hell?" Junmyeon voices his frustration after finally managing to fill his lungs with air. "You shouldn't just sneak up on me like that, jeez..." He looks at his boyfriend incredulously. 

Junmyeon takes the new period of silence to recognize the way Jongin is acting at the moment. He's absolutely _ fuming _, but not the rampaging kind, the kind where he's eerily calm and silent; the only thing giving him away being the red painting itself over his face. 

"Jongin..." Junmyeon starts, remembering how unpredictable Jongin can be. "...do you need some time to yourself?" 

Instead of opening his mouth, Jongin just nods slowly. There's so much anger he's holding back that his eye is twitching every now and then and a vein in his neck is almost too prominent. Junmyeon steps around him and exits the kitchen, heading to their bedroom to wait for Jongin. 

He sits on the bed and allows himself some time to think over the situation. Jongin’s temper rose quicker than Junmyeon thought possible for anybody. Junmyeon's glad Jongin realized he needs the time by himself and that he should take it so he can calm down. This is improvement and it sticks out to Junmyeon. He really appreciates the effort, he's thankful for it.

Junmyeon pushes a hand through his hair as he sighs in relief. Jongin is going to need a professional, Junmyeon has no idea what he's gotten himself into despite what he told Baekhyun, Minseok, and himself. As Jongin calms down in the kitchen, he's probably only bottling that anger back up which isn't going to help him and will probably backfire in both of their faces. 

Junmyeon thinks hard, tries to think of a way he can get in touch with a real specialist to get Jongin some help. Jongin will most likely resist and get upset at him because of their promise if he tries to take him to see one, but maybe he can explain the situation to the specialist and they can give him some advice as to what to do or practice with Jongin. 

His only problem now is finding someone that is either a psychologist or an anger management specialist, but he doesn't really know anyone like that-

Junmyeon whips out his phone faster than he can really think about it, going to his favorites and calling up someone who might be of great help. It rings and Junmyeon waits for her to answer, knowing the only reasons she wouldn't answer would be if she was dead or having sex with her wife. 

"Hey, Junnie babe, what's up?" Seulgi finally answers after so long. 

"What does Joohyun specialize in?" Junmyeon knows that Seulgi's wife is somewhere in that field so she could hopefully help Junmyeon with his dilemma. 

There's silence for a couple seconds. "Good to know you remember my profession, Junmyeon." Comes Joohyun's monotone voice from the phone. 

Junmyeon lets out a nervous chuckle. "Hey Joohyun." He huffs a bit. "I'm on speaker, aren't I?" He whispers gently. 

"Yeah, sorry, Junnie." Seulgi confesses with a little giggle. 

"Um...so yeah." Junmyeon continues. "Sorry for forgetting, but what do you specialize in, Joohyun?" 

Joohyun takes a moment to think. "It depends, I treat a range of different things. What is it you're looking for specifically?"

"I need some tips on how to manage anger." Junmyeon replies, hoping Joohyun won't ask who needs the anger management tips. 

"Well, looks like your lucky day because I can definitely help with that." Joohyun says. 

Junmyeon smiles wide and secretly pumps his fist in the air. "So um, what's the best way to get rid of bottled up anger?" 

Joohyun hums and ponders on his question once again. "Finding the underlying causes and emotions as well as talking with someone you trust is a way to do it. Also daily exercise can help to blow off any new tension or stress or frustrations. But you must remember that this process is gradual and you must be patient, it all won't go away in a matter of hours or days; especially if you've been holding it in for really long - like consecutive years." 

Quickly, Junmyeon snatches his notebook and pen from the bedside table and scribbles on a blank page in the back just in case he forgets anything that could possibly be vital in helping Jongin get better. "Okay, okay...got it! Anything else?" 

"There's also the possibility that it's depression, seeing as the mental disorder can, unfortunately, take many forms in the human mind. If you're able to, attempt to find signs that you might lash out or whatnot when you do get angry. If you identify them, it'll help to diffuse the situation before anything really bad happens." Joohyun hums thoughtfully before adding, "Oh, and most of the time the underlying emotions underneath anger are common things like sadness and/or deeply rooted insecurities. And try to identify triggers for anger and possibly try changing the mindset as that can make the anger worse." 

"Alright, got it. Thank you so much, Joohyun." Junmyeon thanks her profusely, knowing that at least one of these things had to aid him into getting Jongin on a better path.

"No problem. But, if I can ask, why do you need all this information? You aren't the 'angry' type, unless you've been feeling that way lately, which is totally valid and okay." She asks in a soft voice, or as Seulgi likes to call it, her "therapist voice". 

Junmyeon contemplates how much he should tell her; in the end, allowing her the vague details. "It's for someone I care for. They struggle with anger, but they refuse to see a therapist about it, so I'm the next best thing." 

"Be careful with that, Junmyeon. Don't lose or hurt yourself trying to help this person out, okay?" Joohyun advises strongly. 

"Okay, I won't," or at least he'll try, "I got to go, but thank you so much for the help, I really appreciate it, Joohyun." Junmyeon decides to thank her once more as he really cannot express his gratitude towards his friend. Now, he finally has an idea of how to help Jongin out. 

"No problem, Junmyeon. We're always here for you. Have a good day." With that, the call is hung up, Joohyun not being one for end of the phone call back and forth. 

Junmyeon puts his cell phone down and closes his notebook, shutting it back in its rightful place. He stands and, with caution, makes his way out to Jongin. 

"Jonginnie?" Junmyeon calls out, peeking his head into the living room to find his boyfriend on the couch with his head in his hands. 

Junmyeon takes the risk, he walks over to Jongin and sits down beside him. "Have you calmed down a little?" 

Jongin only nods his head before looking at Junmyeon with red eyes. They were filled with tears, but Jongin refused to let them fall. 

"Jongin, what's wrong?" Junmyeon slides closer and puts a hand on Jongin's back, rubbing soothingly along the firm muscles. 

Jongin shakes his head and lets out a stuttered breath, sniffling a bit then speaking up. "I...in that moment, when you didn't tell me where you were, I just...the thoughts running in my mind, I felt my control slipping and something took over me, and it was dark, it was so, so dark. When you refused to tell me, I...I wanted to hit you, I wanted to raise my hand and hit you. I might've actually done it, if you didn't-you didn't ask me that question." 

There it is. The pain, vulnerability, _ the fear _. Junmyeon could see it clear as day in Jongin's stormy eyes. He wanted to take it away so badly, wished he could take it upon himself so Jongin didn't have to go through it.

"But you didn't." Junmyeon is quick to reassure him. "You didn't, Jongin, and that's improvement. That's a major improvement. You may not see it now, but that was one step closer to change. You did that, babe, all you." Junmyeon's words were rushed and desperate for Jongin to believe him. "Jongin, I am so, so proud of you for fighting whatever it is in your mind. I'm so proud that you realized it was going to happen and told me that you needed some time. Soon enough, you'll be able to just say you need some time and walk away. Simple as that." 

Jongin leans forward and kisses Junmyeon gently, so softly Junmyeon feels his heart breaking. "I never want to hurt you, Jun." Junmyeon embraces him and rubs his back, slipping his fingers into the hair at the back of his neck every so often in a comforting gesture. 

Junmyeon nods against him. "I know, baby, I know." He whispers though it's barely audible. 

.

.

.

It's Monday and Junmyeon's back at work. The day has moved at the pace of a snail, Junmyeon sorting through articles to pass or throw out for the magazine. He's also been busy signing some documents for the arrangements on meetings with the agencies that have the models. It's a typical day at work and there's nothing else Junmyeon wants to do than leave and go home to his boyfriend. 

He sets down all of his papers and smiles as he sees it's lunch time. He plans on going down to the cafe for some chicken pasta when Seulgi stops in front of his office door. She taps quickly on the glass as Junmyeon stands up. "Meeting in the boardroom now." 

"What?" Junmyeon asks, checking the calendar he keeps on his desk to see if it was on his schedule. "But I'm not supposed to have another meeting until Tuesday." 

"I'm not sure, boss man just called one." She shrugs apologetically and nudges her head to the right to tell him to come along. 

Junmyeon suppresses a groan as he puts a pause on his appointment with a delicious lunch. He follows Seulgi out after grabbing his pen and paper which he was sure he would need for an emergency meeting. 

As they're passing through the lobby, Junmyeon hears his name being called from his right. He turns his head and is surprised to see Jongin heading straight for him with a bag of food in his hands. 

Seulgi stops next to Junmyeon as Jongin finally makes it next to them. "I-I was thinking earlier and just thought that I would surprise you with lunch and that maybe we could have lunch together?" 

A small smile etches its way onto Junmyeon's lips as Jongin explains himself with a rather sheepish and shy look on his face. "You're so sweet, Jongin...um, I have to go to a quick emergency meeting, but why don't you wait in my office then I'll be there in a bit and we can eat lunch together, yeah?" Junmyeon didn't really wait for a reply as he starts walking towards the meeting room. 

Then there's a sudden grip on his wrist and Junmyeon feels himself being slightly yanked back. He gasps at the tight grip and looks at Jongin. Out of the corner of his eye, he can see Seulgi's shock and confusion. 

"Jongin." Junmyeon says incredulously. "Let go of me." The grip tightens as Junmyeon stares into his lover's untrusting eyes. 

Junmyeon sighs. "Jongin, I swear, I'll be there as quickly as possible, but you have to let me go." Junmyeon tugs his wrist from Jongin's hand, the grip having loosened. He can see the hurt in Jongin's eyes pushing its way in. Junmyeon steps forward and leans in, kissing Jongin's lips tenderly before breaking apart to whisper,"My office is to the left, I'll be in there soon. Trust me." 

Jongin's eyes are downcast and he nods his head after a couple of seconds. Junmyeon presses another kiss to his cheek and turns away, walking to his meeting with a concerned Seulgi. 

"Jun," she starts when they're just about to enter the meeting room, "is everything okay with you and your boyfriend?" 

Without hesitation, Junmyeon nods. "Yeah, everything is fine, I promise, Gi." He walks inside instead of letting her respond. 

.

.

. 

Before Junmyeon knows it, he's rushing to his office the moment the meeting is let out. It was a minor issue that Junmyeon didn't think needed a whole meeting, but regardless, it's finally over after ten minutes. 

Junmyeon is out of there in time enough to just rush pass Seulgi's awaiting questions. He’ll have to make up an excuse to tell her later. He heads out and goes straight to his office, his eyes trained on the back of Jongin's head as he looks through the glass walls. He should probably put down his curtains for some privacy. 

Entering his office, Junmyeon immediately heads to the side to tug the string that would bring his curtains down. They jump up a bit before dropping and stopping just above the ground. 

Now that he has privacy, he turns to Jongin and gives a small smile. "Hey, babe." 

Jongin's lip twitches up into a half smile. "Hi." 

It's awkward; Junmyeon _ hates _ when it's awkward. He takes a seat beside his boyfriend on the black leather couch facing away from the shaded glass wall. "So, uh, what did you bring for me, Jonginnie?" 

"I brought you some samgyeopsal and kimchi. I know it's your favorite, so I thought you would enjoy it after being at work for so long." Jongin explains, a light blush dusting his cheeks as he rubs the back of his neck shyly. 

Junmyeon's smile widens as he scoots closer. "You're such a sweetheart!" He takes the bag and opens it, taking out his container of food and handing Jongin his own. He practically moans at the mere sight of the delicious food. "This is exactly what I needed, thank you, babe." He grabs a pair of chopsticks and tries a piece of the cooked pork, sighing in pleasure. He takes a bit of kimchi and rice and eats it with the meat, feeling like he was in food heaven. 

Jongin hesitates as he reaches to take a piece of his own meat with his chopsticks before setting them down and staring down at his lap. "I-I'm sorry...about how I acted in the lobby I mean, I-I didn't mean to embarrass you." 

Junmyeon looks at Jongin. "Why, Jongin? I'm not mad or upset at you for it, but I just want to know why you did it."

"I-I don't know." Jongin whispers pathetically, keeping his eyes downcast. 

"You know what I think it is, Jongin?" Junmyeon says as he stares at his boyfriend's shameful posture. "I don't think you trust me." 

Jongin's head snaps up and his eyes widen a bit as he tries to protest. "Of course I-" 

"No you don't, babe." Junmyeon let out a breath. "You may think so, but you don't, Jongin. If you did trust me, you wouldn't get mad at me for going anywhere I want without telling you or for hanging out with anyone that you don't know."

Jongin's eyes are downcast again. "I'm sorry." He whispers weakly. 

"Baby, we can do this, but you need to trust me and remember that I will never cheat on you. I'm not that type of person, really I'm not. I love you. I-I seriously...genuinely believe that you are-are the love of my life. You and I, we have something I've never felt before. And I want it forever." Junmyeon reaches over and grabs Jongin's hands after moving their food to the little coffee table in front of them. "You love me too, right? You feel the same, right?" 

"I do, Jun. I really do." There's hurt in Jongin's eyes, but Junmyeon can see the love peeking out shyly and that's how he knows it's real and true. 

Junmyeon removes his hands from Jongin's and claims Jongin's lips as his, kissing him passionately. He cups his lover's face and closes his eyes to fully indulge in the sweet taste that is Jongin. 

Jongin shifts closer and trails his hands up Junmyeon's chest, hooking them around the back of his neck to tilt his head to make the kiss deeper and pull him closer. 

The kiss itself is slow and makes Junmyeon feel butterflies but also hot under his collar. He feels rather scandalous doing this in his office behind sheer curtains, but it's a thrilling excitement that Junmyeon doesn't mind. If anything, he pushes closer and causes them to tip over. Junmyeon climbs on top of Jongin's lap, his mind completely disregarding everything and everyone. 

Jongin sucks on his bottom lip and nibbles on it, tugging in a teasing way. Junmyeon can't help the girlish and needily embarrassing moan that comes out. His cheeks redden, however, he ignores the embarrassment in favor of tonguing Jongin. 

Junmyeon runs his tongue along the roof of Jongin's mouth, licking over the back of his teeth to get a better taste. He can feel Jongin's tongue doing the same, exploring and uncovering all places he can reach. 

Unfortunately, the need for air forces them to split. Junmyeon pants like a dog, but Jongin seems to retain his composure better, smirking and starting to say, "This is definitely new. Do you like this type of stuff?"

Of course Junmyeon doesn't reply...but he doesn't really need to, seeing as his slightly hard problem twitched in response for him. Jongin's smirk splits wider, "You're so fucking cute, baby." 

Junmyeon shuts him up with another kiss. 

.

.

.

They're on the couch, relaxed, calm, and comfortable in their places as they watch a show together. Well, they _ were _ watching a show, that was until Jongin started kissing and biting at Junmyeon's neck. 

Junmyeon gasps as he's laid down on the couch, Jongin moving his lips up to Junmyeon's lips for a heated kiss. 

They've never done anything like this and Junmyeon would be lying if he said he wasn't excited and somewhat nervous. But the pull is there, the want tethering them together. Junmyeon feels the urges while chills scale up and down the expanse of his arms, a full body shiver moving up and down quickly. 

"You're so hot, Junmyeonnie." Jongin murmurs into his mouth. Junmyeon knows he looks everything but hot. He's in his tattered pajamas that he usually slips into after work, which consists of gray, baggy sweatpants with a faded stain on them, and an old Red Velvet concert shirt that he's had for who knows how long. But he'll believe him in the moment. 

Junmyeon grinds up into Jongin's hips, eliciting a moan from both of them. He hums into his mouth and does it again. "Oh god, you feel so-so big, Jongin." He's gyrating his hips up and up and damn near driving himself crazy. "Jongin, p-please, give me more." 

Jongin doesn't hold back and shoves his hand down Junmyeon's sweatpants, gripping his cock tightly in his fist. He drags it down, it's dry, yet still pleasurable to Junmyeon. A guttural moan is pulled from Junmyeon as Jongin drags his hand up to the base and then back down to the head.

"Jun, I don't wanna hurt you, baby. Do you have lube somewhere?" Jongin whispers to him and Junmyeon takes a second before answering to admire the sincerity and love in his boyfriend's eyes. 

"Yeah, yeah, um, maybe we should take this to the room? It's-it's in my dresser." Junmyeon asks nervously, his eyes glancing away from Jongin's intense gaze. 

Jongin leans down and kisses Junmyeon once again, gently agreeing with him and pulling him up. Junmyeon is taken to the bedroom and promptly pushed up against the door once it's closed. 

Their lips meet for a couple of seconds before Junmyeon pulls back, his anxiety settling in completely for what he's about to tell Jongin. "J-Jongin, can we talk really quickly before this?" 

There's confusion in his lover's eyes but Jongin nods and they move to the bed. "What is it, baby?" Jongin questions, bringing a hand up to Junmyeon's cheek to cradle and caress the skin there. "You know you can tell me anything, right?" 

Junmyeon nods as he feels the air being sucked from his lungs at Jongin's gesture. "I-I just...I needed to tell you that I-I am..." Junmyeon can't seem to force it out, so he closes his eyes and takes a breath. "This is like...majorly embarrassing, especially for someone my age, but I-I'm a virgin." He opens his eyes and can feel the fear presenting itself. 

Jongin stares at him for a bit before raising an eyebrow nonchalantly. "Is...Is that it, baby?" Jongin must see the fear melting into confusion because he chuckles, smiles, and shifts closer. "My Junmyeonnie...there's no age where you're supposed to lose your virginity. If you didn't want to, then you didn't want to. If you don't want to now, you don't have to. If it doesn't feel right, then you're entitled to do whatever does feel right to you in that moment. Regardless of what anyone says. And even though I'm not very good with the trusting part of our relationship, I do know that you're entitled to your body. At least, hopefully I have that part right." 

Junmyeon feels red dusting his cheeks as he glances down, trying to hold back his smile. "Yeah. You definitely have that part right." He presses a soft kiss to Jongin's lips and embraces him tightly. 

The silence carries out for several seconds before Junmyeon speaks again. "I also wanted to tell you that right now, I really want to...to have sex with you. I want you, Jongin." 

Jongin pulls back and smiles. "Then you have me, baby." Instead of the fire fueling their actions like back in the living room, the two allow love and passion to be their motivators. 

The next thing Junmyeon knows, Jongin is hovering over him, Junmyeon's bottoms completely discarded. Jongin is lubing up his fingers in front of him and Junmyeon's not sure what to expect when it comes to feeling something-anything inside him. 

Even though Junmyeon's never done this before, he hates that he's nervous. He wants this to be good, not only for himself, but for Jongin. He deserves this as much as Junmyeon does. 

Once Jongin finishes warming up the lube, he stares Junmyeon dead in the eye and slides his slippery fingers down the crease of his ass cheeks as Junmyeon spreads his legs even further to accommodate. Jongin passes his perineum, emitting a small moan from Junmyeon, and finally stops at his pink puckered hole. Junmyeon gasps and tenses immediately, his fingers clutching the bed sheets. 

"Relax for me, baby. Just relax. I'll make this good for you, I promise. And if you change your mind at any time, just say stop and I'll stop." Junmyeon nods and takes a deep breath, forcing himself to relax his body. "Okay, this might feel a little weird and uncomfortable, but it'll feel really good soon after." 

"I trust you, Jongin." Junmyeon whispers as he stares deeply into Jongin's eyes. 

Jongin's lips lift up and he takes the opportunity to kiss Junmyeon as he inserts the first finger. He does his best to distract Junmyeon as he wiggles the finger and pushes past the tight ring of pink muscle. Jongin pulls back and whispers to him, "Breathe through it, baby, breathe through it." He begins pumping the lubed finger in and out slowly at first to allow Junmyeon time to adjust before working in another one. 

In the meantime, Junmyeon is trying his best to follow Jongin's instructions, believing him when he says that it'll feel better eventually. His eyebrows are furrowed as he grips the sheets in a tight grip, trying his best to take deep breaths. 

Once Jongin works in the second finger, he’s pushing deeper and deeper for the spot that he knows will bring Junmyeon the best pleasure he's ever felt. He massages his walls and Junmyeon starts letting out little moans, his eyelids fluttering close. Jongin searches and searches and searches until he finally brushes Junmyeon's prostate. 

"Oh my god!" Junmyeon's eyes fly open and he jerks against Jongin's fingers inside him. Jongin smirks when he finds the spot and commits it to memory, brushing against it a couple more times to pull out more moans and so he can start scissoring Junmyeon's hole open. Jongin is by no means small, so Junmyeon is going to need enough prep if he's gonna be able to take him.

Soon enough, Jongin works up to four fingers inside of Junmyeon and Junmyeon is pretty much going crazy. Pretty sounds flow out of his mouth as he starts riding back on Jongin's fingers, wishing he would go faster. 

"Does it feel really good now, baby?" Jongin says, his eyes growing darker by the minute as he's turned on beyond a doubt. 

"Mm-hmm..." Junmyeon agrees, nodding his head quickly as he presses back against the digits. "P-please, Jongin...I-I need more!" He pleads, rocking his hips as fast as they can go. 

"You want me to give you more, baby? Are you sure you're ready for it, Myeonnie?" Jongin replies, prodding at Junmyeon's prostate a couple more times before pulling his fingers out completely. 

Junmyeon whines the moment the digits slide out of him, twisting the bed sheets. "Yeah, yes! Please, Jongin, please." He whimpers as Jongin looks through his drawer for a condom. 

After a good couple seconds of looking, Jongin looks back at Junmyeon. "Jun, do you have any condoms?" 

Junmyeon freezes as he realizes no, he doesn't have condoms. He never needed condoms to masturbate, on the rare occasion that is. "N-no...I-I don't." But Junmyeon is so worked up...he wants to continue. "But-but I don't wanna stop, Jongin. Please don't stop, please." 

"I won't, baby, I won't." Jongin coos at him, cupping Junmyeon's face in his hands and leaning down to kiss him. "I'm just gonna have to go in without protection. Are you sure that's okay?" 

"Well, I won't get pregnant if that's what you're insinuating." Jongin glares lightly as he slaps his thigh, Junmyeon jumping a bit at the unexpected hit. 

"Watch it, or I'll leave you here high and dry, Junmyeonnie. I mean it." Jongin warns, Junmyeon blushing and too embarrassed to admit that it turned him on even more. "I didn't really sleep around before we got together, I've only ever slept with two people..."

Junmyeon pushes himself up and attempts to ignore his slightly fluttering hole. "Hey..." He cups Jongin's face in his hands and brings him in for a kiss, caressing his face gently. "It's okay, Jongin. Were you ever tested?" 

Jongin nods. "Yeah, but it's been a little while so..."

"I don't care about that. It said you were clean right?" Jongin nods once more. "Then I believe you and trust you, okay, babe? So please do me a favor and get inside of me like now." He throws himself back down on the bed and spreads his leg. 

"God, get you all worked up and suddenly you're a demanding little cockslut." Jongin says as he takes the lube and slicks himself up. 

Contradictory to the rising blush on his cheeks, Junmyeon's cock twitches as he looks away. "Please, Jongin."

Jongin lines up with Junmyeon's hole, placing a hand on Junmyeon's stomach as a means of grounding him. "This might hurt a bit at first, but breathe through it, Jun, okay?" This time it's Junmyeon's turn to nod. At that, Jongin starts pushing in, stretching Junmyeon's hole further than it's ever been stretched before. 

Junmyeon gasps and his face contorts, his hands moving to grip at Jongin's shoulders. His nails dig in as it burns, but for some reason the burn isn't bad to him. If anything, the burn of the stretch is delicious and he can't wait to feel the pleasure that will surely come along once Jongin is seated deep inside of him and moving. 

Jongin groans as Junmyeon clutches him in an intense warmth. It's been a while since he's had sex with anyone, but Jongin knows it's never felt this good before. Junmyeon’s hole squeezes him like a virgin and Jongin absolutely loves it. 

"Oh, baby, you're so tight..." Junmyeon whines at Jongin's words because he's only sinking in deeper and deeper, Junmyeon's starting to wonder if it'll ever end. 

After what seems like forever, Jongin is fully seated inside of Junmyeon, but instead of moving, he stills and waits, knowing that his lover's body needs time to adjust before he can start pounding into him. 

Junmyeon breathes through it, just as he was told. He feels so full and he's struggling to grasp the feeling. It's foreign, but not bad. He swallows and forces his eyes open that had closed by themselves earlier. Junmyeon allows the feeling to sit for a bit longer before panting out a "please, move" to his boyfriend desperately. 

"If it hurts or you're uncomfortable or you're not enjoying it, just tell me to stop and if you can't say it, pinch me hard on the arm, got it, Junmy-" Jongin is interrupted by Junmyeon. 

"Yes, I understand, just please move now." Junmyeon whines. 

Jongin slaps him on the ass this time. "Don't be so demanding, Jun. Bad boys don't get what they want." He keeps his hips still for a couple extra seconds just because. 

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry." Junmyeon tries to apologize to just _ get him to move already _. 

Jongin stares at him for another second before starting a slow pace. Jongin holds himself back and even though Junmyeon's hole is very, very tempting, he doesn't want to hurt his Junmyeonnie that deserves everything good in the world. 

Eventually, however, Jongin cannot stop himself from speeding up gradually until his head is resting on Junmyeon's shoulder as he rolls his hips inside of him. 

Junmyeon, on the other hand, is clawing at him, the pleasure washing all over him as Jongin hits his prostate and pushes into him with his thick cock. Junmyeon only really got a glance because he was too embarrassed to stare at it, but he did see that it was pretty big. 

Junmyeon has seen dicks prior to this experience, however, it's never been in such an intimate way as it is now. He's seen his ex-boyfriend's while changing or while giving them small, temporary sexual favors to prolong their stay with him, but he's never really _ felt _ like he truly is now. 

He loves it, this love, this intimacy he's sharing with Jongin because Jongin is feeling it too. 

"You feel so good, baby, so, so good." Jongin groans as he thrusts furiously into his lover. "So good for me, Junmyeonnie. You're so beautiful." 

Junmyeon is moaning loud and lewd sounds, he can't think properly at all, all he can feel is the pleasure sinking in bone deep. Jongin is pistoning his hips inside of him so well that if Jongin's body wasn't draped over his own, he wouldn't be sure he could handle all this. 

Junmyeon isn’t good with overwhelming feelings, but having Jongin here with him and coaxing this type of reaction out of him, he can't help but revel in the feeling, especially as it builds the coiling heat in the pit of his stomach.

"Jongin, I-I'm gonna...I need to..." Junmyeon's embarrassed about how early he's feeling the urge to cum, but he can't help it, he's never experienced such intense pleasure. 

"Hold on, baby." Jongin grunts into his ear, grabbing Junmyeon's dick in his hand. He starts to tug in tandem with his pace, kissing and biting and licking and sucking on Junmyeon's supple, pale skin. 

"Hah..." Junmyeon squirms and moves his hips in time with Jongin's. "Uh, Jongin, p-please." 

Jongin kisses up to his neck and up to his lips, moaning and breathing into his mouth as sloppy kisses are given and received. Jongin thrusts and thrusts, teasing Junmyeon by removing his hand from Junmyeon's member. 

"I want you to know..." Jongin starts after a particularly hard thrust into his prostate, punching a mewl out of Junmyeon, "that I love you so much, baby," he slowed down his pace, languidly thrusting into his Junmyeonnie, "you're so gorgeous, so good for me, Jun." 

The praise made everything much more pleasurable for Junmyeon, the coil tugging further and further and Junmyeon feeling like he's about to snap any second. 

"Please! Please, J-jongin, I-I need you to..." It's getting harder and harder for Junmyeon to form sentences and even finish them, he's going into a deeper space he's never been in or felt before, it's hard for him to explain how he's feeling to himself. 

"Okay, baby, I got you..." Jongin whispers, kissing his cheek and moving his hips faster as well as returning his hand to Junmyeon's dick. 

Junmyeon feels like he's about to go insane, the pleasure starting to increase as Jongin's pace builds back up to quick, hurried fucks. He can feel himself squeezing and clenching down on Jongin's dick, it's uncontrollable, like his hole never wants Jongin to pull out, wants to keep Jongin there forever, inside of him and only him. 

The coil tugs and tugs and tugs until it springs back, forcing out the most intense orgasm Junmyeon's ever had. He screams and releases all over his stomach, Jongin continuing to pump him through it as he thrusts straight into his prostate to give him maximum pleasure.

Junmyeon's body jerks slightly as all he sees is white and his mouth opens wide as the orgasm wipes him out completely. If he's being honest, he thinks he even blacked out for a couple seconds before coming to while Jongin submits to his own climax, Junmyeon's hole holding him hostage in a vice grip. 

Jongin cums inside of him as Junmyeon catches his breath and winces in oversensitivity. Jongin pants hard against his exposed neck as he goes through his own orgasm, shoving himself deep inside of Junmyeon. 

Junmyeon's head feels light, like his brain is sitting on a cloud. His body is relaxed and he feels boneless, he also feels the strong urge to be coddled and loved. "Jongin, Jongin?" 

Jongin pulls out and Junmyeon groans at the emptiness. "I'm here, baby, I'm here." He shifts them so they're on their sides, Jongin the big spoon and his arm wrapped around Junmyeon's waist, making him the little spoon. "Did you enjoy it, baby?" 

Junmyeon smiles and turns his head to look up at Jongin. "Yeah, I-I really did. You made it so...amazing for me. It was mind blowing." 

Jongin smiles back. "Good. I'm glad you felt good because of me." Jongin's possessive arm pulls him in closer and he feels Junmyeon snuggle deeper in his arms. "I love you, Junmyeonnie, so much." 

"Love you too, Jongin, so much." Junmyeon replies, turning over so he can snuggle even deeper into Jongin's chest and closing his eyes. Taking in a deep breath of Jongin's natural musk, he allows himself to drift off for the night, feeling loved and cherished in the love of his life's arms. 

.

.

.

It's the next morning and Junmyeon doesn't think he can move because of two factors: Jongin and his big dick that makes his ass very, very sore. 

His face is screwed up as he can barely move his legs without feeling a sharp pain shoot up his spine and throughout his lower back. The mere idea of getting out of bed seems like a very painful task, let alone going to work. He might have to call out. Junmyeon either uses a sick day or he just doesn't get paid for today and he doesn't want to do that. They really should've thought it through better than this.

But Junmyeon would never wanna go back and change that night because it was simply so perfect and beautiful and Junmyeon doesn't think he's ever felt so loved before.

"Babe," Junmyeon strokes at Jongin's face, "babe, please wake up." he’s whispering, and he should speak louder if he really does want him to wake up, but he doesn't want to disrupt the peacefulness settled on his features. He wishes he could see Jongin this peaceful all the time. 

Mindlessly, he starts trailing a finger over the tan, smooth skin of his face. "Baby..." Junmyeon whispers once more and leans forward, pressing a soft kiss to Jongin's pliant lips. He turns his head and leaves a kiss on his cheek, turning again to leave one on his nose. He moves up in an attempt to reach his forehead, but the movement is so sudden that he winces before he can kiss it. 

A whimper leaves his lips as he shifts back down to his previous position, settling himself. A pair of lips press to his own forehead as he moves back down, and he looks up at Jongin's now open eyes. 

"Are you okay, Jun?" Jongin's voice is raspy and he's squinting down at him. 

"No, I..." Junmyeon's cheeks flush a darker shade. "My-my ass hurts, like a lot...and I'm pretty sure all your-your fluids have dried up inside of me and on my thighs." 

Jongin smirks at him. "I bet your hole looks absolutely wrecked." He shoves his head into his boyfriend's neck, biting down in a teasing way. "That's so hot, and sexy, and..." Jongin kisses his neck before nipping again, forcing a shiver down Junmyeon's entire body.

"Jongin," Junmyeon whines, batting at his chest lightly, "I can't believe you're thinking about...what it looks like instead of helping me when I'm in pain." He gives an exasperated sigh.

"I'll help you, baby, hold on." Jongin rolls out of bed on the other side and pulls on his boxer shorts, walking to the bathroom. Junmyeon listens for his actions, hearing running water instead of whatever else he was expecting. 

Junmyeon, in the meantime, reaches over and grabs his phone, wincing from the slight pain of the movement. He dials his office and gets in contact with his secretary, telling her to report to his boss that he's caught a stomach virus and he's taking the day off. 'At least I'm getting paid' is what he tells himself, as he hangs up and places it back on his dresser. 

Jongin jogs back in and scoops Jun into his arms, taking him to the bathroom before standing him up. Junmyeon, for some reason, didn't process the fact that he was still completely naked and turns as red as a tomato when he's set down. Jongin isn't fazed as he immediately removes his boxers and picks Junmyeon up, taking him into the bathtub with him. 

It takes some maneuvering and some pained whines from Junmyeon before they're situated comfortably, but they make it work, Junmyeon leaning back against Jongin's chest in steamy water. 

For a time, Jongin caresses Junmyeon's body, bringing up water to coat the skin before skimming his fingers over it lightly. The moment was quiet and Junmyeon enjoyed it, fully relaxing into his boyfriend's loving hold. He allows himself to feel everything, from the way the water cascades down his back to the fingers ghosting over his shoulder, it was truly calming and gave Junmyeon full body chills. 

"Baby..." Jongin whispers, the ripples of the water and lips attaching to his neck warning Junmyeon of Jongin's movement. Junmyeon swallows hard, tilting his head to the side in quick submission, as if it was on reflex. "I can't believe you're all mine." He breathes into the silence. "So precious, and smart, and beautiful. You're everything to me, Junmyeon." 

Junmyeon gasps. That's the first time he's ever said Junmyeon's full name without having an angry tone to follow. The words also take affect, skin emitting a pinkish red on his cheeks and ears in embarrassment. 

"I love you, Jun, I love you so much." Jongin says and Junmyeon can feel his intense stare. 

"I-I love you too, Jonginnie." Junmyeon replies bashfully.

Jongin's hands eventually sneak down to Junmyeon's ass after a couple minutes of peaceful silence. Junmyeon instinctively tenses. "Relax, babe. I gotta clean you out, you'll be okay." He's teasing with his gestures and Junmyeon doesn't appreciate it as much as he tries to relax. He sends a small glare to Jongin before gasping and moaning at the sudden intrusion of his finger. 

It's a slow process, slower than Junmyeon thinks it should be, but he can't really complain with the way he's moaning and pushing back against his finger. Junmyeon's turned on beyond imagination and he can't think properly as Jongin digs deep and bumps his prostate constantly. His hands find purchase on the rim of the tub, holding on so tight that his knuckles turned white. 

"Ah! J-Jongin..." By now, Jongin has gotten up to two fingers inside of him. "Op-Jongin..." Junmyeon catches his slip up, using the last of his slipping sanity to stop that embarrassing word from coming out. Jongin doesn't seem to notice his catch as he continues to pump his fingers in and out of Junmyeon at a vigorous pace. Junmyeon is thankful. 

Then it stops. One minute, Junmyeon's mind is melting from the intense pleasure and the next, Jongin's fingers aren't inside him anymore and said man is standing up. Junmyeon's face is one of major disbelief as he looks at Jongin. He's turned on beyond imagination and he just...left him?

"Jongin? Um...what?" Junmyeon breathes out in a whiny voice, wondering why his boyfriend is currently drying himself off with the towel instead of making Junmyeon orgasm on his fingers alone. 

Jongin only smirks with a dark twinkle in his eyes. He's also turned on, it's painfully obvious, but he simply wraps the towel around his midsection and shrugs. "I finished cleaning you out." He has the audacity to walk out of the bathroom. 

Junmyeon lays back and looks down at himself, still perplexed and annoyingly horny. He sighs and runs a wet hand through his hair before gingerly standing up, careful not to move too much since he was still sore. However, he was surprised to find that soaking in a hot bath helped to take away some of the soreness, at least enough of it to the point where he could get out without wincing every second and without assistance. 

He steps out and grabs himself a towel, wincing as the towel rubs slightly against his slowly dying hard on. Junmyeon heads out of the room and into their closet for another pair of sweatpants - as those are the least restricting at the moment - and a new shirt. In spite of Jongin, even though he knows his boyfriend wouldn't mind, he steals a hoodie, throwing it over his head. 

Junmyeon headed outside of the room, discovering that Jongin was in the kitchen and digging through their fridge. "Jongin! What the hell was that in there?!" 

"What was what?" Jongin asked innocently, grabbing a banana milk out of the fridge and setting it beside a snack. 

"You-you left me hanging. Why did you stop?" Junmyeon confronts him, confused by this game Jongin's playing. 

"Oh, that?" Jongin asks rhetorically. "Well, you held back, so, I did too." He said as if it was a logical reason, which, to Junmyeon, it totally wasn't. 

"What...what do you mean I held back?" Junmyeon's really confused now. 

Jongin steps closer and looks down at Junmyeon solemnly, lust hiding in the dark pits that are Jongin's eyes. "In the tub, you were about to call me something other than Jongin. But you stopped yourself. What were you going to say, Junmyeonnie?" He takes another step and gets into Junmyeon's personal space. 

So he did catch him. "Um,...I-I...uh, wasn't-I wasn't gonna call you anything, Jongin." 

"You're terrible liar, Junmyeonnie." He bends down and places his mouth right next to Junmyeon's ear, pressing up close and whispering. "Oppa doesn't like liars." 

Junmyeon's mouth hangs open. How did he figure it out? Tons of words start with o and p, if anything, Junmyeon could've been calling him operator. "O-Oppa?" He questions like a child just caught for stealing a cookie from the cookie jar. 

Jongin brings his finger up and places it underneath Junmyeon's chin. He turns his head so their lips hover near each other and his dark, lustful eyes are boring into Junmyeon's. "I'm right, aren't I, baby?" 

Immediately, red attacks the apples of Junmyeon's cheeks, and he's looking away, his breath stolen from him. "How...how did you know?" 

"I know a lot of kinky things, Jun." Jongin whispers, his voice seemingly deeper. "I want you to know that whatever you're into, you can always tell me. I'll embrace it as much as I can. I'll embrace _ you _ as much as I can. So while we're here, why don't you tell me what else you like?" 

"Um, I-I'm not sure. I haven't done many things to myself, I only liked the name Oppa when I would watch porn and hear it, but I guess I like calling you that. A-and I liked when you spanked me and when you called me a, a cockslut. And when you praised me and when you were reprimanding me for trying to rush you and stuff like that. I guess I'm more kinky than I really thought I was, um, so yeah, that's all I can think of..." Junmyeon rambles in embarrassment. 

Jongin's smirk reappears. "You like being humiliated but praised, like when I reprimand you when you're acting like a brat, and like calling me Oppa." He repeated him, his smirk only growing wider as his lusty eyes held Junmyeon's. "Oh, baby, I'm gonna have so much fun with you." 

Junmyeon shudders lightly as Jongin eventually gets closer and closer and closer until there's no more space between them. Jongin takes a possessive claim on his lips as Junmyeon becomes pliant, bringing his arms up to his shoulders while Jongin's wrap around his waist in an avaricious grip. 

Junmyeon loves kissing him because kissing Jongin gives him a feeling he's never felt before with anyone. He feels...small, claimed and none of his previous boyfriends were like that, they never held Junmyeon as if he was a possession, a precious diamond they wanted to keep to themselves; never held him as if he was the reason they breathed. That's how Jongin makes him feel, like he's the most important thing in the world despite everything. Jongin may have trauma, may be messed up in the head and Junmyeon too, he's probably insane for even being with him, but he can't help it.

No one's ever managed to steal Junmyeon's breath the way Jongin has. No one's ever managed to make him speechless the way Jongin has. No one's ever managed to make him melt the way Jongin has. 

Junmyeon's unsure how to describe this connection, this love...it's different, it's stronger, it's _ true _. He never wants to stop this feeling. He's addicted, he's...

..._ overdosing _

.

.

.

They're at the supermarket. It's super romantic and Junmyeon loves it. He made a list and everything just so they don't forget and he’s so into it because it's a cute, bougie little store down the street filled with people doing very docile things in said store. It's mellow and aesthetic and he might even grab the more pricey whole grain wheat bread just because it seems right to choose in that shop. 

His arm is locked with Jongin's and Jongin doesn't seem to mind how he's hanging off of him so to Junmyeon, the whole experience is perfect. 

The quietness along with the silenced shuffling and moving of items has a calming feeling washing over him. Jongin and Junmyeon are basically whispering to each other as they look at the list.

After grabbing the peanut butter, Jongin kisses Junmyeon on the cheek and Junmyeon absolutely beams at him. Then he lands another kiss on his smiling lips, spreading the happy virus to himself. 

"What do you want for dinner tonight, babe?" Junmyeon whispers to Jongin, tugging on his arm a bit as they look down at the assortment of chicken in the poultry part of the meat section. 

"Can you make your barbecue sauce with some chicken and rice? God, I love when you make that for-" Jongin is interrupted by the call of Junmyeon's name. 

They both look over at the masculine voice calling out Junmyeon's name, except Junmyeon already knows who it is. 

Junmyeon's eyes catch on Yifan as he rapidly approaches them with his own hand basket. Junmyeon curses as he looks down and pushes some hair behind his ear. 

"Hey, hey, um, Jun. I-I didn't expect to see you here." Yifan says, running a hand through his hair. His eyes flicker up to Jongin and then back on Junmyeon. "Can I, uh, actually talk to you...in private?" 

Junmyeon feels Jongin's arm hold his own tighter. He knows he shouldn't and he honestly doesn't really wanna talk to Yifan at the moment, but it could be a good trust exercise for Jongin. It's gonna be torture for his boyfriend, but Junmyeon thinks it necessary. 

"Uh," Junmyeon huffs a sigh as he looks away, "yeah, yeah, fine, whatever." 

He glances at Jongin and can see the slight shock on Jongin's face at his answer. Jongin's arm only squeezes Junmyeon's arm tighter against him at the answer. 

"Give me a second." Yifan nods and stalks off to a nearby aisle. Junmyeon turns to Jongin. Jongin's glaring after Yifan and his chest is starting to move a bit faster than it should be. "Hey, hey, look at me, baby, look at me." Jongin connects their eyes and his expression softens. Junmyeon smiles. "There we go." 

Junmyeon rubs his thumbs over the apples of Jongin's cheeks and continues to smile gently at him. "_ Trust _ me, Jongin. I swear, nothing is going to happen between me and him. What we had is over and it's gonna stay that way. I love _ you _ , not him. I am with _ you _. I'm yours, Jongin. Okay? Okay, Jonginnie?" Junmyeon looks at him with innocent eyes and Jongin can't resist them. 

"Okay, baby. I-I trust you." Jongin breathes out. 

Junmyeon's smile shines brighter. "Good, now give me a kiss."

Jongin can't help but smile through his scoff as he leans down and pecks Junmyeon on the lips. "I love you, babe." 

Junmyeon reaches up and kisses him once more before promptly turning and heading towards Yifan, who was lamely checking out a box of green tea. "Okay, what do you want?" His smile completely wipes off his face as he stares at his ex. 

"Um, so, how are you lately?" Yifan beat around the bush, his hand coming up as they walked down the grocery store aisle together. 

"Do you really care, Yifan?" Yifan flinches at the use of his full name. 

"What happened to Fannie?" Yifan asks, annoying Junmyeon. 

"You don't deserve my cute nick name, alright? That's reserved for my not asshole boyfriend who didn't cheat on me." Junmyeon's still bitter. He's forgiven, but no, he hasn't forgotten. He doesn't have to and he also doesn't have to let go of it if he doesn't want to. 

"Look, I fucked up, Jun. I really fucked up, okay? I admit it." Yifan sighs in defeat. "But our connection isn't gone. I can still feel it." 

Junmyeon rolls his eyes. "What the hell are you going on about, Yifan? I'm getting impatient and I have to finish grocery shopping so I can eat dinner."

Yifan gives a small smile. "You still really love to eat, don't you, Jun?" 

"_The_ _point_, Yifan." Junmyeon says firmly, shaking his head as he thinks about what a big waste of time this conversation is. 

Yifan sighs again, then takes a couple deep breaths. Junmyeon wonders if the words will ever make it out of his goddamn mouth. Yifan stops walking and Junmyeon does too, turning to face him. "I want another chance, bunny." He steps closer and before Junmyeon can stop him, he places a hand on Junmyeon's cheek. "We can make it work, Junmyeon. I swear I'll do any and everything to gain your trust back, I will. I still love you, Jun, and what I did was beyond stupid. But I know you still love me too." Yifan's eyes...they're desperate and very hopeful, almost to the point where they're smug. Like there's a part of him that _ knows _ Junmyeon will agree.

Junmyeon stares at him, really stares at him. Eight months ago, Junmyeon would be _ wishing _ for this moment, desperate to take him back because despite the fact that Yifan took his love and shattered it into un-fixable pieces, he still loved him then. He wanted to feel Yifan's touch, wanted Yifan to kiss him with his tainted lips, wanted Yifan to hold him with his corrupted comfort, wanted Yifan to tell him he loved him with his false words. 

But even then, Junmyeon knew his worth. He knew that if Yifan came up to him and did exactly what he's doing now, Junmyeon would turn him away. If there's one other thing in this world Junmyeon will not tolerate aside from abuse, it's cheating. He will not tolerate it at all. He would've said no against his lovesick heart, would've held onto Yifan's hand and shaken his head, would've allowed himself to cry in front of Yifan as he mourned the death of what was once their love. 

At this moment, Junmyeon just doesn't want Yifan here at all. Doesn't want his touch or his love. He doesn't feel the same warmth, doesn't feel anything but the surface of Yifan's hand on his cheek, uncomfortable and awkward. As he looks into Yifan's eyes, they're just full of emotion that he can't recognize anymore, because unlike Yifan, Junmyeon doesn't feel a connection anymore. 

Junmyeon reaches his hand up and grips the back of Yifan's own, gently removing it from his face and letting it go so that it swings back to his side. "No, Yifan, I don't feel anything for you anymore. I've moved on, and I think you need to do the same." Junmyeon tries to leave but Yifan grabs his hand again. 

"But, bunny...we-we can make it work." Yifan's voice is full of desperation. 

Junmyeon shakes his head. "No, we can't, Yifan. The reason we didn't work is because I didn't fulfill your needs the way they needed to be fulfilled, so you found that in someone else. I would've preferred honesty, but it doesn't always happen that way. I wasn't ready to give you my all, so yes, in some smaller ways, this is also partly my fault. It takes two to make or break a relationship. I get that, and that's what you need to understand. If you truly loved me, you would let me go and be with the person that makes me happy instead of holding me up in the spice aisle." 

Junmyeon shakes his hand out of Yifan's grip. Yifan stands there with his head down. "I'm sorry, Junmyeon." He says and even though it's soft and quiet, Junmyeon hears it and gives him a small smile. 

"Find someone that will give you what I couldn't. You're a good person despite your stupid mistake, Yifan. I really do believe that. Just don't do what you did to me because it won't work without honesty and communication." Regardless of whether this meet up with Yifan was destined or not, Junmyeon feels the time talking finally allowed him to let go. He feels lighter and happy that he could (hopefully) help Yifan move on and find someone special that will make him happy. 

Junmyeon walks away and goes searching for Jongin, not looking back at his past as he moves forward.

.

. 

. 

Junmyeon gets a text as he's earning his pay making copies of a page layout so he can pass it out in his meeting for later in the day. Technically he's not supposed to be on his phone, but nobody's in here and he's only gonna be checking. 

He pulls out his device and checks the new notifications on it. It's text messages from the last person he would expect them from. 

**_Sehunnie:_** _Can we meet up for lunch today?_

**_Sehunnie:_** _Please?_

It's been a while since he's talked to Sehun. He assumed that Sehun would be upset about Junmyeon continuing to be with Jongin despite what he put his friends and family through. 

Junmyeon was shocked and didn't expect this at all. Of course he wants to see his best friend, it's been too long since they last saw each other. He misses his cuddle buddy. So, he can only reply with-

**_Junmyeon:_** _Yeah, where?_

The reply is instantaneous. 

**_Sehunnie:_** _Mako Sushi on the corner of fifth and third._

**_Sehunnie:_** _What time do you get off for lunch?_

**_Junmyeon:_** _12, see you then._

**_Sehunnie:_** _See you there._

Junmyeon tucks his phone away in his pants and grabs his copies, heading to his office and glancing at the clock on his way out. He's got a good hour before he's supposed to meet Sehun, so he gets back to work. 

He spends the time writing out the key points of his presentation so he can convince his boss to key the page he's so desperate to put out. It's an important sponsor for their company and this specific sponsor also donates a generous amount to aid in the search for clean energy in attempts to stop climate change. 

His mind starts wandering at one point, simply jumping from one random thought to the next. From how he supports climate change to his future with Jongin and hopefully their future children. Junmyeon doesn’t even realize it until he’s accidentally written ‘dad’ instead of ‘and’ on one of his note cards. 

Instead of letting his mind wander again, Junmyeon reins in his thoughts and focuses solely on the note cards in front of him. And before he knows it, it's been a full hour, having finished his note cards and checking over his copies one last time to make sure there aren't any flaws. 

He walks out of his office and locks the door, heading outside and deciding to walk to the shop in lieu of taking his car. The walk only took about five minutes and Junmyeon wanted some fresh air after thinking about nature for a small part of that hour. 

Finally, he makes it to the sushi place and enters, looking around for Sehun. 

"Junmyeon." He hears a voice call and catches Sehun's eyes staring at him from over the top of a booth. 

Junmyeon smiles and walks over to the booth, sitting down on the opposite side. "Hey, Sehunnie." He greets his best friend, elated that he's getting to see him for the first time in a while. 

"How are you?" Sehun asks as he takes a sip of the water on the table. 

Junmyeon does the same before answering. "I'm good, life isn't too bad for me, honestly. If anything, I'm actually really happy with how everything has turned out and how it's going. What about you?" 

"It's been pretty good, Chanyeol and Jongdae have been taking really good care of me. I would've brought Chanyeol along, but he had work today and so did Jongdae. I thought I should drop by and visit because it's been a while since we've seen each other last." Sehun explains. 

"Yeah, definitely! I'm glad you're here. I've missed you all so much." Junmyeon confesses, looking down at his menu to see what he wanted to order. It's quiet for a couple minutes as they choose what they want and put in their order with the waiter. "So, how are my brother and Baekhyun?" 

"They're doing really well. Minseok and Baekhyun are actually talking about adopting a baby. Baekhyun's been really wanting one and Minseok wants to give Baekhyun whatever he wants, but Minseok seems genuinely excited about the baby too. They were talking about surrogacy, but Baekhyun doesn't want to wait nine months, so they've been looking into adoption." Sehun spills the tea, smiling at the shock on Junmyeon's face. 

"You're shitting me?" Junmyeon is stunned, he never thought his brother would want kids, especially with the life they live, but he must've been wrong. 

Sehun shakes his head. "Nope, I'm being one hundred percent honest. I'm really happy and excited for them." 

"That-that's amazing news, Sehun! I-I get to be an uncle! Oh my god, tonight I'm gonna call my brother and curse him out for not telling me." Junmyeon plays with the water running down the sides of his cup. "And you know what's kinda funny about that? Earlier I was thinking about Jongin and I having children sometime later in the future." 

Sehun's smile immediately wipes off his face. "Oh...you're still together with him?" 

Junmyeon glances up at the tone of Sehun's voice. "Yeah...is that not what you were expecting?" 

"No, it's just...I don't know..." Sehun glances out of the window before looking back at Junmyeon. 

"Bullshit." Junmyeon calls him on it. "Say it out right, you're not the type to keep quiet and we both know that Sehun." 

Sehun hesitates before speaking, "I just...think it's kinda fucked up to date the person that tried to kill me and everyone else you love." 

Junmyeon exhales. "Look, I know what he did was not okay at all, but he's really trying to get better, I'm helping him out. I'll even make him give a formal apology to all of you if you want." Junmyeon tries to make his best friend understand. "We're working together and honestly, this is the happiest I've ever been with anyone. He-he loves me and he loves me like I've never been loved before, the way I’ve always _ needed _to be loved. I-I seriously believe that he's the one for me. That...he's my soulmate." 

"I don't think you want him to be, Junmyeonnie. He-he..." Sehun gulps as he looks down. "He tried to kill me, Jun. I was lucky to be found by Jongdae that day." 

Junmyeon bites his lip, he can't defend his boyfriend because he did do that. He can't deny the fact unfortunately. "Yes, he did try to hurt you and Jongdae and everyone else, there's no point in denying it because we both know it happened. But Jongin is changing for the better. I got through to him at the last moment when he was about to lose his life and about to take someone else's, which means he wasn't in the right state of mind. No one deserved to die that day, despite whatever happened, no one.

"You know I'm a pacifist but even pacifists can't stop everyone from fighting. That time I could, I made a choice, it was _ me _ . Jongin is changing himself, trying his hardest, Sehunnie, I see it _ everyday _. He's improving. He did wrong but he can repent and apologise and regret it for the rest of his life, and from his mistake he can grow. Like he's doing now." Junmyeon tries to get his best friend to understand. 

Sehun shakes his head and stares at the table. "I don't even know if I'll be able to ever recover from something as traumatic as what he put me through. I still have nightmares, Myeon! Nightmares!" Sehun's getting a little heated, his hand gestures moving faster and getting bigger. 

"Sehunnie," Junmyeon takes his hand in both of his own, "please try to understand. My whole life I've been looking for love like this and now that I finally have it, I really don't want to let it go. I know he put you through hell and that you're still scared, I mean, who wouldn't be? But all I'm asking is that you support my decision because I'm a grown adult and I can deal with a hell of a lot more than everyone thinks." 

"I want...no, I-I need you to leave him, Junmyeon. Or else we can't associate anymore." Sehun looked up at Junmyeon, his expression serious with his brows furrowed. 

"We-we can't...what?" Junmyeon isn't comprehending. 

Sehun gulps and takes his hand away from Junmyeon's. "You heard me, Junmyeon. We can't be friends anymore if you continue to see Jongin."

Junmyeon looks down at the table, his hands frozen in their spot as he stares at them. "You're...you're making me choose, Sehun?" 

"Yeah, I'm making you choose, Junmyeon. This man, he-he tried to kill my boyfriends, he tried to hurt me, he tried to hurt Baekhyun, he tried to kill your _ brother _." Sehun replies. 

Junmyeon couldn't believe what he was hearing. "You-you're kidding me, Sehun. I-I'm not choosing, I refuse." 

Sehun is quiet as the waiter brings their plates of sushi. Once he walks away, Sehun speaks. "I guess we know your decision." He stands and pulls money out of his pocket, tossing it on the table before exiting. Junmyeon couldn't get in a word as Sehun left abruptly, years of friendship smashed to pieces. 

.

.

.

It's been a rough day for Junmyeon.

He's tired and sad and just wants to lay down with his boyfriend who will shower him with love and attention and maybe even make him forget about his terribly shitty day. 

"Jongin?" Junmyeon calls, his voice low with exhaustion weighing it down. 

"Babe?" Jongin calls back, walking out of their shared room with only shorts on. 

Junmyeon takes his shoes off and sets down his work bag before heading in towards their room. He makes it to the door and immediately leans on his boyfriend, Jongin embracing him gently. 

"Are you okay, Myeonnie?" Jongin asks quietly, rubbing his boyfriend's back. 

"Bad day." Junmyeon sighs out, but doesn't elaborate. 

Jongin kisses his temple. "I'm sorry, Jun. It was hard to deal with, wasn't it?" 

Junmyeon nods. "Yeah, I'm really tired. Lost my appetite after lunch." 

"What happened?" Jongin places another kiss on his cheek. 

Warmth seeps into Junmyeon as he shakes his head. "I met with someone for lunch and it didn't end too well." 

"Who was it?" Jongin looks down at his boyfriend. 

"It's not important, I just wanna lay down and forget anything ever happened today." Junmyeon whispers into Jongin's shoulder, nuzzling his head there. 

"Why don't you ever tell me who you're going out to meet?" Jongin asks, looking down at Junmyeon. "I just want to know. It's not even the fact that I don't trust you, I would just like to know who you're always hanging out with, you know?"

Junmyeon pulls away and sighs. "Look, I just don't want to think about it, Jongin, seriously." 

Jongin huffs in annoyance. "It makes me...makes me feel suspicious because you could be doing anything and you know my brain immediately goes to the worst case scenario. It would probably be better if you told me." 

"I don't want to talk about it, Jongin, okay? Please, just knock it off and let it go." Junmyeon shoves past his boyfriend and into their room so he could change out of his work clothes. 

"You can't do that to me, Junmyeon! I won't assume anything, or I'll try not to, but I only wanna know who you've been out with cause it worries me when you don't tell me who you're out with." Jongin tries to explain his feelings, tries to stop himself from getting mad, but Junmyeon isn't making it easy. 

"Next time, I'll tell you, but for now, I don't even wanna think about it." Junmyeon pulls his shirt off and slips on his old Red Velvet concert shirt. 

Jongin takes a deep breath, tries to calm himself down. "No, Junmyeon, that's not fair. We can't only discuss things on your terms, that's not how it works in a relationship." 

Junmyeon blew up, the hurt from this afternoon fueling his anger. "And what would you know about relationships? Huh? What would you know when you literally thought hurting your partner was the way to make them stay?" 

Jongin is practically breathing fire at this point. "Oh that was fucked up, Junmyeon, that was really, really fucked up." He turns around and stomps out into the kitchen, grabbing himself a glass of water. 

Unfortunately, Junmyeon isn't done with his little rampage. "No, you know what?" He goes out of their room and finds Jongin in the kitchen. "You wanna know so badly who I met today at lunch? I met with Sehun, my best friend that you basically tortured back at that warehouse. And you know what? It's your fault that he came today to tell me we can't be friends anymore." 

"Goddamn it, leave me the fuck alone, Junmyeon!" Jongin yells at him.

"Well, you wanted me to be fair, and I'm just giving you what you want, babe!" Junmyeon shouts back, voicing the pet name sarcastically. 

Jongin turns his glare, his anger builds and builds and builds as Junmyeon won't leave him alone, to the point where he feels the urge to hit something. "Junmyeon, stop talking to me. Please, I'm telling you to shut up and leave me alone." Jongin steps around Junmyeon, attempting to turn away from the situation hopefully. 

"No, don't walk away from me. You got to tell your feelings, I think it's only _ fair _ I get to share mine. You know what's been weighing on my mind, Jongin? I might not get to see my friends, my brother and his husband, or the baby they're gonna adopt. I'm gonna be left out of everything because I'm with you! I have to distance myself from them and it's been hard, but can I talk about it? No, no, I can't talk about it because I'm too considerate about your feelings that I have to keep mine bottled up!" Junmyeon shouts at Jongin's back, holding back his tears. 

"Well, I'm so fucking sorry that you didn't turn me into the police the moment you had the chance! I'm fucking sorry that you regret your choice to be with me! But if you keep talking to me, I swear to fucking god you're gonna be the one that's sorry." Jongin is livid and he's clenching his fists tightly, trying to remain in control with Junmyeon pushing his buttons. 

"Don't put fucking words into my mouth, Jongin!" Junmyeon ignores his verbal warning, stepping closer. "Are you even fucking listening to me?! Turn around and face me, Jongin, show me that it's not only one sided like it practically always is-" Junmyeon doesn't see it coming, he gasps as he feels the hand connecting with his face and his head whipping to the side. 

"Shut up, Junmyeon! I told you to shut the fuck up!" Jongin yells, his chest heaving as his arm hangs in the air. 

Junmyeon brings his hand up and holds his cheek and it's then that Jongin realizes what he did. Junmyeon looks at him, his eyes still shining with the tears from the earlier pain but now more are filling in as his cheek starts smarting. His bottom lip trembles as he fights to keep in the tears. 

"Junmyeon, baby, I didn't..." Jongin starts but stops, knows he can't say anything to take back what he already did. 

There's a knock on the door and they both look over before Junmyeon wipes his tears and heads towards the door, fixing himself up a bit. He opens the door with a fake smile, surprised to see Sooyoung right there with a concerned look. 

"Um, hey, Sooyoung, uh, can I do anything for you?" Junmyeon struggles to keep the smile on his face, hoping his cheek isn't too red or looks too suspiciously like a hand mark. 

"Oh, um, I was just coming over to check and see if everything was okay. If you're alright or maybe you need something?" She asks, her eyes landing on his cheek and lingering for too long not to notice. 

"No, I-I'm good, but thank you, really thank you for checking." Junmyeon widens his smile in a more genuine way. He has some really good neighbors. 

Sooyoung hesitates. "Are you sure? I heard some yelling and commotion, I thought...I just want to make sure if you're _ really _ okay, Junmyeon?" 

Junmyeon holds back a sigh. "Yes, everything is okay, everything is fine. It's just a fight, nothing too serious. We'll-we'll probably forget about it in a couple hours." 

Sooyoung stares at Junmyeon, tries to communicate and ask if he needs help with her eyes. He doesn't feed into it. "Okay. Well, if you're sure." She nods slowly and gives a small smile. 

"Yeah, uh, I really appreciate this and tell Seungwan I said hi." He says. 

She replies instantly, "Of course, she'll be happy to hear from you. Have a goodnight, Junmyeon." And with that, she walks back down the hall to her room. 

Junmyeon shuts the door and gives a shaky exhale before turning around to face Jongin who is still staring at Junmyeon. Junmyeon walks over and points to his cheek. "This, Jongin, can never happen again, understand? I won't allow myself to get hurt, I won't tolerate it." 

Jongin nods, glancing down at the carpet. "Okay. I understand, Junmyeon. I do. I-I'm sorry, I really am. There's no way to excuse what I did." 

Junmyeon sits down on the couch and pats the cushion next to him to which Jongin sits on it. "I think..." Junmyeon takes a deep breath, "I think we need to go to therapy. And not just you, us. We need to work on our trust and maybe even have individual sessions to see what we need to work on to make the trust work." 

Jongin sighs but doesn't protest. "Okay, Myeonnie...I'll do it, anything to help me keep you." 

"I love you, Jongin. And I know, in my heart, you are my forever. It's gonna take some help in working it out because sometimes we can't give each other the help needed. I'm not just saying you need help, but I do too. I've never been in a relationship so-so serious before so it's hard to navigate sometimes." Junmyeon says, gripping one of Jongin's free hands in his own. 

"I love you too, my baby." Jongin brings a hand up to his boyfriend's face, caressing the cheek that was still red. "I'm so..." Jongin lets out a frustrated sigh, "I'm so, so sorry, Jun. There was no reason at all for me to put my hands on you, there really wasn't. I'm sorry I hurt you, I don't deserve you at all." 

Junmyeon smiles and turns his head, placing a soft kiss on his palm. "It's okay, babe, it's okay. I-I have to admit, part of it is my fault. I-I know you struggle with holding your temper and you were even strong enough to walk away and continue to walk away. But I kept following and pushing your buttons when I knew I shouldn't have. I told you to do that when you got angry for this specific reason, so it didn't get so bad to the point where you felt the urge or did hit me. 

"I shouldn't have done what I did, especially with knowing how you are when you get angry. You shouldn't have hit me, but I shouldn't have followed you or said the things I said. Since you're willing to admit your fault, I'll admit mine too. " Junmyeon nods, leaning into his hand and squeezing the other. 

"We're in this together, Junmyeon, and we'll make it. I just know." And with that, they kissed, and decided not to think, but to feel, to touch, to love.

.

.

.

The office is a blinding white. Junmyeon loves the color white, what it represents, what it signifies. He loves white almost as much as he loves yellow. But at the moment it's...annoying. Too bright, too harsh on his eyes.

There's a sort of tense air hanging around him and Jongin. Junmyeon knows why it's there, he just doesn't want it to be there. Ever since the fight, Junmyeon and Jongin have been acting like it never happened: spoke like it never happened, kissed like it never happened, hugged like it never happened, fucked like it never happened. 

But now they have to face it. Junmyeon doesn't want to explain as Jongin generously takes the lead in talking to the therapist. Junmyeon would've preferred it to be Joohyun, but she recommended one of her colleagues as she isn't a couples therapist and isn't completely specialized like her friend.

So here they sit with Yerim (one of the best - Joohyun mentioned), telling her about the fight and about the trust issues they had lately. Junmyeon’s sitting on a different chair from Jongin, his boyfriend on the couch and lounging back as he recalls the details from that night. And he's being fair about it, explaining what he did while also talking about what Junmyeon did. 

"And then I...I-I don't know, lost control? I ended up hitting him, slapping him to be more specific. It happened really quickly, and I regretted it immediately after but...I did it and there's no excuse." Jongin finishes his explanation, his fingers fumbling with the ends of his gray shirt. 

Yerim is taking notes, nodding her head to let Jongin know she's listening intently and methodically. Before the whole meeting had started, she had mentioned that she wasn't there to judge no matter what they told her, that all their files were confidential unless they gave her explicit permission to release them to whoever. 

"Okay, Jongin. Do you have a violent history with other previous partners?" Yerim asks, leaning forward and resting her pad on her crossed legs. 

"I-I've only had one other partner before. I-I used to hit him because I thought that was the only way to get him to stay with me. I drove him away from me, and when I got with Junmyeon, I wasn't as bad and he taught me that I shouldn't hit him to stay with me. That I can't force it that way, that I think this way because of my father and his fucked up relationship with my mother." Jongin's eyes are closed. 

"Ah, I see, I see. Okay." Yerim turns to Junmyeon. "Junmyeon, do you believe any part of the story happened differently or was warped in a way to make it seem more like your fault?"

Junmyeon shakes his head. "No, I think it pretty much happened that way. I followed him even though I know how he gets and that wasn't okay for me to do, I realize that now. Um, Jongin was trying to walk away and though I know he shouldn't have put his hands on me regardless, I did provoke him." 

She jotts down some notes again. "Okay, well, the good thing is that you've learned or are learning from your abusive ways, Jongin," she smiles and nods at him, "and the moment you did strike Junmyeon, you stopped and realized your fault. That's definitely progress and I believe we can get you to a place where you can have control over your actions even if Junmyeon is adding to the moment in which anger is building.

"Junmyeon, as for you, have you made it a habit of not telling Jongin who you meet with?" She turns to Junmyeon this time. 

Junmyeon's voice is softer, he's afraid of being scolded though he knows it’s not her job to do that. "Y-yeah." He nods hesitantly. "I thought that maybe it'd be a good way to build trust between us."

"Mhm..." Yerim makes a sheepish face. "I'm afraid that is actually having the opposite effect. Jongin feels, and please correct me if I'm wrong, Jongin, but he feels as if you are doing something that you shouldn't be doing when you're out because you refuse to talk about it. Granted, you aren't obligated to tell him where you are all the time, however, over all, it's better to be open and honest about that, especially because you know about Jongin's issues. If you want to make this work, your relationship will benefit with reassurance and honesty." Yerim looks between Jongin and Junmyeon. 

"Okay, how about you two share your feelings from that night? Recall it as best as you can, if you would like, I can step out of the room, anything to make sure you're comfortable and feel safe." Yerim looks at them expectantly. 

Jongin speaks first as Junmyeon looks at him. "You can stay, it's fine." 

Junmyeon stands up and cautiously steps over to his boyfriend, sitting beside him on the couch. He looks at his boyfriend and gives a gentle smile. "D-do you wanna go first, Jongin?"

Jongin sits up and looks at Junmyeon, returning his smile with a small one of his own. "Sure." Jongin takes a deep breath. "Well, that night, all I wanted to know was where you were and when you didn't tell me, I-I got mad. After asking a couple times, I couldn't help but think about whether or not you were cheating on me. I know that you've told me you would never do that and I believe that, I really do, Jun, but, everytime you don't tell me who you're out with, it brings my head to those thoughts and it makes me think that you were with someone that I can't trust.

"I didn't just feel mad at you, but I felt hurt and betrayed. W-why can't you trust me with that information? Is it me? Is it because of my fucked up thinking and my fucked up mind and my fucked up life that you think you can't tell me? Why am I the one left out? I-I'm your boyfriend, Junmyeon, why can't I be trusted when I thought I was the one you were supposed to trust the most?" Tears well up in Jongin's eyes, and it hurts Junmyeon to see this, his emotions that are vulnerable and almost too scared to be shown. His jaw is ticking like he's angry, but Junmyeon knows he isn't, he's just deeply insecure and hurt. 

It makes Junmyeon want to cry. "I-I'm so sorry, Jongin. It was never my intention to make you feel that way. I never wanted you to think that I didn't trust you." Junmyeon lifts his hand up, places it gently and reluctantly against Jongin's cheek. "Oh baby, that-that night I was just..." Junmyeon sighs, remembering what went down that day, "...earlier, I had lunch with Sehun. Like I told you when we were fighting. I had lunch with him and he told me that we couldn't be friends anymore because I'm dating you. In that moment, I just wanted to make you feel as shitty as I was feeling. I was hurt and I took it out on you and I never should've done that. And when you walked away, even though we had discussed it, I was being irrational and thought, 'why does he get to share his feelings but walk away the moment I try to tell him mine?' I know you didn’t intend for it to come off that way, but that’s how I took it in the heat of the moment."

Jongin tilts his head into Junmyeon's hand, closing his eyes as he listens. "Thank you for sharing with me." 

"Thank you for sharing with me, Jongin." Junmyeon replies with another smile as he wipes away one of Jongin's tears. 

Yerim clears her throat and smiles at them once the duo breaks out of their moment. "This is good progress towards the path of healing. It seems as though, Jongin, it's your, well, childhood trauma and deep set insecurities that really make you so emotional. You need to let it out instead of suppressing it. If emotion can't get out the way it is, it'll fuel another emotion just to get that small sense of relief.

"As for you, Junmyeon, you are suppressing your emotions, similarly to Jongin, however, your emotions are released by attempting to reflect those emotions onto someone else. Kind of like...you don't want to feel but you are, so everyone should also feel it. So really both of you, not just one or the other, need to release your emotions in a healthier way. Whenever you're feeling an emotion, let it out, really _ feel _ that emotion. Talk to someone; and if you can't, then wait until you get home and cry about it or let it out someway or recall what happened to each other." Yerim concludes. "Now if it's okay with you, I think we should continue to see each other because there are still some things I want to help you out with and work you through. I recommend individual sessions as well as couple sessions, such as this." 

Junmyeon gazes deeply at Jongin's side profile. "Is that okay with you, babe? Because I really think we should continue to see Yerim and work this out. What do you say?" 

Jongin glances at him and then looks down, nodding. "Yeah, we should keep this going." He smiles at Junmyeon. 

Yerim smiles gleefully. "I think you two will be okay." 

And for the moment, Junmyeon is filled with hope for their future. 

.

.

.

Jongin rubs Junmyeon's arm, dragging his fingers up and down in a gentle caress. 

The TV is off and the ambiance is calm, silence filling up the space of their living room as they cuddle close on the couch. Every night since their first therapy session they've been sitting on the couch and sitting there together. If talking is what they need to do, then it's what they do, and if it's not, then they allow the silence to consume them, find comfort in the closeness and the warmth and the safety of each other's arms. 

Jongin takes a deep breath. "I, uh, signed up for teaching dance classes." 

Junmyeon hums. "Really, babe?" 

"Mhm...I did. During my individual session with Yerim, she said it would be good to channel all that suppressed anger into something. She suggested some kind of physical activity so I looked around and found this dance studio. I asked if I could apply for a teaching position and they said they had spots open for the contemporary and hip hop classes." Jongin admits, his eyes staring some place behind the TV. 

Junmyeon smiles. "That's great, babe. Really, it is. I'm proud that you're really following through and trying for us." He reaches over with the hand that isn't around Jongin's waist and grabs the hand on his shoulder. 

"There isn't one person in the world that I would try harder for, Junmyeon, and that's the truth." Jongin isn't smiling, but he's completely serious and sincere; Junmyeon can see it in his eyes. 

Junmyeon stares into his dark eyes for a bit before moving forward and kissing him on the lips. Nothing too passionate or deep, but it's held there and translates Junmyeon's gratitude as well as his love for Jongin. 

Junmyeon pulls back and gives him a soft smile before settling down in Jongin's arms again. "Today...I-I kept thinking of Sehun. I really want to reach out to him and fix things, but-but I can't because...he wanted me to break up with you." 

"Baby..." Jongin sounds apologetic. "I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry that I'm ruining the relationships you have with your family and friends." 

"Jongin," Junmyeon looks at him, bringing his hand up and cupping his cheek, "I want you to know, I don't blame you at all for what's going on between me and Sehun or me and my brother and Baekhyun. I don't because it was my decision to be with you. And you know what? Things might be difficult with them, but I can't regret the choice I've made because in all twenty-eight years of my life, I've never been so happy. And it's you, you make me happy, Jongin. Happier than I've ever been with anyone before.

"Before you, I was just a nerd desperately searching for someone to love, for someone, anyone that felt right. The first time I saw you, I _ knew _ you were what I had always been looking for. And I want to keep my friends and my family, but I can't give you up, Jongin. I know people can't have their cake and eat it too, but I'll figure out a way. I'm sure I can find a way to have it all, I...I just need time to talk with them." Junmyeon isn’t so sure of his words but he's sure as hell going to try. 

"Junmyeon, I think...I think we need to talk about my past. Not just about my past with Jongdae, but when I was a kid." Jongin gulps, his eyes downcast. 

"Are you sure, babe? We don't have to talk about this now, if you're not ready." Junmyeon replies, staring at Jongin's side profile. 

Jongin looks at Junmyeon. "When I was a little boy...my dad, well, if my mom wasn't home, he'd take a couple swings at me. It was never anything as serious as what he did to my mom, but it still hurt you know? He was usually drunk when it happened, he'd force my mom into buying him beers and wine coolers and large bottles of vodka. Anything that included at least one percent alcohol or more." Jongin starts explaining anyway, despite Junmyeon's reply.

"It was hard. In high school, I got into some trouble but nothing too serious. Just tried to continue on and get through school unnoticed. It was better that way, no one could hurt me, but...then I met Jongdae. He'd walked into the dance room while I was practicing and after that we just, I don't know, I guess we saw each other more until we started dating. We had our first fight and he wouldn't listen to me so I hit him. And you know what, at some point it got...it got really, really bad. At some point, I-I let it get to my head. 

"Jun, at some point, I..." Jongin's eyes filled with tears and the tears fell down his cheeks, bouncing off the soft skin and soaking into his shirt. "...I did it even when he didn't do anything wrong. My dad drank even more when I was in high school, he would beat me in place of my mom when she was at work. Poor Jongdae...none of it was his fault. Any little thing could set me off. It was like he was standing on a landmine field, one wrong move and I would blow. He was the only bit of control, the only bit of power I had over my own life. 

"I'm a terrible person, Junmyeon. I tried to kill your family and friends and even...I was going to kill Yixing after, since he would’ve turned on me. And it was all because I could never take responsibility for my actions, could only ever blame everyone else for my pain because I shouldn't have had to feel that type of pain. But I did, and sometimes it was my fault and sometimes it wasn't, I couldn't come to terms with any of it." Tears streamed down Jongin's face and Junmyeon couldn't help but shed a couple of his own tears. 

Junmyeon takes a deep shaky breath. "Have you...have you ever felt like hurting me when you're not angry? Or even when you're angry, Jongin?" 

Jongin turns to Junmyeon and brings up his hands, cupping Junmyeon's face. The tears were still going uncontrollably and his eyes were red. "Baby...you are the-the only one in the world that I don't ever want to hurt. And that may contradict what I've done in the past, but I'm working on it, Jun. I'm doing it for you. I'll do anything it takes to keep you with me, anything, Jun." Jongin leans forward and kisses Junmyeon's lips, deeply, deeper than he ever has before.

"Would it...would it be okay if I brought everyone over so you could...apologize?" Junmyeon asks after they've pulled apart, his hand holding onto Jongin's. "I believe you, Jongin. I believe every single word you have said to me and I trust in you. I do, Jongin. Of course this would be when you're ready to face everyone, and when they're willing to face you, but...it-it would mean a lot to me, and I think it might even mean something to you..." Junmyeon trails off, unsure of where Jongin stands. 

It took a moment for him to reply, but he did. "Yeah, I think the only thing that can help me come to terms with it is by...facing it head on." Jongin nods, pulling Junmyeon back so they're close together again. 

"Good, babe." Junmyeon snuggles up to him again. "And I know I've said this before, but I genuinely don't blame you. I just said whatever in the moment to hurt you. Honestly, that's what I have to work on, my-my sharp tongue has always gotten me in trouble. Minseok and I both got it from our dad." Junmyeon suddenly looks away. 

"Did your father...did he _ do _ something to you and Minseok?" Jongin asks out of curiosity. 

Junmyeon smiles at his boyfriend lightly. "My-my dad abused us. Verbally and physically. And he killed my mother. Then tried to kill Minseok, so Minseok killed him. That's why I told you I wouldn't tolerate any of it, because I know my self worth and I deserve to be loved and get the utmost respect. I went through years of therapy to figure that out and I'm not gonna let it go to waste now." 

"The last thing you need is another abusive person in your life." Jongin whispers more to himself than to Junmyeon. 

"Hey," Junmyeon says to his boyfriend, "you're nothing like him, baby. Okay? You actually love me, you're trying to change for me, you want me because you want me and that's more than I could ever ask." He smiles and leans up for another kiss. 

"You know that I love you more than anything in this universe, right, Jun?" Jongin strokes his fingers down Junmyeon's arm, giving him a gentle peck when he sees his puckered lips. 

Junmyeon kisses him back and sighs while curling up next to him, snuggling deep into his side. "I love you too, Jonginnie." They sit there in silence and hold each other before Junmyeon speaks again, "We'll make it there together, Jongin. One step at a time." 

Jongin presses a fluttering kiss to the top of Junmyeon's head. "One step at a time." 

.

.

.

Arms wrap around Jongin's waist as he cooks food for the two of them. "Baby," Junmyeon rests his head on Jongin's shoulder, smiling as he squeezes him tightly, "you're making breakfast for me?" 

"Well, it was supposed to be a surprise, but you couldn't stay asleep long enough." Jongin glares playfully. 

Junmyeon huffs and mocks him with a pout. "Or someone wasn't fast enough." 

"Be grateful you're even getting breakfast at all, you brat." Jongin scoffs through his smirk. 

Junmyeon shoves his face into the crook of Jongin's neck, pressing kisses up and down the length of his tan skin. "Thank you, Oppa." He teases lightly. 

Jongin tilts his head as he flips a pancake, biting his bottom lip. "That's not fair, baby."

Junmyeon hums and sucks lightly beneath Jongin's jaw, right on his pulse. "What's not fair?"

"Don't make me punish you, baby boy. Cause you won't like it if Oppa punishes you." Jongin warns, removing the pancake from the heat. "Go set up the table so we can eat, Myeonnie." 

Junmyeon sighs and pouts petulantly but walks away and gets out all they're gonna need to eat breakfast. He sets it up in the bar area and waits for Jongin to come over. He takes a moment to appreciate the slender build of his boyfriend's body, a shirt and a pair of boxers somehow accentuating his figure. It makes him drool for a bit, not that he would outright admit it; unless Jongin notices. 

Junmyeon feels happy as his boyfriend sits next to him and they eat together. He takes a bite of the pancakes and moans at the taste, genuinely surprised that he added chocolate chips. "This is so good, babe. Where did you get the idea to add chocolate chips?" 

Jongin shrugs. "I don't know, I guess I saw them and they reminded me of when I was young. My grandma made them for me the few times my parents left me there, I loved it. She even called..." Jongin trails off with a nostalgically fond and embarrassing chuckle, "she called them Nini-cakes. That's what she used to call me, Nini. It was only her nickname, she was the only one who used it, really." 

Junmyeon reaches over and places his free hand over Jongin's. "That's a really great memory. Thank you for sharing it with me." 

"Of course," Jongin replies as he cuts into his pancakes, "it's one of the best memories I have of her." 

There's silence as they finish their food, Junmyeon and Jongin savoring the pancakes. Junmyeon honestly really loves the taste and Jongin can't help but think of the good times as he pours syrup on top of them and tastes the sticky sweetness alongside the slightly bitter sweet chocolatey flavor. 

Once they finish, Junmyeon starts doing the dishes, taking their used silverware and plates. "Hey, babe?" Junmyeon starts curiously as he washes dishes. 

Jongin looks up from where he was staring at the table. "Yeah, Jun?" 

"I was just wondering, did your grandmother have other nicknames for you when you were younger?" Junmyeon wanted to let his boyfriend revisit the good times of his childhood and being with his grandmother was definitely a good memory. 

Jongin smiles and gazes into the marble of the bar island they ate at. "Yeah, she did. Sometimes it was Nini, sometimes it was little bear, sometimes it was Nini bear. She could never choose one, she used all of them whenever she saw fit. It's kind of embarrassing, honestly, but...I really loved when she called me that. Any of them, it just let me know that someone was there to love me and hold me and give me attention."

Junmyeon stays silent for a couple extra seconds. "What if I...would you like it if I used one of those nicknames?" 

It takes a moment before Jongin responds. "Yeah, if you want to, I really wouldn't mind." He nods, smiling at his boyfriend. 

"Hmm..." Junmyeon hums with a small smile. The next thing he knows, there are arms wrapping around his torso and there's a head on his shoulder, much like he did to Jongin earlier.

Lips caress the skin of his shoulder and goose bumps jump all the way down his arms. Junmyeon gasps at the sudden and very intimate contact. Jongin chuckles against his back, the vibrations sending a shiver through Junmyeon's body. "I want a cute nickname for you." Jongin murmurs into his skin, his voice lower than normal and rumbling in his chest. 

"Y-you already have so many for me. You call me Myeon or Myeonnie. I love when-when you call me baby, I really do. Plus I don't have any childhood nicknames to let you use. I've always just been Junmyeon." Junmyeon shrugs as best he can with his boyfriend hanging off him the way he is. 

"Come on, someone had to have a cute, creative nickname." Jongin continues to prod, mouthing at his shoulder and sucking a hickey right in the junction of his neck and shoulder. 

"Ummm..." It was hard for Junmyeon to think with Jongin all over him like this; hell, he could barely concentrate on washing the dishes properly. "Uh, Yifan used to call me bunny?" 

Jongin's ministrations pause as he recalls the name Yifan and remembers him too clearly for his liking. Junmyeon can feel the irritation at the simple mention of his ex and regrets bringing him up. 

"Sorry..." he apologizes sheepishly, "I couldn't think of anything else." 

"Leave those for later," Jongin gestures to the dishes, "turn around Junmyeon." 

Junmyeon is confused but listens anyway, using the hand towel to quickly dry them off before turning back to his lover. "Wouldn't it just be easier if I-" 

He's cut off by harsh lips and nipping teeth, the possessive nature in Jongin awakening and taking over. Junmyeon can't hold back a moan as he accepts the kiss and gasps as Jongin's teeth catch his bottom lip. It pulls another moan from him, he refuses to claim the pitchy sound as his own. 

"What kind of nickname is _ bunny _ ?" Jongin mutters into his lips as he leaves a series of rough pecks on them. "You don't wanna be _ his _ bunny, right, Junmyeon? You wanna be _ Oppa’s _ baby, don't you? You wanna be my baby, Myeonnie?" 

Junmyeon whimpers. "Yes, Oppa, only your baby." 

Jongin hums as he pushes a hand through Junmyeon's hair. "That's right, baby, you're only mine." Another rough kiss is planted on his lips. "All mine to do as I please." 

"Nini Oppa," Junmyeon whines, reaching his hand up and gripping his bicep. "Don't tease me," he even stomps his feet like a child.

Jongin squints at Junmyeon and brings up his hand so he's holding Junmyeon's jaw. "You're a fucking brat. Thinking you can talk to me like that." He releases his jaw and pushes away from him roughly. "Turn around and bend over the counter."

Junmyeon pouts but turns and bends over the counter obediently. He rests his forearms on the counter and bites his lip, attempting to look over his shoulder to see what Jongin's doing. 

"What a stupid little cockslut," Jongin pulls down Junmyeon's sweat pants, letting Junmyeon's hard on catch between his stomach and the counter as well as watching how his ass bounces a bit from the sudden movement. "Only good for one thing and that's taking dick." He smacks his boyfriend's ass hard. 

Junmyeon cries out in pain, his body moving forward at the hit. He grips the counter and bites his lip. "O-Oppa..."

"Since you're new to this, I'll only spank you five times." Jongin starts, smirking. "Starting now. This is your punishment, baby, so if you're good for me then I'll reward you. Count and thank me, Junmyeon." 

The first spank isn't too bad and Junmyeon does as he's asked, "One, t-thank you, Oppa." 

The second one gets him, causes him to hiss and moan in pain as he pants against the counter. "Two...thank you, Oppa." 

Number three is even harder and hurts more than the second one. He rolls his lips in his mouth, pushing his forehead against the countertop, groaning louder than before. Tears push at his eyes as he feels the skin smarting. "Three, thank you..." 

Four has him yelping and clutching at the edge of the counter. The tears start falling, his mouth open as harsh pants fall through his lips. "Uh..." Junmyeon's trying his best to think, but with the pressure of trying to be a good boy for his boyfriend, he's able to work through the pain. "Four, thank you, Oppa." 

"One more, baby, just one more. You can do this." A tender kiss is placed on his shoulder blade and Junmyeon relaxes in preparation for the last slap. 

The last one delivered is quick and deliberate, but definitely the one that hurt the most. Junmyeon basically screams at the intense flash of pain on his bottom. He pants as a couple tears roll down, but he reins in his thoughts enough to mutter a "Five, thank you."

Jongin turns him around and pulls him into his arms, holding his face as Junmyeon's eyes give a slight far away look. "You did so good, my baby, so, so good for Oppa. You're Oppa's good boy, aren't you?" 

Junmyeon can only nod his agreement, leaning heavily on Jongin. His bottom hurts and starts throbbing, but he smiles through the pain, not wanting to worry Jongin. "O-Oppa." 

"You're such a good boy, Myeonnie. My baby is so good to me..." Jongin kisses his cheek and turns him around so he’s on the counter again. He works his way down Junmyeon's body, smoothing his palm over his ass. "Oppa only punishes brats so be good for me, okay, baby?" He presses a gentle kiss to his red bottom. "You can do that for me, you can be a good boy for Oppa, right, Jun?" 

"Y-yes, I-I'll be a g-good boy..." Junmyeon hums, resting his head on his arm as he feels Jongin's lips caressing the tender skin of his ass. 

Jongin pushes apart the plush cheeks and smirks as he looks at Junmyeon's hole, clenching desperately for anything to fill it. "Look at that, baby, look at this greedy asshole." Junmyeon whines desperately. "So demanding, my baby is so demanding." Jongin sticks a finger in his mouth and coats it in his own saliva, and without warning Junmyeon, he plunges the finger inside. 

Junmyeon's toes curl against the tile of the kitchen floor, a surprised mewl torn from his throat. "Please, Oppa, please." He begs even though he's unsure as to what he's begging for.

Jongin smirks as he pushes the finger inside as far as he can, wiggles and brushes around the warm, clenching walls. Junmyeon's going crazy because of the single digit, and Jongin has to remind himself that he's pretty sensitive seeing as he's still new to these types of sensations. "Please, what, Jun?" 

"P-Please...please more..." he begs, pushing his hips back against Jongin's finger. 

Instead of shoving another finger alongside the first one like Junmyeon expected, a hot, wet tongue laves itself over the puckered hole with the finger still in it. Junmyeon keens and feels his knees buckle, holding onto the edge of the counter for dear life. The tongue starts to wiggle it's way inside, right next to the finger, and moves as much as it's allowed. 

Junmyeon's hips buck back into Jongin's face, but his shaky movements are stopped by a single, bruising grip on his waist. Junmyeon whines but doesn't say anything for fear of Jongin stopping because Junmyeon did not want Jongin to stop. 

The tongue and finger thrust in tandem, caressing Junmyeon's constricting walls. Both eventually reach far enough to brush Junmyeon's prostate and Junmyeon feels like he's pushing on the edge of sanity. 

Jongin's sure that Junmyeon could probably be trained to cum just like this if he keeps at it long enough. He pulls out his tongue and finger, collecting enough spit to coat three of his own fingers, before he's thrusting back into a needy Junmyeon. 

"You taste so good, Jun," Jongin comments and Junmyeon moans at the mere thought of Jongin's tongue tasting him as much as he can. "You're moaning like a whore, wonder how long it'll take to get you moaning like the little cockslut I know you are." 

The dirty talk was killing Junmyeon, he could barely take the touches, how is he supposed to take the humiliation? He blushes cheeks to chest and he's heaving as Jongin's fingers ram inside of him ruthlessly. His dick throbs with the need to cum and he tries to move his hips back against the digits, but he's stilled with a growl. 

"I'll punish you again, don't test me, Myeon. Stay still." The order and authority in Jongin's voice is enough to tell Junmyeon that he's not playing around, so he stills with a whimper. 

"O-Oppa, I need...I need to cum, please." Junmyeon bites his bottom lip as the embarrassment and shame of his words sink in deep, however, he's too desperate to recognize it and stop himself from saying it. 

Jongin wants to test his limits, but he knows it's more risky if he hasn't spoken with Junmyeon beforehand, so he keeps it to himself at the moment. "You're gonna cum on my fingers alone, Junmyeon. Is that clear?" 

Junmyeon whines in protest. "No, I-I need more." 

The movement is halted altogether and Junmyeon cries because the stimulation is too little to make him feel as good as he wants to. "Did you just say _ no _ to me, baby?" 

It's dead silent, Junmyeon worrying his bottom lip at the sound of Jongin's thrilling, yet bone-chillingly calm voice. The voice is scary, there's a steel edge to it and Junmyeon doesn't know what it means. 

"I asked you a question, Junmyeon. Did you just tell me no?" Jongin's fingers pull out of his hole as he asks again. 

"Y-yes, I-I did." Junmyeon stutters out, gulping nervously. 

A harsh slap is delivered to his tender ass cheeks. Junmyeon jolts forward, cries out at the unexpected hit, tears filling out his eyes as he feels the red hot glow of his butt. Despite the pain, his cock twitches, and Jongin notices. 

"You little brat, thinking you can tell me what to do." Jongin growls, leaning forward and speaking against his ear hotly. "You're so gonna get it." 

Junmyeon whines again. "No, no, Oppa, I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean it."

Another slap and more sharp pain. "Telling me no again? You must be some sort of pain slut, Myeon, if you have the balls to say that to me again."

"O-Oppa..." Junmyeon whines as tears leak from his eyes. 

"Talk to me, baby. Green to continue, yellow to slow down, red to stop. Give me a color." Jongin whispers soothingly, petting his boyfriend's hair back. 

Junmyeon takes a moment as he's panting, the tears sliding down slowly. “Um...y-yellow." He mutters gently, looking a bit sheepish because of his answer. 

"It's okay, baby, if you need to slow down, we can slow down. Don't think about me, think about you, Junmyeon. We will slow down if you need it, okay? Answer me, Jun." Jongin looks at him with wide eyes, making eye contact with Junmyeon and making sure he understood. 

"Okay..." Junmyeon whispers, staring back into Jongin's eyes. 

Jongin turns him around so that his back is now against the counter and his front is flush against his own. "Let's take a small break and if you're up to it after, we can continue." Junmyeon starts whining as his untouched hard on throbs. "I know, baby, I know, but I need to explain a couple things to you. I should've talked to you before this, but I got caught up with everything. I'll take care of you, babe, but after." 

Junmyeon pouts at Jongin and Jongin cups his face, pressing their lips together. It's messy, Junmyeon drools sometimes when he's out of it, but Jongin doesn't mind too much. He kisses Junmyeon, mashing their mouths together carelessly. Junmyeon must like it because he moans loudly into Jongin's mouth and Jongin hums appreciatively, holding Junmyeon's face firmly in his hands. 

When they pull away, Junmyeon's begging. "Please, Oppa, please, please, let's continue, I want to, I really want to. Green, green, let's go, let's start again, please." 

Jongin holds his face and calmly says, "Myeonnie. I promise, we'll continue after. Trust me, I would love to ravish you in all ways imaginable. But if we continue the way I think we're going, we need to talk." Junmyeon continues to pout at his boyfriend. "Stop pouting at me, baby." 

"But I wanna." Junmyeon whines, "It's uncomfortable." Jongin tugs Junmyeon's pants backup for him.

"I know, I know, just give me a couple minutes, okay, my baby? Okay?" Junmyeon huffs but nods, and Jongin smiles before pressing a kiss to his lips one last time. "So, I know you're interested in stuff like this, but we have to have ground rules, like how much you can take for punishment, if I go too far, what word you're going to use to make me stop, things like that." Jongin runs his thumb underneath Junmyeon's eye, caressing the apple of his cheek. 

"Like a...safeword?" Junmyeon asks. 

"Exactly, baby. Do you have one in mind?" Jongin replies, brushing a strand of hair behind his ear. 

Junmyeon ponders on the question for a bit. "...I don't know." 

"Think of a word that you wouldn't use at all unless absolutely necessary. A word far out that you wouldn't typically use during sex. Something that's short with not many syllables, that you can say quickly." Jongin attempts to help, staring down at Junmyeon's pretty eyes. 

"Benz." Junmyeon decides on, giving Jongin a small smile. 

Jongin furrows his eyebrows. "Benz? Like Mercedes Benz? I thought you would pick some sort of exotic animal or something...why Benz?" 

"Because I don't like the car, I think they're ugly, and because I'd rather you fucked me in the back of an Audi or something." Junmyeon speaks boldly, his cheeks red and his eyes a little hazy with lust. 

Jongin licks his lips and closes his eyes for a moment. "See, baby, when you tease me like that..." He shivers and sighs, "Watch, I'm gonna get that Audi and you're going to keep your promise." He kisses him to seal it, but pulls back before it can get too serious.

"Okay, for punishments, when I decide to punish you, do you know your limits?" Junmyeon shakes his head. "I didn't think so. From now on, when I punish you, I'm going to push a little bit more every time so we can find your limits. Is that okay, Myeonnie? Are you okay with that?" 

"Yeah, yeah we can do that." Junmyeon responds, running a hand through his hair. 

"If you ever want me to stop, you have two safewords. All I'm asking is that you remember the one you made up. Every now and then I'll pause and ask for your color to which you will respond with green, yellow, or red. And if you don't answer me, I'm going to assume red because we don't want any accidents." Jongin goes on to explain, "If I am to be your dominant, it's expected of me to keep you safe and make sure you enjoy and are pleasured as much as possible. If you have even the slightest concern, you talk to me about it. I don't care if I'm balls deep inside of you, I will stop, if you use the safeword. Are we clear?"

Junmyeon nods. "Yes, Jongin." He replies obediently. 

"Good. I want you to know that you have total control over what we do. I may tell you what to do or what not to do, but overall, you have the final say on if we do something or not or if we even continue at all." Jongin leans forward and kisses him. "For this to work, I need you to completely trust me and to always be honest, okay?"

"Of course, I trust you. And I'll be more honest, I promise, Nini." Junmyeon says after the kiss and leans into Jongin's hand resting on his cheek. 

Jongin looks at his boyfriend and smiles with a small, huffy laugh. "You're so good to me, Junmyeon. I just want to return it."

"Always," Junmyeon whispers back, turning his head to press a delicate kiss to the palm of his hand. "Now kiss me." He demands and gives Jongin a lustful look. 

Jongin leans forward and claims Junmyeon's lips for himself. It's messy as he licks inside and maps out his mouth, swallowing Junmyeon's needy moans. "Listen to you..." he growls into Junmyeon's mouth, his hand firmly holding the base of his neck. "Moaning like a slut, and all for me." 

"J-just for you..." Junmyeon mewls out, desperate for Jongin's touch. He opens his eyes and watches as Jongin lets his dominant persona take over. 

"Hmm..." Jongin hums, "How cute are you, baby? Being so good for me, knowing who you belong to." Jongin smirks and ducks down again to connect their lips roughly. 

"I belong to Oppa. Only you, Oppa." Junmyeon loves it, loves the way Jongin's treating him, loves the way Jongin's manhandling him. He wants more. 

"I'm glad you know that now, but what about a few minutes ago? Do good boys say no to their Oppa? Did you forget that you were mine? Or did you know, and still decide to say no? To _ me _?" Jongin glares intensely. When no reply comes, Jongin scowls. "When I ask a question, you answer me, Junmyeon." 

Junmyeon whimpers and pouts, keeping his head down as he answers. "I knew and I still said no." 

Jongin sighs and Junmyeon can hear the disappointment. "Looks like someones been a bad boy. And what do bad boys get?" 

"Punishment." Junmyeon pouts as he glances up at Jongin. 

"At least you know that." Jongin comments. "Here's what gonna happen, first you’re going to suck me off and if you’re good, then I'm gonna bend you over and fuck you on this counter, you will not cum before I do and you will not cum until I give you permission. If I even give it to you." Jongin threatens.

Junmyeon whines but nods, knowing he deserves this. He feels his hard on straining against his sweat pants and licks his dry lips, waiting for whatever Jongin's gonna do next. 

"On your knees, baby." Junmyeon obeys and Jongin threads his fingers through Junmyeon's soft hair. He tugs a bit before bringing Junmyeon's face to the bulge in his boxers.

It's musky and smells like pure Jongin. Junmyeon can't hold back the low groan at the scent invading his nostrils. He's pressing in further and further just to smell, practically _taste_ it permeating in his mouth. He sticks his tongue out, the need to actually taste Jongin overwhelming. 

"Oh, my baby, you wanna taste?" Jongin asks as he pulls Junmyeon's head back before he could press his tongue to the fabric. 

"Y-yes, p-please, Oppa." Junmyeon answers, whimpering. 

Jongin smirks. "Smell..." And he's back to pressing Junmyeon into his crotch, "only smell." 

Junmyeon's being teased, he knows it, but he follows the orders. "Please, Oppa." He begs as he leans forward and smells Jongin's natural scent. It's delicious and has Junmyeon salivating on himself as he takes it in deep, allowing it to coat his lungs and become his new source of breathing.

Jongin chuckles as his thumb strokes lovingly along his jaw. "You're so cute, my baby Myeonnie. Okay, Oppa will give you his cock since you're so needy for it." 

Junmyeon greedily pushes down Jongin's boxers and grips his cock, listening as Jongin grunts. He opens his mouth and licks at the tip, getting every last drop of precum he can. His moans are lewd and he knows Jongin's going to comment. “You taste so good, Oppa." 

"Yeah, I can tell. I have you moaning for it like the slut you are." Jongin responds, taking his hard member and slapping it against Junmyeon's tongue. Junmyeon _ keens _ at the sinful action. 

Junmyeon leans forward and takes the length into his mouth as it's fed to him. He takes it until it hits the back of his throat, sucking and bobbing his head. He's feeling enthusiastic so he tries to push a bit further, but he's held back. 

"Baby, don't force it, take as much as you can, we'll work up to it later." Jongin tugs on his hair so he'll back off a bit, but what Jongin doesn't understand is that Junmyeon _ wants _ it, so _ bad _. 

Junmyeon pulls off completely. "Oppa," he's panting like a dog but he manages to get the words out between breaths, "I want you to choke me, I want you to gag me, I want you to use me because I'm yours." 

"Oh, Junmyeon, you're gonna kill me," Jongin groans, closing his eyes and tilting his head back before looking down at him, "are you sure you want that?" 

"Yes, Oppa, I really do want that. Please." Junmyeon replies, not whining but telling him. 

"If you want me to stop at all, at any time, or you're feeling unsure, tap my leg twice and I'll stop. Understood?" Jongin pushes his hair back and kisses the top of his head gently. 

Junmyeon blushes and gives Jongin a small smile. "Yes, Oppa, I understand." 

"Good boy," Jongin takes his length in his hand and Junmyeon opens his mouth. Junmyeon takes as much as he possibly can and makes sure to relax himself. "Are you ready, baby?" 

Junmyeon nods and stares up at Jongin as he starts thrusting. It's slow at first, and it takes some time for Jongin to build a gradually faster rhythm.

Junmyeon is gagging around the cock hitting the back of his throat faster than he's ever had and the sounds only make him want more. They're filthy and erotic and Junmyeon's cock aches at the noises, only managing to drive him even more insane. 

"God, baby, your mouth feels so, so good. You're such a good boy, my baby Junmyeonnie." Jongin grunts and groans as he fucks Junmyeon's mouth, building up speed so he was practically ramming and cramming himself down Junmyeon's throat.

Finally, he starts choking around Jongin's thick member, only allowing a few seconds of air in between each thrust. He inhales as much through his nose as he can. Junmyeon can feel the spit and precum sliding out of his mouth and down his chin. He's so turned on at the moment that it hurts. Tears were a threat before but now they're freely falling down his cheeks, mixing with all the other fluids on his face. 

For Jongin, the tight, constricting heat of Junmyeon's throat is about to send him over the edge. Junmyeon is being so good and all for _ him _, it's all getting to him, all the control he's been given by his boyfriend, it's going straight to his head and he's going to cum soon. He warns Junmyeon as much. 

"Myeonnie, baby, I-I'm going to cum." Jongin groans and tilts his head back, his eyes still on Junmyeon and narrowed into slits. 

That only encourages Junmyeon to try taking him deeper. It's so messy but Junmyeon's loving it more than anything at the moment. He gags and chokes and though it seems ugly, he knows Jongin is eating it up, the lewdness turning him on even more. 

Jongin's hips stutter and before Junmyeon can fully comprehend, Jongin is pulling out and pumping his cock furiously. Junmyeon watches Jongin's orgasm hit him like a tidal wave, watching as he grunts and groans loudly and arches his back. Meanwhile his load is shot all over Junmyeon's face, all across his cheeks, some in his mouth and some catching on the end of his lips, dripping down his chin. 

Junmyeon tastes and swallows, moaning to himself as he continues to watch Jongin. Jongin dips his head back down and looks at Junmyeon, watches him as he uses his finger to sweep more cum into his mouth, licking and swallowing all he can get. 

"I love you so much, baby." Jongin whispers as he wipes the cum onto a finger and puts it in Junmyeon's mouth. Junmyeon accepts it and closes his lips around the digit, sucking and licking his finger clean. 

Junmyeon slides the finger out of his mouth and makes a show of swallowing Jongin's cum. "Love you too, Oppa." 

Jongin opened his mouth to speak again, but he was interrupted by a knock on the door. His eyebrows furrow and he tucks himself away quickly, breaking out of his dominant persona. 

Junmyeon does the same, getting a napkin and wiping his face off. Jongin takes the napkin and does it for him. Junmyeon smiles and blushes a bit while lifting his head so he can wipe away everything that slid down his chin. He manages to pull sweats up as well. 

There's another knock and Junmyeon calls to the other person. "Just a minute!" 

"Are you expecting anyone, baby?" Jongin whispers to him. 

"No, I wasn't. Were you?" Junmyeon asks in replies, whispering as softly. 

Jongin throws the napkin away. "No, I don't really have people to invite over." 

Junmyeon hums. "Okay, stay here, I'll go see who it is." Junmyeon leans forward and gives Jongin a peck on the lips before heading over to the door. 

He looks through the peephole, but can't decipher who it is, the only hint being the mop of black curly hair. So he opens the door with furrowed brows, however, his whole face drops in shock and surprise as his eyes land on the last person he expected at the door. 

"Chanyeol?"

.

.

.

Chanyeol smiles widely and greets him. "Hey, Jun." 

"Um, hey, Yeol, uh, what are you doing here?" Junmyeon asks in disbelief but leans forward and embraces his friend. 

"I actually came here to see you...and Jongin." Chanyeol's smile turns sheepish as he pulls back from the hug. "I wanted to check up on you guys since it's been a hot minute."

Junmyeon's heart clenches and aches slightly. "I-I really appreciate that, Yeol, thanks for coming. Uh, come in, please! Would you like anything at all?" 

Chanyeol laughs and shakes his head. "No, I'm good thank you." 

"Okay. Give me a second," Junmyeon nods at him and heads towards their kitchen, "Jongin?" he looks around and finds he's nowhere to be seen. He sighs gently and walks down towards their shared bedroom. "Nini baby?" 

Jongin's head whips up as he looks at his boyfriend. His eyes, his dark eyes are swirling with anxiety and remorse; a heavy weighing guilt that Junmyeon feels the urge to lift off of him, to save him from. 

"Babe..." Junmyeon whispers as he gazes at Jongin with sadness. "I know you probably heard, Chanyeol is here, and he not only came to see me, but you too. What's wrong?" 

"I don't know if I can face him, I-I, I mean I basically tortured the poor guy with his _ ex-boyfriend _. I can't do it, Myeonnie, just hearing his voice, it was like-like natural instinct to flee to our room. Jun, I-I can't, baby, I can't." Jongin's breathing speeds up. 

Junmyeon slides over to Jongin, his hand on his boyfriend's back and rubbing calming circles. "Jongin, it's okay, alright? Please breath for me, nothing's going to get solved if you hyperventilate." He leans over and kisses Jongin's cheek. He stops rubbing circles and instead, reaches over with his other hand, cupping his face gingerly. "Jongin, Chanyeol...is a very, very nice person and I know it's hard to face your past, I would know," Junmyeon lets out bitter chuckles as Jongin's breathing slows, "you have to do it sooner or later, it'll really help with the healing process." 

Jongin closes his eyes and continues to take deep breaths, leaning into Junmyeon's hand. "Thank you, baby." 

Junmyeon chuckles softly. "Why are you thanking me, Nini?"

"For everything, for loving me, for staying with me despite-despite everything I did and how I am." Jongin lets out in one shaky breath. 

"I always believed in you, Jongin, and I always will. When I met you, I saw the person you could be and who you are. I don't regret it at all, Jongin. I love you too," Junmyeon kisses Jongin, it's a peck, but regardless, Junmyeon feels warmth rushing through his blood. 

Jongin smiles at Junmyeon. "I think I'm ready to go out there, baby."

"Okay," Junmyeon gives him one more kiss, before removing his hand and standing up, "let's go."

Jongin stands up and follows Junmyeon out the door, heading into their living room where Chanyeol is sitting on the couch and looking around. Chanyeol looks at them the moment he senses movement, giving a small, gentle smile. "Hey." 

Jongin gulps down his nerves. "Hey." 

Chanyeol glances down as he takes a breath, "I hope you don't mind, I kinda made myself at home." 

"No, no, of course not. You're welcome anytime. So, how is everyone?" Junmyeon replies, smiling brightly at Chanyeol. 

Chanyeol's grin splits on his lips. "Jongdae and Sehun are great. And-and I know that you and Sehun had some sort of...falling out, but he really does love you. He'll figure it out, he's just stubborn." Chanyeol takes a deep breath after feeling like he made it awkward. "Um, anyway, Minseok and Baekhyun are officially in the process of adoption, it shouldn't be too long with the ties they have. They worked it out so that they won't have as many jobs or they won't take them at the same time and when they need to, they'll drop the baby off with Sehun and I. They're really excited to be parents. Minseok was on the fence about it for a bit, but now that it's happening, they're both absolutely ecstatic." 

"Oh my gosh, that's so great!" Junmyeon exclaims, ignoring the slight ache in his heart. "Tell them to text a picture on adoption day."

Jongin says something under his breath and Junmyeon barely manages to catch the sound. "What was that, Jongin?" 

"I think you should be there," he speaks up with a bit more confidence but obvious reluctance, "for adoption day. I can stay, but you-you should go." He nods. 

Junmyeon smiles a soft smile. "Thanks, Jongin. I guess just...text the day before adoption day and I'll drive up there." 

Chanyeol nods. "Of course, Jun." He glances down and takes a deep breath, looking at Jongin this time instead of Junmyeon. "So, Jongin, how are you?" He gives a polite smile. 

Jongin is timid, but eventually finds his voice. "I'm...okay, I guess. Junmyeon is helping me get better and I'm going to therapy, trying to get better. Maybe I shouldn't say okay, it's more like I'm heading towards okay." 

"Good, good. I'm really glad to hear that." Chanyeol smiles and it's genuine and bright. Jongin feels he shouldn't have received it.

"Uh, how are you after...everything? I know it must be hard for you, especially what I put you through." Jongin responds. Junmyeon feels the vulnerability in his voice, placing a hand on his boyfriend's thigh. 

Chanyeol tilts his head. "It's fine, things have been pretty normal except Sehun has been seeing a therapist. I'm okay, I just talked it out with Jongdae and I'm not as traumatized since I’ve had Seoyoon do this before." 

Jongin hangs his head. "I'm-I'm really sorry about that. I've realized that I-" 

"J-Jongin, really, I have already come to terms with everything. I accept your apology, appreciate your remorse, and forgive you. I haven't forgotten, but I have forgiven you. And-and I want you to know that I understand. You weren't doing it for the hell of it, you were hurt, really hurt; not an excuse for you to do what you did, but I've been hurt too, and I remember the times that I wanted to get back at the person who hurt me." Chanyeol gives a sheepish smile and shakes his head. "Sorry, I'm rambling now. But yeah, I get it. And you're forgiven so please don't feel too bad." 

Jongin takes a couple moments to himself, but Junmyeon doesn't actually see the tears till he feels Jongin jostle a bit. A couple fall and catch on his cheek to stream down. Junmyeon's so surprised, he can't react. 

"Oh my gosh, I totally didn’t mean to make you cry, I-" Chanyeol starts apologizing quickly. 

"No, no, don't apologize. These tears aren't bad, I just...I don't deserve it, if anything I deserve to be in prison or dead. No one other than Junmyeon has ever believed in me, has ever forgiven me despite how bad the pain I caused them was." Jongin shakily breaths, his eyes filling with unshed tears and his tone almost disbelieving. "I mean for god's sake, Chanyeol, how are you ‘not that traumatized’? I-I used your-your ex to get to you, I-I allowed him to beat you up and call you all those things. I pretended to be your friend, and I lied to you. I don't deserve your forgiveness, I don't deserve any of it! Not yours, not Junmyeon's. I was a cruel person, and I may be changing and improving now, but that will never make up for what I put all of you through." Jongin's tone is angry, but the anger isn't directed towards anyone but himself. 

Chanyeol sighs before letting out a little chuckle. "Jongin, I let it go and moved forward because I understood. I think you will live with these regrets forever, but you need to forgive yourself. I never knew your story, but from the pain in your eyes, I think all you ever needed was love, and forgiveness. You are human, and again, I'm not excusing your actions or cruelty, but I want you to know that I understand what it was. 

"Jongdae was the only one that ever loved you, before Junmyeon. That's why you took it so hard when he left. That's all I know from the situation, but it's enough to know that there are some factors that led you down this path. And you're very lucky because you have the most amazing person beside you to help you off that path.

"I don't want you to hurt, even with what you did to me, I don't wish it upon you at all. From your display so far, I've seen that you have been hurting. Hopefully, I'm taking some of it away. Not only do I want to forgive you, but I want you to forgive yourself. You'll regret what you did until the day you die, but you can forgive yourself. You deserve that much." Chanyeol stares him dead in the eyes and nods along to what he's saying so that Jongin knows he's dead serious. 

Junmyeon and Chanyeol allow him a couple minutes to breath and collect himself. Jongin takes the time to let the words sink in and really processes them before speaking up again. "I know this is somewhat of a long shot..." he starts quietly, trailing off and clearing his throat as he forces the next words out, "but, do you think we could ever be f-friends? I know it may be a bit much to ask but-" 

"I would love to get to know the real you, Jongin. I think with time and honesty, we can become friends." Chanyeol grins at him, this one just as genuine as the last. 

And this time, Jongin returns it. 

.

.

.

It's a couple hours before Chanyeol leaves, said he had to get home in time enough to meet Sehun and Jongdae. 

In lieu of lounging on the couch, they relax on the bed. It's quiet as Jongin stares at the ceiling, Junmyeon having long since closed his eyes for a nap. Jongin's arm is around Junmyeon and his fingertips lightly dance over the pale skin of his arm. Junmyeon's head rests on him, his cheek squished against his arm and his forehead touching his shoulder. 

Junmyeon opens his eyes after dozing off for a good chunk of time. He gazes at Jongin's side profile, his face relaxed and sharp features standing out. 

"What?" Jongin's word is barely audible, not wanting to fracture the fragile silence. 

Junmyeon's lips quirk at the fact that he'd been caught staring. "Nothing. You're just really nice to look at." 

He sees the twitch in Jongin's lips as he holds back a smile. "Oh really? I bet that's not all you're thinking, your brain is always running a mile a minute." 

"Well, I'm also thinking about earlier with Chanyeol and how insanely proud you made me today." Junmyeon replies in a soft murmur. "You went in there and faced him, you were remorseful and regretful, and those don't sound good, but they are. It shows me that you truly do have a soul. You acknowledged what happened, it takes some serious bravery to do that. You even offered to explain the Jongdae situation and took complete responsibility for your actions. You _ admitted _ that you were wrong. God, I just-I love you so much, Jongin." 

Jongin's head turns so their eyes connect. His eyes glitter and shine as he stares at Junmyeon with utter adoration and love. "I love you too, Junmyeon. All I'll ever want is to be the absolute best for you." He presses a tender, fond kiss to his forehead. 

"You're already all I could ever wish for, Nini." Junmyeon relishes the kiss. "Do you think if everyone else came over, you could talk to them just like you did with Chanyeol?" 

"I'm not sure, but I'd do it if you really want me to. Chanyeol is different from everyone else, he's got a big heart. Honestly, he still shouldn't have forgiven me even if he did understand, but he gives me hope. He helped me get over it just a bit more. I still hate myself over this, but maybe if I face the rest of them, it won't be too bad." Jongin replies. 

Junmyeon turns the rest of his body and scoots closer. "Have you ever truly loved yourself, Nini?" 

Jongin laughs at that question, he finds it rather silly of Junmyeon to ask. "When have I ever found the time to love myself? After what I did, I don't think I could ever love myself. I barely get why you love me, how could I ever look at myself the way you look at me?" 

Junmyeon sighs as he brings a hand up, running his thumb over the skin of his cheek gently. "You wanna know why I love you?" Jongin shrugs, but Junmyeon continues. "I love you because you take care of me, you treat me well, you always look at me like I hung the stars in the sky, you tell me you love me and you show it, you're trying to change for me, you kiss me like it's the end of the world even if it's just a small peck before I leave for work, you-you fuck me the way I want it and always make me feel so good, you make me love me more. You see, Jongin, there's all these things that you do that make me love you more than anyone can ever love anyone else. I don't know how you don't see it." 

Jongin smiles. "I'm only treating you the way you deserve to be treated. You deserve all of it, every single thing that's good in this world is what you deserve. I want to give that to you, Myeonnie, every single day. How can I not love you?" 

"You know, when we first met, I truly knew that it was love at first sight." Junmyeon recalls with love shining clear in his eyes. "But I had doubts. Like, how can some hot guy that has so much confidence love or even like someone as dorky and unattractive as me?" 

"Hey! Don't talk about yourself like that. You are the cutest person alive, and I love how dorky you are with your old man clothes and your nerdy hacking. You are nowhere near unattractive, I mean it. Baby, you're one of the sexist people I've ever been with, your mind and your body. You're too adorable, and you can be hot when you really want to." Jongin's eyebrows are pinched as he reassures his boyfriend of his looks and personality. 

Junmyeon smiles softly. "You really think I'm-wait, did you say I dress like an old man?" His eyes squint in a glare as the smile slips off. 

"Did I say old man?" Jongin asks with a teasing lilt in his voice. "I meant old lady." 

Junmyeon gasps and smacks Jongin on his chest. "It's called being sophisticated, excuse you." 

"If it's sophistication from Kohls maybe," Jongin snorts, getting hit again by Junmyeon. "But it's okay, babe, because I love you and your old lady fashion." 

"What are you now? The fashion police?" Junmyeon huffs with a pout forming. 

Jongin smirks. "Only if I get to use real handcuffs on you." His tone is suggestive and sultry as he gives Junmyeon a once over. 

Junmyeon blushes. "No, that's not fair, you can't make this sexual, I won't allow it." 

Before he realizes what happened, Junmyeon finds himself on his stomach with Jongin three fingers deep inside him. With his other hand, Jongin pins his hands behind his back. "Be good for Oppa and he'll let you come, baby." 

Junmyeon moans into the comforter and bucks back into his hand, nodding his head along with Jongin's words. "Oppa, please." He whines, digging his face further into the blankets.

Jongin pulls his fingers out and unzips his jeans, Junmyeon feeling his cock twitch at the sudden noise. "You want Oppa's cock, don't you, baby?" He leans down and whispers sensually.

"Mhmm, yes, Oppa. Please give it to me." Junmyeon begs shamelessly, not even noticing the flush his cheeks take on. 

"You have been such a good boy for me, haven't you? You're my good boy, Junmyeonnie." Jongin teasingly rubs his engorged tip against Junmyeon's winking hole. He's attempting to suck him in, but failing as he can only get the slick of the lube and precum slathered all over it. 

"Please, Oppa, please, I'll be so good for you." Junmyeon pleads with his boyfriend.

Jongin planks over him, kissing and nipping ferociously. "Okay, baby, I'll give it to you." And with that, he slips inside and bottoms out. 

Junmyeon cries out and clutches at the bed sheets as he feels Jongin pull out and push back in. "Oppa!" He calls for him while he feels his cock brushing against the bed. 

Jongin slides his hand down his arm and laces their hands together. "Oh, you feel so good, my baby, so, so good." He groans into his ear, pistoning his hips so the slap is audible and he's railing into Junmyeon's prostate. 

"O-oppa, please! Please let me cum, I want to so bad." He whimpers as he pants, the cock buried inside him making him babble and feel like his brain is melting with pleasure. 

"Not yet," Jongin growls as he continues to nail Junmyeon into next Tuesday.

Junmyeon moans at the attention Jongin is giving his prostate, clawing the mattress with the hand not squeezing the life out of Jongin's hand. "Please, Oppa." 

"Stupid slut, when I tell you you're not coming, you're not coming." Jongin whispers harshly into his ear, starting to move his hips even faster. 

"Please, I-I love you, Oppa." Junmyeon whines out, pushing his hips out in time with Jongin's thrusts. 

Jongin removes his hand from Junmyeon's and shoves it in Junmyeon's hair, tugging his head back till his neck is stretched taut and he’s whimpering at the tight grasp. "Oh, you love me? Of course you love me, baby. I dick you down so good, you can't not love me." He says erotically and Junmyeon's eyes roll back. 

Junmyeon's eyes collect tears until they push over the edge and forcefully make a trail through the patches of red on his cheeks. "Oppa, h-harder, faster please." 

Jongin's grip leaves his hair and his head flops back onto the mattress pathetically. "How selfish of you, Myeonnie, only chasing your own pleasure. What about me? Huh? Don't you wanna make me feel good too, baby?" 

Junmyeon hums. "Y-yes, Oppa, wanna make you f-feel so good." His brows furrow as he clenches his hole as tightly as possible one, two, three times. It successfully pulls out a moan from Jongin. 

Jongin pulls out completely and Junmyeon protests loudly. Jongin shushes him with a filthy kiss on the lips and a hand around his neck. It's tight, not tight enough to cut off air, but tight enough to have him submit and quiet down. 

"If you really wanna make me feel good, do it, make your Oppa feel good, baby." Jongin responds to his whines as he lays on his back and pulls Junmyeon on top of him. 

Junmyeon nods obediently and lines Jongin's heavy cock with his hole, sinking down with a cry. "Oppa, please." He begs and starts to ride Jongin like his life depends on it. 

His hole clenches around him in a spastic rhythm, Junmyeon leaning forward and placing his hands on Jongin's chest to ride faster. He slams himself down and finds that Jongin sinks deeper inside of him which makes him moan like a bitch in heat. The new angle allows him to hit his prostate every time and bounce harder than before. 

Jongin's affected as well, the arousal taunting him as Junmyeon plows himself. It's also the sex faces, Junmyeon simply looks erotically sinful on top of Jongin, turning him on even more. He's so hard for Junmyeon and tells him as much. 

"You're so beautiful, baby, so beautiful for a slut. So beautiful for a toy that's used for my pleasure only. If you can keep up this pace, then you can cum." Jongin says. 

Junmyeon whines as he's already feeling the burning sensation in his thighs for keeping up the pace for so long already. But he disregards it as he feels his orgasm building up. If anything, he starts moving even faster so he can cum, no matter how much it burns. 

It only takes a couple more bounces before Junmyeon asks again just to make sure in a higher-pitched, whiny voice, "Oppa, can I please cum?" 

Jongin hasn't seen him slow down a bit so he stares at Junmyeon before sighing and replying with, "Cum for me, baby."

Junmyeon goes faster, opening his mouth in a silent scream as the string in the pit of his stomach snaps and he is pushed off the edge of ecstasy. He cries out as Jongin's firm grasp on his waist forces him to ride out his orgasm on his dick. "Oppa!" He whimpers as he feels himself moving up and down on Jongin's cock and oversensitivity attacking his thighs and insides. 

"Come on, baby, you gotta keep riding until I cum. I'm almost there, Myeonnie." Jongin encourages and despite the pain, he does it for his Oppa because he's a good boy. 

Junmyeon feels his cock twitching back to life as he keeps going, moaning and sniffling at the same time. "Oppa, p-please tell me you love me." He begs, biting his bottom lip as he ignores the intense tingling sensation that seems relative to pain. 

Jongin hums and smirks. "Make me cum and I'll think about it." 

Junmyeon obeys and even clenches around him until his own cock starts flushing with blood once more. Jongin, after Junmyeon bouncing hard for a couple more minutes, cums inside of him, painting his walls and marking him like he wanted. But Junmyeon continues to cry as he feels vulnerable and cold. 

Jongin orgasms but it's over quickly as he assesses Junmyeon's current state. Jongin rolls them over and slips out of him, putting a reassuring weight over him. "Hey, hey, Junmyeonnie, my baby, what's the matter? Why are you crying?" 

Junmyeon sniffles and speaks through his crying. "Y-you didn't say it back." 

"Say what back? What did I do, baby, tell me, please." It's soft, but nonetheless a command. 

"Y-you didn't say you loved me." Junmyeon's voice breaks and he whimpers before letting more tears slip out. 

"Oh, baby, you know it was just all a part of the act right? You know that, baby, you know I truly love you more than anything else in the entire world." Jongin replies, pushing sweaty hair away from his forehead so he could stare into his eyes deeply. "You're my baby, Junmyeonnie, and you're mine. Only mine. I love you too much to ever let you even think about someone else." 

"R-really?" Junmyeon stutters and pouts up at Jongin. 

Jongin smiles and plants a gentle kiss on his baby's lips. "Of course, Myeonnie. I," _ kiss _ ," love," _ kiss _ ," you" _ kiss _. He murmurs into his mouth, each emphasized with a kiss. 

Junmyeon giggles and wraps his arms around Jongin's neck, hugging him to his chest. He doesn't even mind the drying cum on both of their stomachs. "I love you too, Oppa." 

"Oppa loves his good boy so much." Jongin says, nuzzling his head into Junmyeon's neck as he reaches for the pack of wipes he set out earlier for this particular moment. He snatches it and rolls to the side, cleaning both their bodies of the sticky fluid and using another wipe to clear Junmyeon's face of sweat. After that, he uses his finger to tilt his chin up and plant a solid, firm kiss on his already kiss-swollen lips. 

"I'm sorry I got so...sensitive, I just felt so _ exposed _, I guess. I-I'm not sure." Junmyeon worries his bottom lip as he replies. 

Jongin shakes his head. "No, it's okay, baby, it happens. I should've noticed before it got so bad. I'm sorry I let it happen, baby, I'm so sorry." Jongin caresses his hair back and presses a loving, apologetic kiss on his forehead. 

Junmyeon rubs at his puffy eyes. "It's fine." 

"No, it's not fine. As your dominant, I should see these things and make sure that it doesn't get to this point." Jongin speaks and guilt leaks into his tone. 

Junmyeon frowns. "No, Jongin, we-we haven't been intimate for very long, there's no way to know how I would react. Please don't be so hard on yourself. Let's...let's just take this as a lesson for both of us, okay? Now we know." Junmyeon moves forward and leans up so that their foreheads are touching. 

"My baby," Jongin whispers, leaning his own forehead on Junmyeon's and holding his face. "You're perfect, and so, so beautiful. I love you so much, Junmyeon, more than you will ever know." 

Junmyeon closes his eyes and smiles. "I love you too, Jongin." 

.

.

.

Adoption day comes sooner than Junmyeon ever would've expected. He knocks on the door and Baekhyun opens it, greeting him like he did when he visited a while ago when Minseok was in jail. 

"Junmyeon?!" Baekhyun's eyes were wide and his mouth fell open. 

Junmyeon smiles at his shocked expression. "Hey, Baekhyun." 

Baekhyun smiles and steps back, allowing Junmyeon more room to come inside. "Are you here for the adoption?" At Junmyeon's nod, he asks, "Wait...but how did you know?" 

"Um, Chanyeol stopped by a couple weeks before and invited me. I really wanted to see the baby." Junmyeon replies, biting his bottom lip to contain his enthusiastic smile. 

Baekhyun scoffs. "I can't believe that big oaf! He lied to me. He told me you couldn't make it." He closes the door behind Junmyeon and pulls him in for a hug. 

"Speaking of Chanyeol, is everyone else already here?" Junmyeon questions as he's squeezed as tightly as humanly possible. 

"Not yet. They're bringing our baby here at around one, so they should be here soon. It's already twelve-thirty." Baekhyun speaks with an uncontainable smile, his eyes filling with fondness and love at the mere mention of his and Minseok's new baby. 

"Awe, I'm so glad you and Minseok are doing this. You guys are gonna be great parents and I honestly can't wait to be an uncle." Junmyeon reaches for Baekhyun's hands and holds them tightly.

"You're going to be the best uncle for him, you really will be. Little Taehyung is going to love you, just as much as we love you, Jun." Baekhyun looks like he's close to tears and Junmyeon can understand. He's not even the one adopting the baby and he feels like he could cry out of happiness. 

Junmyeon tugs Baekhyun over to his living room and sits them both down on the couch. "So, how did you two even get this far? Tell me everything." In the other room, Junmyeon could hear movement and assumed it was Minseok. 

Baekhyun sighs and gives a small, fond smile as he begins retelling. "Well, I...I just had this phase, like I kept looking around and seeing almost everyone with a baby. I thought I was going crazy and when I told Minseok, he told me I had baby fever. When I was younger, I always wanted to have children, but it only grew and at this point in my life, I guess I just felt more-more ready. I wanted a baby so bad. I knew I could never have one physically, so adopting was the next best thing.

"One day, I was relaxing and Minseok went out to run a couple errands. Before I knew it, Minseok came home and he was holding a baby." Baekhyun chuckles, tears starting to well up a bit. "He said that the baby is ours for a month because the adoption agency gives you a month trial like thing with them before you decide if you keep them or not. Oh, he was so beautiful, Junmyeon. It wasn't even long before I started recognizing him as _ my _ baby. It's insane. We did the month with this agency, said yes, and they do this thing where they keep the baby with them until all the paperwork is finished and then on adoption day, they bring the baby and his adoption certificate." 

Junmyeon is giddy and practically bouncing in his spot. "Oh my gosh, Baek, that's so great, I'm so happy for you guys." 

Baekhyun laughs with him and wipes at the tear that escapes. "Thank you. I've never wanted something more in my life. And this is definitely one of the best days of my life, right up there with marrying Minseok."

"I bet it is. Congrats, Baek, you're gonna be a father." Junmyeon pulls Baekhyun in for another hug. 

There's a knock on the door and the two separate as Minseok comes into the room to get the door. He stops by the couch to greet his brother and plant a loving kiss on Baekhyun's lips with a smile, moving over to open the door for their friends (technically the rest of the family). 

Jongdae walks in while smiling at Minseok. "Hey, Hyung, how's it going?" 

Minseok greets him with a smirk of his own. "Pretty good so far." 

"Hi, Minseok-Hyung." Chanyeol greets with a big smile of his own. 

"Hey, Hyung." Junmyeon can hear Sehun say quietly. 

Minseok ushers them to the living room. Sehun stops in shock once his eyes meet Junmyeon's. "What the hell is he doing here?" It stings, Sehun's words sting more than Junmyeon could've ever imagined. 

Jongdae gives him a scolding look. "Now that's no way to talk to Junmyeon, Sehun." 

Sehun scoffs. "Please, give me a break." He rolls his eyes in annoyance. 

"It's okay, Jongdae." Junmyeon forces a small smile. "I'm here because I wanna witness the adoption of my nephew." He simply explains to Sehun. 

“No, it’s not okay, Junmyeon.” Jongdae said, looking at Sehun. “Sehun, I expect you to be more civil despite your feelings towards Junmyeon.” 

Sehun scoffs in disbelief, his eyes landing on Jongdae and expressing his incredulity. “Why are you even protecting him, Dae? He’s literally together with the guy that tried to kill me and Yeol and _ you _. How can you trust him?!” 

“Junmyeon is not the one that tried to hurt us, and he’s here for a reason, isn’t he? Do you really think he’d be here if Minseok and Baekhyun didn’t trust him? Come on, Sehunnie, be more reasonable. Junmyeon’s trustworthy, he’s always been loyal to me and to you. You know him better than I do, baby, and I trust Minseok and Baekhyun’s judgement.” Jongdae says, trying to get his boyfriend to understand. 

Sehun’s huffy and hesitant, he’s unsure how to answer Jongdae so he ignores his boyfriend and turns to Junmyeon with a question. "Is _ he _ here with you?" Jongdae sighs but lets him get away with it for now.

Junmyeon shakes his head. "No, he stayed home." 

"Whatever," Sehun whispers and then proceeds to sit as far as he possibly can from Junmyeon.

They're all situated on the couch, Jongdae conversing with Chanyeol while Sehun interacts with Baekhyun and Minseok catches up with Junmyeon. It's not long before a short rapping against the door grabs their attention and Minseok is popping up off the couch to get it.

"Hello, Taeyeon-nim." Minseok starts politely, inviting her in. He shows her the way to the living room, everyone else watching in anticipation as she walks in with an eight month old baby on her hip and a file in hand. Taeyeon sits down and places the little kid on her lap, the baby's eyes brightening at the familiar place. 

"Well, hello, everyone. I see you two wanted this to be a celebration, as such calls for." She smiles brightly and takes a look at the baby. "And it seems Taehyung here is also very excited for today." She chuckles sweetly. "Minseok-ssi, please hold him for a quick minute while I get the paperwork." 

Minseok gladly swoops in and takes their baby, smiling and cooing at him. "Hi, Taetae. My little baby," The baby presses his hand into Minseok's cheek, laughing as he situates himself into his rightful place. 

"Alright, gentlemen, let's get this going." She opens her file and slips out sheets of paper. "Baekhyun-ssi, Minseok-ssi, please come over here." 

"Of course." Baekhyun replies, taking the pen she's holding out towards him. 

"Let me exchange him for this, Minseok-ssi." Taeyeon hands Minseok a pen and Minseok gives Taehyung back to her, the baby fussing and protesting as he wanted to be held by Minseok. "It's okay, Taehyung," she calms him down temporarily, "you'll be right back in his arms in a couple minutes." 

Baekhyun smiles at little Taehyung's antics, laughing as he takes a look over the papers laid out on the table. "Okay, so what do we have here?"

"This first paper you see says that you can afford to provide and continually provide for Taehyung. Both signatures in three places, the x's with lines following." Taeyeon explains. "Second paper asks a couple personal questions like godparents, contacts for the child, consent for Taehyung's birth parents to visit if they want and meet the requirements. The third paper is a recognition of adoption and responsibility over this child's life. After we get through all of these, I will sign the last paper after looking over the previous three and then you will sign it and all will be well and in the records in no time. And Taehyung here will be all yours." She ends with a happy smile. 

Baekhyun and Minseok nod as they start on the paperwork, reading over it carefully and signing where needed. "Uh, Jongdae, Chanyeol, and Sehun, we agreed you would be the godparents, correct?" Baekhyun asks, looking up at them and making sure they agreed to their previous conversations. 

Jongdae nods and smiles. "Yes, unnecessarily so, Baek." 

Baekhyun rolls his eyes with a not-so-well hidden smile. He writes their names down, writes down their contact information as well. "Um, Junmyeon, if those three are unable, you don't mind being the backup do you?" 

"Not at all." Junmyeon responds with a small smile of his own. 

Minseok marks ‘no’ for consent to Taehyung's birth parents, knowing it's selfish, but not wanting his child to meet his parents unless he's over the age of eighteen and can make his own decisions, as clearly stated in the text. 

"Oh!" Taeyeon exclaims suddenly. "Minseok-ssi, I have a question for you. Just something quick, nothing to really worry about unless it's a worst situation." 

Minseok's face shifts into confusion. "Okay. What is it?"

"We saw that you were arrested in a bar and questioned. What got you in there?" Taeyeon asks. 

"It was self-defense, I had to shoot someone that shot at me. If you want I can show you my gun license, I only keep it around for protection, I swear." Minseok responds. 

Taeyeon nods. "All I'll need from you is a scanned copy of the license, a signature on a separate document I can print here really quickly, and everything will be in tip top shape." 

"Of course. I'll finish signing these and then we'll get right to the other stuff." With that, he signs after Baekhyun, trusting his husband has read through it and made sure everything is clearly stated. 

Minseok walks out of the room once he connects Taeyeon's phone to the printer, printing out the sheet and making a scanned copy to send to Taeyeon's email and the printed out version. He reads through it, signs the paper, and walks right back into the room, handing them to her. She takes a look at the signature and physical copy before smiling widely. "That's it then." 

Taeyeon stands up and crouches down to sign the last paper as Taehyung's social worker before letting Minseok and Baekhyun sign it. She checks over the paper and takes a deep breath. "Well, Taehyung, it looks like you've got your forever home." 

Baekhyun and Minseok cheer, the rest on the couch cheering for them as well. Chanyeol gets up and goes to the kitchen to retrieve cake and apple cider, knowing they shouldn't have alcohol around the child just after the adoption. 

Baekhyun kisses Minseok square on the lips and Minseok hugs his waist as Taeyeon hands Taehyung over to the new parents. Baekhyun holds his new baby, kissing him on the head as the child snuggles into his arms. Baekhyun is basically balling at this point, Minseok trying his best to calm him down despite the few tears racing down his face. 

Taeyeon stands off to the side as Chanyeol sets down the cake with plates and apple cider, signalling Sehun to get up and help him get everything else out. Junmyeon stands too, walking over to Taeyeon in the hallway. 

"I'm pretty sure you could stay for the party if you'd like, Taeyeon-nim." Junmyeon tells her, giving her a grin. 

"Oh no, it's okay. Not much of a partier. But I'm glad these two got to adopt Taehyung. They deserve him, they're devoted parents and passionate people, I really admire that. Taehyung deserves a loving home with them." Taeyeon responds, her eyes glad, relieved almost that Taehyung is in a home that meets her standards. 

"You can say that again." Junmyeon agrees, watching as Baekhyun practically dances around with his new son. Minseok watches them with fond eyes and Junmyeon can't help but _want_ _it_. Want it for himself and Jongin, to settle down and adopt a baby of their own. He's always wanted to raise a family of his own, and witnessing his brother get it, only makes him want it more. 

Taeyeon pats Junmyeon on the shoulder. "I'll be taking my leave. If you don't mind, please give this to them for me." She hands him a business card and a yellow, cardstock file. "It's Taehyung's papers, not all, but some. The rest will come in the mail, these are the most important." 

Junmyeon takes it from her and nods. "Of course, I'll make sure they get this and store it properly." 

"And here, Junmyeon-ssi, was it?" Taeyeon hands him another business card. "This one’s for you." She must've recognized the glint in his eyes. Junmyeon is shocked but takes the card nonetheless, not letting his shock hinder him in his curiosity. He scans the card with his eyes and lets the information sink in. 

"Thank you." He whispers and Taeyeon only smiles before letting herself out. 

Junmyeon walks out of the hallway and back into the living room where Chanyeol is cutting slices of cake, Jongdae is holding Taehyung, Sehun is entertaining the baby, and Minseok and Baekhyun are holding each other.

It's a beautiful moment, and Junmyeon could only wish for more in the future, hopefully including Jongin.

.

.

.

Junmyeon sits down across from Jongin in his nice attire, a fitted blazer paired with a black long sleeve shirt and dress pants to match with his fancy dress shoes. 

Jongin had decided that they would go on a date Friday night and only told Junmyeon what to wear and nothing else. Junmyeon's glad he took the words to heart, however, he still feels a bit underdressed at the restaurant they're currently eating at. 

"Wow, Jongin, I'm impressed. How did you find this place?" Junmyeon asks, a bit intimidated by the way the waitress unfolds their napkins and places it on their laps _ for them._

"I sat in on one of the adult classes I would be taking over, the teacher is moving to a new area, and I talked with one of the dancers. Her husband had brought her here and she recommended it to me." Jongin replies as he fiddles with the forks and spoons to his right. "Yerim had told me that a way to build trust is going on dates, you know, instead of just going through the daily routine with each other, so I looked it up and thought you would like it." He's avoiding eye contact. 

"What's wrong, babe?" Junmyeon reaches out his open hand and waits for Jongin to put his hand there.

Jongin sighs, but moves his eyes up, studying the hand and then gazing up into Junmyeon's eyes. He grabs Junmyeon's hand between his own, rubbing his thumbs over the back of his hand as he turns his focus to their joined hands. "I think...I think I want to talk to everyone. To apologize, let them know I'll never be a threat to them again."

Junmyeon smiles widely and squeezes his fingers. "That's great, Nini. Why...why do you look so down about it though?" 

Jongin takes a moment to ponder over Junmyeon's question. "I-I know that I'm the reason you look sad sometimes. Like, when you come back into the room from talking on the phone with your brother or Baekhyun. It's my fault that you can't see your family or friends, I wanna make that right.”

"Jongin, we talked about this, I'm not holding that against you." Junmyeon starts, but Jongin stops him before he can continue. 

"I am, Myeonnie. I'm holding it against me. I don't wanna be the reason they don't come to visit, I don't want to be the reason Sehun never talks to you again; I put you in this position, baby, and I just wanna make it right. You don't deserve that, Jun, you really don't." Jongin says, his eyes sad for Junmyeon. 

Junmyeon's shoulders deflate and he uses his other hand to pat Jongin's hands entangled with his. "Let's order first, Jongin, then we can get into that." 

Jongin hesitates to let go as Junmyeon pulls his hands away slowly, but he does and he nods. They pick up their menus and look for something to eat. 

Junmyeon is lucky he at least knows half of the things on here, he's not one to go out to places such as this one, but he has been invited a couple times with some clients of the magazine. They mostly brought him along to do some sweet talking as Junmyeon is a very sociable and comfortable person to be around. Junmyeon's done what he's been asked and they've rewarded him with a deliciously extravagant meal and even some connections in the industry. Junmyeon doesn't mind the fact that he's used, at least he's still getting something out of it. 

The waitress from earlier comes back with a small basket of warm assorted breads about several minutes later. "Are you ready to order, gentlemen?" 

"Yes, I'll take the smothered duck with the soupe du jour. Please pair that with a bottle of Pinot Noir. Jun?" Jongin looks over at his boyfriend and Junmyeon is staring at him with wide eyes. 

He ordered flawlessly and honestly, Junmyeon found it kind of hot. But that didn't really help his own situation as he is indecisive and struggles to pick between a couple of choices. His eyes were panicked and he looked at his menu in a rush. 

"Um, I-I will take the..." Junmyeon's wincing at the menu and sure that he's embarrassing himself at this point. 

Thankfully, Jongin takes over for him. "He'll have the filet mignon with the vegetable medley and the french onion soup." The waitress bows and leaves once the order is taken. 

Junmyeon sighs in relief. "Thank you, Jongin." 

"I'm sorry, I just assumed you were ready to order. I should've asked." Jongin replies. 

"No, no, I, uh...actually liked the fact that you ordered for me. It was nice, made me feel...special." Junmyeon chuckles softly and continues as his cheeks turn red, "I'm indecisive anyway, I probably would've been struggling regardless." 

Jongin's lips twitch upwards. "You like when I order for you, baby?" Junmyeon only flushes a darker red in response. He leans forward and talks loud enough for only Junmyeon to hear. "It's okay, baby, I don't mind doing it for you. My baby deserves to be treated like a king." 

Junmyeon rolls his shoulders back and shudders a breath. "N-not here, Nini, I-I can't." 

Jongin chuckles a bit. "Okay, baby, whatever you like." 

"So, to bring up the situation again, I think it's a good idea to invite them over, but I wanna let you know that it might not change things for Sehun. He's stubborn, and even if you apologize, I'm still dating you, and he probably won't like that. There's no guarantees." Junmyeon shakes his head as he grabs a square of bread from the basket and places it on the small circular plate. "So after this, after it goes down, I want you to let it go." 

Jongin sits back and thinks about it as the waitress comes back, placing two wine glasses on the table and filling them. She bows like last time, and leaves. "Fine, I'll let it go, but I'm going to make sure you two are back to being friends." 

Junmyeon shrugs. "It's really up to Sehun. We'll see, I guess." 

Jongin shakes his head. "No, I can do it. You will be friends again. I'm not going to let that stay ruined." 

"Like I said, Sehun's stubborn, but you can try, Nini, I won't stop you." Junmyeon says, tearing off a piece of bread and eating it. 

"Just for you, Jun." Jongin replies as he takes a sip of his wine. 

Junmyeon gets a sudden thought. "Did I ever tell you that Minseok and Baekhyun never visited me before we got together? It was probably for the sake of Jongdae, but you know, it would've been nice if they had come down more often. I mean, I really can't say anything, I never tried visiting them either. That's one of my regrets, not visiting them as much as I could. We don't even live that far away, about an hour or two. But neither side made the effort." 

"Well, I bet that if you told them that and you reassured them that you would keep up your side of the deal too, they'd happily visit you when they can." Jongin advises. 

Junmyeon hums. "Yeah, that would help." 

"What about Sehun? Did he ever visit you before?" Jongin questions. 

Junmyeon smiles. "No, we, uh, actually didn't know that we were so close. I didn't know he was dating Jongdae and knew Minseok or Baekhyun. It was kind of an accident that we met again, but I was happy we did."

Jongin nods. "Must've been nice while it lasted." 

Junmyeon picks up his own glass of wine and swirls it a bit. He takes a quick sip. "Mmm. It was." 

The waitress is back with their soups, placing them in front of the two along with small packages of crackers. Like she's done routinely, she bows and walks away. 

Silence consumes their mellow atmosphere as they dig into their soups, tasting and savoring carefully. Before they know it, their main dishes are served and they're enjoying their fancy dinner. 

At the first bite of steak, Junmyeon moans. "Yeah, I'm really glad you ordered for me." The burst of flavor on his tongue was addicting and Junmyeon took another bite quickly, trying his best to not look like a ravenous beast having a meal for the first time in months. "This is so good, Nini." 

Jongin smiles as he tastes his dish. "Good, baby, I'm glad you like it." 

It's quiet again but they don't mind as they finish eating. They can only hear the murmur of the other patrons in the restaurants, however, it's soothing to know that everyone respects the atmosphere enough to keep it as is. 

Once they're done and the plates have been taken away, Jongin asks, "Would you like any dessert, Myeonnie?" 

Junmyeon thinks hard, biting his lip as he decides whether or not to order something for dessert. "Would you split it with me?" 

"Sure, but I probably won't eat much. I'm full." Jongin replies. 

"Hmm...no, I don't need it." Junmyeon turns down the offer, knowing he'll probably gain weight at the mere sight of dessert. 

Jongin makes a face. "You sure, baby?" 

Junmyeon nods. "Yeah, I'm full anyway." 

"We could always take one home for later tonight?" Jongin offers instead. 

Junmyeon wants it, but denies himself. "No, it's okay." 

Jongin says differently as he calls over their waitress. "Get me a dessert menu, please." She nods, bows, and scurries away to get the item. 

Once Jongin receives the menu, he thanks her and flips through it. The waitress stays by his side. "I'll take the chocolate lava cake to go please. And the check." 

Junmyeon makes a confused face as the waitress follows the orders. "I thought you were full?" 

"I am, but I want some for later." Jongin replies with a simple shrug. Junmyeon can see through the little white lie but doesn't comment, only nods. 

The wait isn't too long and Jongin has long since paid the bill, so the moment the wrapped up dessert is placed in front of Jongin, Jongin leads Junmyeon out of the restaurant.

They make it home in thirty minutes and Jongin is the first to enter, slipping off his shoes and hanging his coat before helping Junmyeon with his blazer. 

Jongin heads to their living room and sits on the couch, putting the dessert on the coffee table. "Myeonnie, come join me on the couch." 

"Okay." Junmyeon calls back, taking off his wrist watch and sliding it on top of the coffee table as he sits down.

Jongin's arms are open and Junmyeon fits himself in them, shoving his head in the crook of his neck. "Baby," Jongin starts softly and kisses the top of his head as he pulls Junmyeon closer, "are you okay?" 

Junmyeon feels small in his arms and snuggles in closer, his brows furrowing at the question. "What? Of course I'm okay, we just went on a really nice date. Thank you for that by the way. I absolutely loved it." 

"No need to thank me, Jun, it felt nice to go on a date and just hang out together." Jongin murmurs. 

"Then why ask if I'm okay?" Junmyeon asks in return. 

"Because you lied back at the restaurant. Why did you stop yourself from getting dessert?" Jongin states, looking down at his boyfriend. 

"...You lied too, Jongin." Junmyeon brings up as he avoids Jongin's intense gaze. 

Jongin huffs. "Fine, I got the dessert for you because I could see how much you wanted it. See? We're on the couch, so there are no lies between us, we can't lie to each other on the couch, that's our rule, Jun, you know that. Now stop avoiding my question." 

Junmyeon takes his time when answering, working up the courage to voice what's on his mind. 

"Hey," Jongin starts again before Junmyeon's even tried opening his mouth. "It's alright, Jun, you're safe here. I won't ever judge you, you know that, baby. I love you, Junmyeon. You can trust me with anything, I'll always be here for you, always support you no matter what." 

Junmyeon lifts his head and gazes into Jongin's eyes. He pulls him into a gentle kiss and once they pull away, he whispers one of his biggest insecurities, "I'm afraid I'm going to gain weight."

Jongin opens his eyes after the tender kiss. "Baby, why are you afraid of that?" 

"There was a time in my life before you where I was kinda...not even chubby, I was pudgy. I hated myself during that time, I thought I was disgusting and that no one was ever going to love me. So during a summer, I put myself on a strict diet and exercised like my life depended on it. Ever since then, I've made sure to eat more veggies and protein than anything else on the plate." Junmyeon retold his story, looking away so he didn't have to see Jongin's face. "Every couple months or so I let myself have a whole chocolate bar or something, but I've basically made myself afraid of sweets."

Jongin chuckles softly and kisses the side of Junmyeon's head. "My baby, you're too cute." He kisses down to his cheek and then curves to his lips. "If you ever grow pudgy again, I will still love you. If you stay as you are, I will still love you. If you get even bigger than pudgy, _ I will still love you _." Jongin smiles widely at him, petting Junmyeon's bangs back so he can see his face better. 

Junmyeon has tears in his eyes and looks at Jongin. "Really?" His voice breaks and a tear slips out, but Jongin wipes it away. 

"Of course, my baby. My Myeonnie, baby, I would never leave you. You are the love of my life, and you wanna know how I know?" Jongin asks, and Junmyeon nods as he sniffles and feels another tear tumbling down his cheek. "Because I wouldn't have put down the gun if it wasn't." 

Junmyeon breaks down and let's Jongin coddle him, whispering softly into his ear to help him calm down. 

Though the statement is terrible (and he knows it is), Junmyeon can't help but think about the fact that Jongin loves _ him _, him as in Kim Junmyeon, the boy who always dreamed of true love and wished desperately for it, would've given up everything for it. Now he has it, he has true love, everything he's ever wanted all in one complicated person. 

Junmyeon may have risked all his relationships with everyone he knew, but he's finally got what he's wanted, what he's yearned for over the years. Jongin is here with him, _ with him _ out of all places he could be. It's incredible and Junmyeon can't believe he belongs to him. Jongin wants to be there, would be torn if he wasn't there, and it blows Junmyeon's mind every single time he thinks about this. Jongin is his and only his, unbelievably so. 

Junmyeon is pretty much at his worst. He's breaking down in his lover's arms, face crumpled as he sobs his ugly sounds out. He knows he looks as bad as he sounds, he's tried crying pretty, but it's only a movie thing, doesn't work in real life. However, Jongin is taking it in stride, wiping away his tears and pressing gentle kisses to his forehead. 

At one point, he leans his forehead on Junmyeon's and closes his eyes as the hand on the back of his nape pushes his head forward. "My baby, it's okay, I've got you. I've got you, baby, I'm right here, just let it out, Myeonnie. Let it all out." Junmyeon absolutely _ loses _ it.

Tears stream as fast as humanly possible and his hands clutch at Jongin's shirt. He's gasping for breath, snot starting to run alongside the tears and Junmyeon knows for a fact that this is the most vulnerable form he's ever allowed any one of his boyfriends to see. He's sobbing, wailing, basically dying in Jongin's arms because it's beautifully scary as hell for Jongin to see him like this. 

Junmyeon is so scared, so, so, so scared. He's overwhelmed by the amount of sheer love, warmth, and safety he receives from Jongin. Junmyeon still can't believe it. 

Jongin laughs at Junmyeon's over the top reaction. "Junmyeonnie Hyung, it's okay. I'm right here, my love. You're okay, baby, everything will be okay." 

Jongin endures this for a while, Junmyeon's not sure how long, but Jongin just holds him, comforting, warm, safe. Jongin is right there as he keeps repeating sweet words. 

Finally, he's calmed down enough to where he's just hiccupping constantly, sporadically catching breaths in between. "Thank you." The words are broken and a bit hard to piece together, but Jongin understands. 

"Of course, Myeonnie. Anything for you, baby." Jongin responds and uses his sleeve as an alternative tissue. "It's okay, Jun. You're okay." He tells him which makes Junmyeon feel even better and so happy, his heart just about explodes. "Hey, why don't we eat this dessert and we can cuddle and snuggle all you want, yeah? Would that be okay, Myeonnie?"

Junmyeon nods as his hiccupping slows and he's able to catch his breath, pouting at Jongin unconsciously. 

"Okay," Jongin smiles and reaches over to snatch the take out box. He opens it and pulls out the plastic take out spoon, scooping some of the lava cake on it. It's soft and the inside chocolate sauce spills out like water flowing along the current of a river. "Open up, baby."

Junmyeon feels small and he loves it. He blushes a tomato red and fights down the embarrassment at being babied because he still loves it. He's eating it up, physically and metaphorically. 

He takes the spoonful of sugary sweetness into his mouth, humming and letting the chocolate coat his tongue. Jongin smiles at the way Junmyeon is acting as he eats, taking a small scoop for himself. 

Junmyeon takes another mouthful and swallows it, loving the slight bitterness that offsets the sweetness of the chocolate. Jongin uses his thumb to wipe off a bite of chocolate smeared on his lip. He moves it to his own mouth but is stopped by Junmyeon, who grabs the hand and quickly takes Jongin's thumb into his mouth, sucking the chocolate off the digit. 

Jongin groans and Junmyeon giggles, pulling off of his thumb and smiling. Jongin scoops more of the delicacy into the spoon. "You want more, baby?" He asks as he holds the spoon level to Junmyeon's mouth. Junmyeon opens his mouth and waits. Once again, Junmyeon is spoon fed while Jongin takes smaller bites in between, finishing off the dessert after several more satisfying spoonfuls. 

"You're so cute, Junmyeonnie," Jongin sets down the empty dessert box on their coffee table and takes Junmyeon into his arms. "I love you, baby. No matter what." 

Junmyeon smiles. "I love you too, Nini." Jongin gives him a big kiss on the lips, it's more wet than he’s used to, but he laughs it off as Jongin continues kissing him. Slowly, the kisses start to linger and grow more sensual, his tongue and teeth coming out from where they're hiding behind his lips. 

His head is cocked to the left as Jongin works his mouth over his pale skin, marking him. Junmyeon loves it, the possessiveness that takes over Jongin in moments like these are what Junmyeon has always wanted in a boyfriend. And the good thing is, Junmyeon doesn't have to ask. 

Sure, in some ways, his previous boyfriends were possessive, but not the way Jongin is. Whether it's Jongin himself or his dominate Oppa, his possessiveness awakens something inside Junmyeon, the part of him that wishes to belong, wishes to be owned, dominated. He does it exactly how Junmyeon wants it, it's like he just knows. Junmyeon is more than willing to let him, but Jongin just _ takes _ the control, doesn't ask, grasps it like he _ already _ owns it, even when they're not having sex. It's one of the most attractive things Junmyeon's ever seen in a person. 

Jongin travels up his neck and eventually finds his lips, stealing his breath with a suffocating kiss, selfish hands pushing him back so he's on his back and Jongin's above him. One hand is positioned on the nape of his neck, while the other is gripping his waist and Junmyeon feels like he's gonna die of satisfying happiness and pleasure. 

It's then that Jongin decides to grind on him and Junmyeon is more than happy with it. He moans appreciatively, his own hands moving to Jongin's hair and tugging as he does his best to keep up with Jongin's hungry mouth. 

Jongin removes his mouth from Junymeon's, bringing one of his hands up. "Be a good boy, and suck on Oppa's fingers." 

Obediently, Junmyeon opens his mouth and takes in three fingers, laving his tongue over them and sucking just like he would if it were Jongin's dick. His eyes close as he hums and moans around the digits, bucking his hips as Jongin's other hand unbuttons and skillfully removes Junmyeon's pants along with his underwear. 

"Alright, baby," Jongin says, pulling his fingers from Junmyeon's greedy mouth that tries to trap them inside, "I'm gonna put all three fingers in at once. What's your word?" 

"B-benz." Junmyeon replies, having to try his hardest to pull the word from his mind. 

"Good boy. You're okay with this right?" Jongin asks, making sure since this is something they've never done before.

Junmyeon nods. "Yes, please, Oppa." 

Jongin takes that as his cue and circles the puckered, flaring hole. It's trying to suck him in and the moment he slowly starts pushing all three digits in, the hole greedily clutches and pulls him in deeper. 

It burns a bit, but it's mostly pleasurable, Junmyeon mewling as he takes the fingers as deep as Jongin can reach. 

"Jongin, please..." he pants, his hand clutching at Jongin's hair. 

"That's Oppa to you, baby." Jongin whispers as he crooks his fingers and brushes his prostate. 

Junmyeon cries out, but his eyebrows pinch together defiantly. "No! Mhm...no, I-I just want you. N-no Oppa tonight, just Jongin, just my Nini. I-I want to, to make love, not-not fuck." 

Jongin is shocked. It doesn't last long though, instead he chooses to cup Junmyeon's cheek and look into his red-lined puffy eyes. "You want me, baby? Then you have just me." He smiles, kissing Junmyeon's swollen, spit-slick lips. 

Jongin starts moving his fingers again, but the movements aren't as brash, they're tender, gentle, _ loving _. Junmyeon pants as he feels his walls tighten around Jongin's digits. "Nini, oh, it feels so, so good." 

"You're so beautiful, Myeonnie." Jongin whispers as he trails his lips along his jaw and nibbles at his neck. 

He takes his sweet time teasing him and stretching him out. The saliva on his fingers dries out and Junmyeon let's him know. Luckily for Jongin, there's a puddle of precum that's settled in the dips of Junmyeon’s faint ab lines. He drags his fingers through the slick fluid and shoves his fingers into Junmyeon. 

Junmyeon moans as Jongin feeds his fingers inside of him, his cock growing even harder as he thinks of the lewdness of his own pre-cum coating his inside. Though he does wish it was Jongin's cum, he keeps in mind that it will happen soon, all he has to do is be patient. 

He teases him for longer than necessary, but plays it off as taking his time and properly stretching him in preparation for his cock. 

"I'll just be a second." Jongin whispers before he pulls out his fingers and gets off of Junmyeon, heading to their shared room to grab the lube. 

Junmyeon whines a bit, but waits patiently. He readjusts himself and splits his legs open, feeling his hole flutter in search of Jongin. His hard dick aches as the pressure builds and the head throbs at the cool air touching it. His fingers itch to touch himself, but he stops himself with the knowledge that Jongin will be back and will do it for him. 

Jongin comes back and starts peeling off clothing, letting it fall into a pile on the floor beside the couch. He settles his weight on top of Junymeon, makes it so that he's putting just the right amount of it on him. He knows it comforts his older boyfriend. 

"Do you want me to take your shirt off, Myeonnie, baby?" Jongin tugs on the material that's probably clinging uncomfortably to his skin. At Junmyeon's nod, he helps him out of the clothing and smiles when two perky nipples stare back at him. "Better, baby?" 

"Ye-" Junmyeon cuts himself off with a keen as Jongin rolls a bud between his index finger and thumb. 

"Good." Jongin smirks. He replaces his fingers with his mouth and uses his hands to coat his length in cool lube, biting down and grazing over the sensitive nipple as he flinches at the coldness. 

Before entering Junmyeon, he swirls his tongue around the bud and bites in a teasing way and after so long, he switches so the other one can get fair treatment. Junmyeon is following his ministrations with a chorus of moans and Jongin feels himself get harder at the sexy noises coming from him. By the time he pulls off, Junmyeon's nipples are puffy and red and shiny with his spit and Jongin's eyes glint with mirth and pride. 

Jongin lines himself up with Junmyeon's hole and pushes in as slowly as he had with his fingers, even though he stretched Junmyeon enough to simply move at a normal pace. 

"Jongin, hurry..." Junmyeon whines. 

"You wanted to make love, baby, I'm giving you what you want." Jongin replies, moving to lie on top of Junmyeon and placing his face in the crook of his neck. 

"Well, make love to me faster, please." Junmyeon demands and Jongin indulges him as Junmyeon wraps his legs around his waist, causing Jongin's dick to sink in deeper. 

Jongin turns Junmyeon's head and connects their lips, thrusting at a moderate pace inside Junmyeon. The pleasure crawls up and down his spine, through his limbs, making him growl into Junmyeon's mouth as the heat between them grows intense. 

Junmyeon bucks back with all he's got and tries his best to keep up with Jongin's lips. It's hard, however, his mind jumbled by the merciless thrusts. He arches into Jongin, curves his body so they fit completely. 

Junmyeon feels so connected to Jongin in the moment that it strengthens their bond, their minds, their hearts, their _ love _. He tugs at his hair and feels his breath spread over his skin, his breathing equally rough and panting. 

"Oh, Junmyeon, you're so perfect." Jongin whispers to him, tongues from the shell of his ear to his neck. "So beautiful, so lovely. All mine." Junmyeon whines at the praise, at the compliments as his chest is filled with a fuzzy feeling. 

"I-I love you, Nini. I love you so much." Junmyeon cries out and pushes himself into Jongin's body more once he brushes against his prostate. "My-my Ninibear." 

Jongin manages a chuckle and punches the air out of Junmyeon's lungs with a particularly hard thrust. "Oh I love you too, Myeonnie. So, so much, baby, so much. I love when you're possessive of me." 

Junmyeon's possessiveness wasn't as prominent as Jongin's in certain situations, but when Junmyeon sees fit, he'll cling to Jongin with pursed lips and furrowed brows, glaring at whoever tries to get to his boyfriend. He won't say anything unless it's totally necessary, but Jongin loves it because then Junmyeon is clingy for the rest of the day, even when Jongin wants to do something as simple as getting a glass of water. 

"Y-you're mine, just as much as I'm yours, Jongin." Junmyeon replies, lapping his tongue over a spot on Jongin's neck. He nibbles at it until it's a stark pasty red against his tan skin. He sucks and bites another hickey right next to it. 

"You're so cute, Myeonnie." Jongin emphasizes each word with a thrust and Junmyeon moans with each drag over his clenching walls. 

"Just-just for you, Ninibear." Junmyeon teases, using his free hand to turn Jongin's head and kiss him more. Jongin can't keep his tongue to himself, pushing it into Junmyeon's mouth and allowing it to roam the crevasses of his mouth. It's a filthy kiss and Junmyeon mewls at the erotic and sinful movement of his boyfriend. 

"Oh, my baby," Jongin breaths into his mouth at one point, hitting his prostate and grinding inside of him so that it bumps the bundle of nerves continuously. 

Junmyeon makes a face of utter bliss, arching his back as Jongin thrusts harder than before. "Oh my god, Jongin!" Junmyeon's taken out by the surprise of his orgasm, convulsing and squirming as he cums on himself and gets some of it smeared on Jongin's chest. 

"Hold on, baby," Jongin mutters to him as he moves his hips at a slightly faster pace, biting down on Junmyeon's shoulder to leave a hickey. He came after a short while, filling Junmyeon's hole and marking his hot, clenching insides with his intensely warm ejaculate.

Junmyeon plays with his boyfriend's hair as Jongin rides out his orgasm then collapses on top of him. He watches the faces he makes as the pleasure fills him to the brim and decides they are some of the most gorgeous faces he's ever made because of Junmyeon, right next to his smiley face saved in Junmyeon's memory. 

Jongin takes a couple moments to himself as he catches his breath before propping himself up and reaching for the tissues Junmyeon keeps on the coffee table. He grabs a couple and wipes them both clean, shifting them into a comfortable position on the couch. 

Jongin's arm is wrapped around Junmyeon's waist, holding him securely against his chest. "I love you, Junmyeon." He murmurs into the nape of his neck before leaving a kiss there. 

Junmyeon shivers. "I love you too, Jongin." 

It's silent for a bit, Junmyeon thinking up a storm as a random thought had popped into his mind while Jongin closed his eyes and relaxed. 

"What are you thinking about, Myeonnie?" Jongin asks, snuggling further into his warm skin. 

"How do you know I'm thinking?" Junmyeon questions quietly in response. 

Jongin squeezes Junmyeon with the arm around him. "You'd be much more relaxed and probably asleep by now, baby. Now tell me, what's on your mind?"

"Well, you know how Minseok and Baekhyun adopted a baby?" Jongin hums into his shoulder and presses a kiss there. "How do you feel about children?" 

"Why?" Jongin can hear the skepticism in his own voice. 

Junmyeon bites his lip, but answers reluctantly anyway. "Because I've always wanted to have children and I need to know if you want them too." 

Jongin chuckles lightheartedly. "Of course, baby. I would like to have kids someday, especially if it's with you, Junmyeon." 

Junmyeon looks over his shoulder as best he can with a smile. "Really?" 

"Yes, Jun, I would be willing to have children with you." Jongin smiles in response. 

Junmyeon turns over completely and wraps his arms around Jongin's midsection. "Thank you, Nini." 

Jongin pets his hair back as they both close their eyes and take in each other's warmth. "Of course, baby." 

And they fall asleep there, holding each other with tangled legs and syncopated heart beats. 

.

.

.

"Babe, hey, Nini, look at me, look at me." Junmyeon cups his boyfriend's cheeks, looking at Jongin's worried face as he avoids eye contact. "It's okay, Nini, you're gonna be okay." 

"Myeonnie, I don't know if I can face them all." Jongin says, placing his hand over Junmyeon's.

Junmyeon shakes his head. "Yes, you can. You've done it before, you faced Chanyeol and apologized to him like I knew you could. Like the good man I know you are. Because you are good, you just went down the wrong path, you were clouded by your teachings." 

Jongin closes his eyes. "No, he-Chanyeol is one person, a singular person who is one of the nicest, most honest, forgiving and loving people I've ever met, right there next to you. He's different from everyone else. They won't be as forgiving, they won't be as nice. I-" Jongin inhales sharply, "I'm afraid, Junmyeon." A small tear slips out and trails down Jongin's face, mocking Junmyeon for allowing it to roll down his boyfriend's face. 

"Jongin, Jongin, love of my life, that's okay, it's okay to be afraid." Junmyeon swipes the tear away as if it had offended him. "It's okay to feel like this. Facing mistakes is hard, doesn't even matter how big or small. And we don't know how any of them will react, that's scary too. But you have to face it eventually or else you'll never be able to move past it." 

Jongin starts panting and Junmyeon knows it's a panic attack coming on, the way he inhales and exhales sharply and attempts to take in air like he can't get enough. "Junmyeon, I-I," the fear contorts his expression as he tries to speak, the amount of air he's getting not sufficient enough to let him talk. 

"Hey, hey." Junmyeon forces Jongin to tilt his head down and touches their foreheads together, holding him still. "Breath with me, babe, come on, Jongin. In, count to five; pause for two; out, count to five." Junmyeon instructs him. "Feel the air traveling though your system, filling your lungs, moving your body." 

Jongin's eyes were closed as he listened to Junmyeon work him through this. He breathes deeply until the knot of anxiety in his chest unravels a bit, making him feel lighter than he felt a minute ago. 

"Are you okay, Jongin? Tell me." Junmyeon says firmly, wanting to be reassured he was okay with a verbal answer.

"I'm-I'm okay." Jongin huffs out once he's calmed himself down with the breathing techniques. 

Junmyeon breathes out a sigh of relief. "Good. They aren't here yet, so calm down a little bit in here, I'll come get you when they're here. In the meantime, do you want something to eat, Nini? Or something to drink?" 

"Um, uh, just a glass of water, please, Myeonnie." Jongin replies and Junmyeon nods. 

He's out less than a minute before he's walking through the door again with a glass of water this time. Junmyeon urges Jongin to sit and he does, taking the glass of water Junmyeon hands him. He sips on it and takes calming breaths as best he can after thanking his boyfriend. 

Junmyeon nods in reply. "No problem. I have a few more things to set out for the guests, so I'll be in the other room for now. When they get here, expect me to come get you. And remember, don't work yourself up about what you can't control." Junmyeon leans down and leaves a loving peck on Jongin's lips, Jongin agreeing with everything he's saying. 

Junmyeon heads out and sets out some snacks and water bottles on the kitchen counter - that he sanitized thoroughly, he's not gross - for when they ask. Baekhyun and Sehun are big refreshment types of guys, so Junmyeon prepared it for them. 

He's busy fluffing the pillows when he hears a knock on the door. "Nini, they're here!" He calls to Jongin before walking over and opening the door. "Hey, hyung, Baek!" He greets his brother and Baekhyun.

Baekhyun smiles his wide, boxy smile. "Hey, Jun, how's it going?" He steps inside and embraces Junmyeon while Minseok steps in holding Taehyung. 

"Hey, Jun." Minseok greets back then looks at his baby. "Say hi to your uncle Junmyeon, Tae." He picks up the baby's arm and shakes it to make it appear as if Taehyung is waving at Junmyeon. 

Junmyeon coos at the baby as he releases Baekhyun. "Hello to you too, Taehyung. Awe, you're too cute." He kisses the baby's cheek and Taehyung giggles excitedly. "Oh, just wait until I get you for a day, I'm going to spoil you rotten." He promises the baby before turning back to his parents. "Jongin's in the other room, but he's nervous so I think I'll bring him out when everyone else gets here, if that's okay?" 

"Of course, we don't mind." Baekhyun responds for both of them, sitting on the couch and taking Taehyung from Minseok's arms. Minseok sits beside his husband and settles an arm around his shoulder. "Right, baby? We don't mind at all," He uses his baby voice as he lifts Taehyung and brings their faces close together. Taehyung giggles and smiles widely at his Papa in response. 

There's another knock on the door and Junmyeon heads over, opening the door and greeting Jongdae with Chanyeol and Sehun. Sehun is the first to enter and he does not look happy to see Junmyeon, heading inside and saying, "There better be snacks." He pushes past Junmyeon and Junmyeon stumbles a bit. His smile dims, but he keeps it plastered on his face as Chanyeol and Jongdae enter. 

Jongdae smiles his feline-like smile as an apology for Sehun's behavior. "I'm sorry, Sehun's just...not okay with this whole situation still. He's on edge, blocks everyone out when he feels vulnerable." 

"Yeah, I know, he's done it to me before. Although I've never had him stay mad at me for this long." Junmyeon shrugs. "Good thing I prepared snacks, I guess." He tries to chuckle off the hurt. 

Jongdae puts a hand on his shoulder. "He'll come around eventually, Junmyeon, don't worry." 

"Thanks." Junmyeon replies, smiling a smaller but more honest smile as he closes the door and leads him to the living room. 

"Can we just get this over with?" Sehun suddenly says the moment Junmyeon walks in with Jongdae. "I just wanna go home..." He murmurs the last part to himself mostly. Chanyeol pulls him closer in his lap and hugs him tight. Jongdae walks over and gives Sehun a lightly scolding glare because of his rudeness. 

"Yeah, we can." Junmyeon quickly grabs the snacks and sets them on the coffee table before heading towards his shared bedroom. "Jongin?" 

Jongin's at the open window, staring out with shining eyes, taking long, deep breaths. He doesn't hear Junmyeon nor does he move from his spot. 

"Nini?" Junmyeon touches his shoulder and Jongin startles, turning to look at Junmyeon. "There here, babe." 

Jongin takes a shaky breath. "Okay, it's now or never. Let's go out there." He holds Junmyeon's hand that was on his shoulder and presses a kiss to the back of it. 

They head towards the door, but Junmyeon stops Jongin before they can get to the door. "Wait." Junmyeon turns and pulls him down for a kiss, their lips touching in a soft peck. "I love you and no matter what happens out there, I will always love you. I believe in you and I will never stop believing in you." 

Jongin dips his head down to steal one more kiss, smiling softly at his boyfriend. "Love you too, Myeonnie, always have and always will."

They walk out hand in hand, capturing everyone's attention once they step in the room. They're all in different positions, Baekhyun now comfortably placed in Minseok's lap while leaning against the armrest of the couch, Sehun is bouncing Taehyung on his lap while leaning against Jongdae, who's holding Chanyeol half on his lap. 

The awkwardness bleeds in as Jongin and Junmyeon stand in front of everyone. Junmyeon speaks up first, "Jongin has some things he would like to share with you guys." He looks at his boyfriend and nods. 

"Uh, um, I-" Jongin takes a breath as the nerves bleed into his words, "I'm sorry. I know what I did to all of you was terrible, worse than terrible, traumatising, cruel, horrifying, but I'm not that person anymore." Sehun scoffs audibly and Jongin glances at him before moving his gaze downwards. "Yeah, I know, it's hard to believe. I can barely believe it myself. Especially with what I did to you, Sehun and Chanyeol, I brought you guys into it. I really hurt you two. And I'm really remorseful and sorry for those things. 

"Baekhyun, I'm sorry for getting your husband shot on your wedding day and sending someone to try and kill you on the same day. Minseok, I'm sorry for trying to kill you and your husband on the day of the wedding." Jongin apologizes sincerely and then turns to the last person he hasn't addressed. Jongdae's face is blank, waiting for him to speak; Jongin makes eye contact with him. "I'm sorry, Jongdae. I abused you, physically and verbally, and tried to take away all your loved ones. I should've left it alone. I should've let it go but I have a habit of holding things against people." 

Jongdae sits forward, he doesn't look angry, but the silent fumes are enough to tell that he’s resentful. Still, he keeps his voice calm and composed. "I just have one question. Why?" 

"Why-why what?" Jongin is confused about what he's asking why for.

"Why did you abuse me?" Jongdae asks, his eyebrows pinching together. 

Jongin launches into explanation. "Cause that's what my dad taught me to do. He hit my mother, told me it was the only way to keep her there. When I connect with people, I'm there for the long term and I'm selfish, want to keep them there no matter what. I was constantly insecure around you, thought you could leave at any moment with someone better. I didn't act on it until you tried to go out with Baekhyun and Minseok despite me asking you to stay. 

"My dad was a drunk, old bastard. He hit me, which made me feel powerless. But when I...when I hit you, I felt so in control, felt so happy to finally have something, some_ one _ to take my anger out on. My anger and my sadness." Jongin looks down at his clenched fist, feeling tears push at his eyes because he hates that he did this, not only to Jongdae, but at some point, to Junmyeon as well. He relaxes and unclenches his hand. "There's no excuse for what I did, despite what happened with my dad, I should've known that it was bad. I knew what it felt like, I saw my mother’s eyes when he beat her, I should have known." 

Junmyeon grabs the hand Jongin pulled out of his grip earlier and squeezes it, gives Jongin a smile when he looks at him. And with a slightly renewed confidence, Jongin continues. "You don't have to forgive me, I don't expect it, hell, I'm thankful you even came here to hear me out. I just want to let you know that I'll never bother you again, never come after you. Like I said it's hard to believe, but I've changed, or I'm trying to change. You can come over and visit Junmyeon and I'll step out or stay in a room, but I don't want to ruin any of Junmyeon's relationships. It's not his fault that he's too nice, please don't let me get in the way of your guys' relationship with him."

It's silent once Jongin finishes his apology before Jongdae breaks it. "Okay. I might forgive you, highly doubt it, but the possibility is there." He says it plain and simple as he reclines in his seat. "Don’t get me wrong, I still hate you with my entire being. More because you tried to kill my precious babies, than you trying to kill me. You must earn my forgiveness, Jongin. I’ll believe you when you say you will never come after me or my babies again because you have Junmyeon and hopefully you learned from last time. I have other threats to deal with and can’t be bothered to waste my time thinking about you, not that I want to. However, and keep this in the back of your mind, Jongin, I’ll always be cautious of you, meaning you have a target on your back whenever you make a wrong move." 

"I’m...thinking it over. Seeing as you ruined my wedding day in some way, it’s hard for me. Like Jongdae said, you can earn it with time." Baekhyun pipes up from his spot, shrugging. "Now that we have a baby, I don't have time to think of anything else, much less dwell on the past. I highly doubt it'll ever happen again and it better not. I don’t want to believe you’d be as ruthless as to hurt my child, but if you ever come near my family ever again, I won’t hesitate to kill you." Baekhyun sends one glare before relaxing back into Minseok's arms. 

Minseok sighs and shrugs. "I don't like you, but Baekhyun's right, we need to focus on the present with Taehyung. But there’s no ounce of forgiveness in my body for you. You’re going to earn my respect instead, that’s all I can offer. We can be less than acquaintances, I’ll always be wary of you, regardless of whether you apologized or not. I’m only doing this for Junmyeon because I know he can handle you. That’s the only thing helping this situation." 

Chanyeol speaks up and smiles. "You already know I forgive you, Jongin, and I'm even willing to give it another shot being friends." Jongin smiles back, relief starting to fill his chest. 

Everyone's attention shifts to Sehun, waiting for him to reply to Jongin. Sehun plays with Taehyung's little arms as the baby faces him, his eyes staying on him instead of looking anywhere else. 

"Sehun?" Junmyeon voices bravely. 

Jongdae pats his back reassuringly and whispers in his ear. "Go ahead, baby, give him your answer. It’s okay." 

Sehun feels like hiding, but looks down and voices his thoughts. "I-I can't forgive you yet, Jongin, and I don't know if I will ever be able to. But, I guess I can try, or whatever." Sehun's done talking, leans back into Jongdae for the safety blanket that is his arms.

"Sehun, all I want from you..." Jongin speaks up. "I just don't want you to be mad at Junmyeon anymore, it's my fault not his, punish me for it, not him. You're best friends, it's hurting Junmyeon to know that you're ignoring him. So please, just make up with him and you-you don't have to talk to me or even look at me. It's whatever makes you comfortable."

Junmyeon looks at Jongin and then at Sehun, he didn't think Jongin would say that at all. Sehun stares at Junmyeon before he gets up slowly, hands Minseok the baby, and walks to Junmyeon. Junmyeon's not sure what to expect, but he's genuinely shocked when Sehun embraces him and whispers, "I did miss you a lot. I'm sorry for being stubborn, Junmyeon."

Junmyeon gets over himself once he realizes he's just standing there and hugs him back with a big smile. "It's okay, Sehunnie. Everything's gonna be alright." 

And Junmyeon hopes he's right. 

.

.

.

"How much time do we have left?" Jongin asks as Junmyeon sits on his cock. 

"Baek and Minseok are gonna be a little late, Taehyung's been giving them a hard time lately," Junmyeon bites on Jongin's shoulder to quiet down a loud moan as he sinks down on Jongin's length then he moans after pulling away from his shoulder and gasps out the rest of his sentence, "Dae, Sehun, and Yeol are gonna be here in like, an hour? And the-the social worker doesn't get here with Jimin for another twenty or some minutes once they arrive."

"Joohyun said her and Seulgi are coming in about an hour as well. Seungwan and Sooyoung told me they're gonna come a bit before the social worker gets here. Then, uh," Junmyeon starts moving while Jongin's talking, using the little amount of brain power he has to simultaneously process what Jongin's telling him, "T-taemin's gonna be here around the same time as Yeol and Jongdae and Sehun. God, Myeonnie." He groans. 

Junmyeon kisses Jongin for a short while as he rides him like his life is on the line. "That's enough time, right? I-I- _ oh _, right there, Oppa - I think it's enough." He bounces and keens as Jongin's dick hits his prostate directly. 

Jongin smirks as he kisses at his neck. "We have more than enough time, baby, keep going." He sucks a hickey there, not caring that they'll be hosting company shortly. 

Junmyeon minds. "Oppa," he whines, "they'll see it, I'll have to figure out how to cover this." He moans as his legs start getting tired. "Oppa, my legs are getting tired, help me please." 

"Okay, baby." He thrusts up into him, Junmyeon circling his hips so he's grinding into his prostate. 

"Oh my god, Oppa, I-I," Junmyeon wails and cries as the head of Jongin's cock hits the bundle of nerves. "You-you're gonna make me come too fast." 

"That's the idea, babe." Jongin says as he thrusts up and milks Junmyeon's prostate. He grips Junmyeon's cock in his fist. 

Junmyeon whines. "The foreplay already had me on edge, Oppa." He pants, hiding his face in his neck. He mouths along his collar bones and starts bouncing again. 

Jongin lets his hand rest on Junmyeon's cock, not moving at all. "Baby, there was barely any foreplay, you were just horny." 

Junmyeon scoffs. "I was not, you kept teasing me!" He places his hands on Jongin's shoulders, pushing himself so he can bounce harder and faster. Jongin rails into him from below, Junmyeon's moans carrying throughout the apartment. "P-Please move your hand, Oppa."

"Keep talking like that and I might not even let you cum. Be good for Oppa, baby." Jongin warns, slapping his thigh in time with his hips ramming into Junmyeon's prostate. 

Junmyeon pouts. "I'm sorry, I really wanna cum, Oppa. Please." 

"Admit that you were horny." Jongin maneuvers his hand skillfully over Junmyeon's aching cock. "Because you came to me half hard before we started anything and you know it." 

"Fine, fine, I was horny. But it's not my fault, you were walking around without pants or a shirt, so you can't blame me." Junmyeon defends himself, feeling the coil of heat in his stomach tug and tighten. 

Jongin chuckles at his husband's cuteness. "Too cute, my baby. I guess you're right, I can't blame you." He kisses Junmyeon's lips and Junmyeon's brain scrambles, his breath stolen and his sounds only growing needier and enthusiastic. "That's it, baby."

Junmyeon gets frustrated as the burn in his thighs comes back and he slows down. "Oppa, help me." Jongin plunges inside of Junmyeon and Junmyeon cries out as his prostate is hit even more, Jongin moving faster than he is. 

"I got you, baby." Jongin flips them suddenly, taking complete control as he pins Junmyeon to the bed. "You're all mine, Myeonnie, all mine. You're only a dirty little slut for me, aren't you, Junmyeonnie?" 

Junmyeon whimpers loudly. "Oh, yes, you-your slut, Oppa, only yours." Jongin's cock aims and continually nails Junmyeon's prostate in rapid succession, making Junmyeon almost scream. 

"Take it, baby. If you're Oppa's slut, you can take it." Jongin growls, his hips smacking loudly into Junmyeon's own. 

He's sweaty and loud and tired, but he needs this, he needs to cum. "Nini Oppa, please! I-I need to-" 

Jongin licks the shell of his ear and shamelessly whispers, "Cum for me." Junmyeon has no option but to release at the words, his mouth open in a silent scream as his back arches high. 

Jongin keeps going until Junmyeon's oversensitivity forces him to stop and instead Junmyeon tells him to fuck his mouth, opening wide as Jongin climbs up on his chest and shoves his hard cock in his mouth. 

Junmyeon moans around the hot length and sucks ferociously before unhinging his jaw so Jongin can fuck his throat. He stays pliant as Jongin ruts deep inside of his mouth, gagging and choking, but doing his best to breathe through his nose. 

It's not long before Jongin pulls out and finishes on Junmyeon's face, painting his pretty cheeks with white. It sticks out against the cherry red of Junmyeon's cheeks and Jongin can't resist, he scoops cum onto two fingers and feeds it to Junmyeon, who gladly accepts the fingers and sucks on it like a starving man. 

Jongin smiles. "Such a good baby for me." He whispers and kisses Junmyeon. "Come on, Myeonnie, let's get ready and then clean up the house before they get here." 

When he gets a hum of agreement, Jongin leads Junmyeon to the bathroom. They take too long in the shower, Jongin practically begging for another round which Junmyeon couldn't deny, and they end up rushing around for the last ten minutes trying to clean up the big apartment. 

They relocated to a nicer place, one bigger so they could have room for children. It's big and spacious and a bit higher than they anticipated, but with their jobs and what they have saved, they're able to afford it and don't struggle with payment of any kind thankfully. It's also closer to their family and friends so they found the convenience comforting as they paid for it. 

Jongin takes charge of the kitchen, speed washing the dishes and wiping down all the counters with a special cleanser, while Junmyeon takes the bedroom so he can change their sheets before moving on to the living room. 

"Nini, bring out the snacks please." Junmyeon calls from his place in the living room, clearing off the coffee table of magazines and making sure the TV stand doesn't look like a disaster with CDs. 

"Half in here and half in there, right?" Jongin calls back, pulling out the trays of sandwiches and chips and waters and whatever else they put together the day before. 

Junmyeon stacks the CDs nicely as he shouts to his husband, "Yes, that's right. Just bring the other half in here and I'll arrange it." Jongin does exactly that, setting the trays of drinks and snacks on the coffee table before returning to the kitchen. "Thanks, babe." 

Jongin gives a loud hum in acknowledgement. He arranges them accordingly, starting with sandwiches and chips all the way to small finger foods and desserts along with drinks. 

It's been a couple years now, Junmyeon never thought him and Jongin would ever be setting up snack trays for an adoption party in their new apartment. He can't help but stare at the juice box in his hand fondly as he remembers the years that flew by after Jongin apologized to everyone and was finally able to move past his biggest mistakes and regrets. 

Jongin wasn't okay immediately after, but more time with Yerim, his stable, full-time job at the dance studio, and Junmyeon's support had helped him get to the place he wanted to be. 

Of course, like any couple, they still fight, but Jongin knows when to walk away and Junmyeon knows not to follow. They've also worked on having date night regularly as well as communicating honestly with Thursday night couch talks.

One of those Thursday night talks lead to them talking about marriage and Baekhyun, being the amazing brother-in-law he is, begged Jongdae to get them a minister so they can do it properly.

It was a small wedding, but Junmyeon will never forget the day. It's just as Baekhyun told him, it was one of the happiest days of Junmyeon's natural born life.

Along those lines, Jongin’s relationships with Baekhyun, Minseok, Sehun, Chanyeol, and Jongdae have grown and gotten better. Him and Jongdae are civil with each other; Baekhyun trusts him enough to be alone with Taehyung and has convinced Minseok that it’s okay since he’s still wary; Sehun has forgiven him and they’re not exactly friends, but reaching, stretching towards it if Sehun allows it to happen; on the other hand, Chanyeol visits and hangs out with the two often, especially on the days where Sehun goes to his new job (coincidentally it’s a dance studio in another part of town which has sparked new conversations for him and Jongin) and Jongdae is out taking care of ‘business’. 

Junmyeon’s so happy for him, Jongin is finally settling down and getting to learn what it’s like to live a normal life. He’s immersing himself in the community and devoting himself to Junmyeon as well as their dreams of raising a family together. 

Now they’re here, ready to make those dreams come true, ready to take on and adopt the kid they've been fostering for about a month or so with open arms and love to give. They're at a good point in life and Junmyeon hopes all they've learned will be enough to get them through the challenges and obstacles and changes life has in store. 

"Baby," Junmyeon breaks out of his trace at Jongin's call, "why are you staring at a juice box?" Jongin asks, his eyebrows pinch and a smile pulling at the corners of his mouth to show his amusement and slight concern. 

"Um," Junmyeon blushes and smiles sheepishly, "just reminds me of you cause you're so sweet?" 

Jongin chuckles and shakes his head. "You really gotta stop with the jokes, they're terrible." He walks closer and kisses the top of his head, walking back to the kitchen. 

As he's heading back, there's a knock on the door and Jongin stops to get it. He opens the door to find Jongdae, Chanyeol, and Sehun. "Hey, guys." Jongin greets and lets them in. 

Sehun heads for Junmyeon, who put the juice box down and stood up, while Chanyeol started a conversation with Jongin, Jongdae taking a seat on the couch and minding his own business. 

Jongin closes the door and starts walking away when there's yet another light knock on the door, Jongin turning back to grab the knob and open it once more. "Seulgi, Joohyun, glad you could make it!" He says and allows them room to step inside.

Sehun puts his arm around Junmyeon. "I like what you've done with the place, Jun Hyung."

"Thanks, Sehunnie. How are you?" Junmyeon waves Seulgi over when she spots him. 

"I'm pretty good, glad I get to see you." Sehun smiles at him, and looks to Seulgi when she makes it in front of them. "And who's this, Myeon?" 

"Sehunnie, this is Seulgi, my coworker and friend-" Junmyeon is interrupted by Seulgi. 

"Best friend, he means." She adds with an excited smile. 

Sehun raises an eyebrow. "Oh, you must be his second best friend, because he's actually _ my _ best friend."

"Oh lord." Junmyeon whispers under his breath and walks away before the two can get into it and waste unnecessary seconds of Junmyeon's life. 

There's another knock and this time it's Junmyeon who answers it, smiling at the people on the other side. "Uncle Junmyeon!" Taehyung, now three-almost four years old, runs to Junmyeon the moment the door is open. 

Junmyeon leans down and scoops him in his arms. "Oh my gosh, isn't it my favorite little monster." He kisses his cheek. "How are you, Taetae?" 

"I'm very good." Taehyung replies, resting on Junmyeon naturally. "Daddy sang me a song and I fell asleep, but now I'm awake, so everything is alright!"

"Oh, that's very good to hear, Tae." Junmyeon fixes his hair out of habit. "Are you ready to meet your new cousin?" 

"Cousin?! I get someone to play with?!" Taehyung almost _ vibrates _ with happiness, giddy and excited to have a new playmate. 

"Yes you do, so you better come by and visit often." Junmyeon receives a very enthusiastic nod. "Good, now go find your Uncle Jongin." He sends Taehyung off with a pat to the back and the toddler runs off to find his other uncle. 

Minseok and Baekhyun had already stepped inside, speaking with Junmyeon once his conversation with their son was over. "How's it going, Jun? You excited?" Baekhyun goes first, greeting him with a tired smile. 

"Definitely, I can barely contain myself just thinking about it." Junmyeon responds, leading them further into the apartment. "What about you guys? Is Taehyung still getting over his phase?"

"Unfortunately, no, batman is a very prevalent theme in our house and he's been acting out a bit, but it's nothing we can't handle." Baekhyun assures him, though the eye bags don't as much. 

Minseok looks just as tired as Baekhyun. "He's getting bold, I'll tell you. He keeps throwing fits when we don't give him what he wants because someone spoils him too much." 

Baekhyun rolls his eyes. "Hyung, I stopped doing that, we just have to teach him that he's not getting what he wants when he wants it."

"And by we, you mean me, which I have been. I punish Baekhyun if he gives into Taehyung's puppy eyes and pouts, working like a charm." Minseok smirks, which earns him a light smack on the arm. 

"He's coming around slowly, doesn't throw as many tantrums and they're definitely not as severe as they used to be, thank God." Baekhyun adds after. 

Minseok smiles at their son's efforts of finally learning he can't have whatever he wants. "He's a good kid and very clever, he'll figure it out soon enough." 

"I bet he'll be fine pretty soon." Junmyeon says and walks with them to the living room where people are mingling and enjoying the refreshments. 

Jongin lets in Seungwan and Sooyoung sometime later, their neighbors bringing them a bottle of expensive wine as a gift of congratulations. Junmyeon makes sure to hide that right away, he doesn't want Taehyung nor Jimin (when he gets here) to see it. Junmyeon likes to keep things kid friendly. 

Jongin catches Junmyeon by the waist and pulls him closer, hugging him tightly and pressing a kiss to his temple. Junmyeon wraps his arms around Jongin and buries his head into his strong shoulder. 

"Are you happy?" Jongin asks, his hand coming up to pet the back of his head. 

"Yes, very happy, Nini." Junmyeon responds quietly, lifting his head and giving his husband a light peck on the lips. 

Jongin smiles and pushes his hair back gently. "Me too, baby. Me too." There's another kiss shared before they're pulling away to open the door together. 

Taemin stands there with a wide smile as he's let in and it's then and there when Junmyeon sees Taeyeon with little Jimin by her side. Junmyeon smiles so widely his face hurts. 

Jimin's a shy kid, but there's no way he can hide his excitement and happiness at seeing his soon-to-be parents. He lets go of Taeyeon's hand and runs to Junmyeon, who's already bent at the knee with his arms wide open. Junmyeon hugs the life out of his little body, his hand on the back of Jimin's head to rub soothingly. 

"Hello, Jiminnie." Junmyeon whispers to him and then readjusts so the little boy is on his hip. 

"Hi, Mr. Kim." Jimin says, shy around Taeyeon, who's standing close by and watching the interaction play out. 

Jongin's also at Junmyeon's side and places his hand on Jimin's back. "Hi, Jimin." 

Jimin smiles at him before shying away once more at the thought of Taeyeon still watching. "H-Hi, Mr. Kim." 

Taeyeon gestures towards the inside. "Shall we get this over with then, gentlemen?" 

They lead her inside after putting Jimin down and explaining that he has to stay next to Taeyeon for only a little bit longer as they adopt him. 

It's over before they know it, having read through and signed all the necessary documents as well as providing the necessary information required. Minseok and Baekhyun are the godparents and Jongdae, Sehun, and Chanyeol (after some protest from Seulgi) are the back up just in case. 

Jimin is in their arms shortly after that, having climbed into Junmyeon's lap the moment he was allowed to do so. Junmyeon smiles widely and hugs the little boy tight to his chest. "Oh, my little baby." 

Jimin whines, most likely a habit he picked up from Junmyeon. "I'm not a baby, I'm four, Mr. Kim." 

"Hey, kid." Jongin calls him, kissing his cheek and pointing at Junmyeon once Jimin looks at him. "That's your new Mommy." 

Junmyeon blushes, but he doesn't mind if Jimin calls him that. Still, he sends a light glare to Jongin as the onlookers around them giggle. "Jongin." He says through gritted teeth. 

"Mommy." Jimin tries out and then breaks into that wide smile both Junmyeon and Jongin love so much. "I-I'm four, Mommy." He repeats. 

Jongin laughs. "That's my boy."

"Well, if I'm Mommy, that must make you Daddy." Junmyeon smiles mischievously and even winks at his husband, who only smirks. 

"I'll gladly be Daddy." Jongin leans in and kisses Junmyeon to which Jimin squeals and squirms. 

"Ew, ew, Mommy, Daddy, no!" Jimin shouts, already used to the names. 

Junmyeon smiles happily and pulls away from Jongin to their squirming son. "Fine, if we can't kiss each other, we'll just have to kiss you." Thus commencing the kiss attacks on Jimin's cheeks. He's squealing and squirming again. 

It stops when Junmyeon feels a tug on his pants, looking down at tiny Taehyung. "I want a turn." 

Junmyeon sets Jimin down next to Taehyung and kneels in front of both boys. "Jimin, this is your new cousin, Taehyung. Say hi." Jimin waves his hand shyly. 

"Do you know Batman?" Taehyung asks excitedly, showing Jimin his Batman action figure. Jimin only shakes his head, Taehyung's smile falls. "You don't know Batman? Uncle Junmyeon, you should give him back." He turns to his Uncle with a very serious expression.

Jimin bursts into tears at the mean statement and Junmyeon is shocked as he starts consoling his new son. 

Baekhyun collects Taehyung with his mouth open in surprise after hearing his son's heartless statement while he was standing near them and watching the interaction. "Taehyung! Why would you say something like that? That's not okay." He scolds his son. Taehyung starts crying at his Papa's words, half hurt and half trying to get out of a lecture from Baekhyun. Baekhyun grabs his hand and takes him to a hallway for a private talk with his son. 

Jongin comes up beside Junmyeon where he's now standing with Jimin on his hip and his head tucked in his shoulder as he cries. "Awe, buddy, he didn't mean that. He just...isn't very good at meeting new people is all." He pets his son's head gently. "It's okay, Jimin. We'd never give you back, ever." 

"Yeah, especially when we just made you ours, baby." Junmyeon adds, pressing a light kiss to his forehead. "You're our baby now, Jimin, we wouldn't trade you for the world."

Jimin's pouting and the tears are slowly stopping as he looks between Jongin and Junmyeon. "R-really?" 

"Yeah, babe," Jongin kisses his cheek and pets his hair back, "you're always gonna be our son. Now and forever and ever and ever." 

Jimin giggles and nods his head. "A-and that makes you my-my parents forever and ever!" 

"Exactly!" Jongin smiles widely and takes Jimin into his arms. "You're stuck with us, buddy." 

Jimin wraps his little arms around Jongin's neck and snuggles his face into his neck. "Okay." He agrees simply and that's that.

Junmyeon looks up when he sees movement out of the corner of his eyes and it's Taeyeon approaching them. "I'm going to head out now. Here's the most important documents for now. The rest will be mailed to you." She hands Junmyeon the file full of papers and then turns to Jimin. "Enjoy your new life, Jimin. I'll miss you." 

Jimin looks at her and smiles, uses his hand to wave at her. "Bye bye." 

Taeyeon smiles back and waves at him too. "Bye bye." She nods to Jongin and Junmyeon. "Thank you for the temporary hospitality, I'll show myself out." She leaves after that, leaving just as quietly as she came. 

Baekhyun comes back with Taehyung in his arms. "What do you have to say to Jimin, Tae?" 

"I-I'm sorry I said something mean to you." Taehyung hiccups, pouting as he rubs at his red eyes. 

"It-it's okay." Jimin whispers. 

Junmyeon walks up to Taehyung. "Since Jimin doesn't know about Batman, why don't you teach him everything you know?" 

Taehyung looks at Baekhyun with wide eyes. "C-can I, Papa?" 

"As long as you play nice, yes you can." Baekhyun answers. 

"I promise!" Taehyung smiles widely, already over the situation. 

"What do you say, Jimin? You want your cousin to teach you about Batman?" Junmyeon asks and Jimin hesitates but eventually nods his head. "Alright." Jongin sets their son down and Baekhyun does the same with Taehyung, sending the kids off to find a place to sit and talk. 

Junmyeon watches them run off together and feels his heart clench at the overabundance of love and happiness. He feels like he's about to cry, he could sob with the overwhelming tidal wave of feelings. 

Jongin wraps an arm around Jongin's waist. "Are you okay, baby?" 

Junmyeon feels wetness on his face but turns to Jongin and smiles. "I'm more than okay." 

It’s everything Junmyeon could ever want. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (PLEASE READ) Couple things I'd like to address:  
-I DO NOT CONDONE ABUSE OR VIOLENCE IN RELATIONSHIPS. Please be careful with who you trust and stay safe. This is a work of FICTION, please see it as one.   
-Jongin has money left over from when he had his own gang  
-I don't know shit about adoption processes, so as far as I know, I've made this up, sorry if that triggers you (hopefully it doesn't)  
-I'm also not a psychologist, but at least with this I did some research on Google, probably not totally accurate but it's just a story  
-Sorry if some parts don't seem realistic, I tried my best, but this is just a story, so from the way I made the characters, this is how I have imagined their interactions and how everything plays out  
-Sehun and Seulgi are still fighting about who's Junmyeon's best friend  
-I didn't mean to take as long as I did coming out with this, but What I Wouldn't Do took a lot out of me and I just recently got a new spark of heavy inspirations and I'll be making more works after this. (I also feel like crying now that it's done, it's over, it's really over smh :( but I'll be okay, I'm working on more stuff for future fics in different fandoms)
> 
> Thank you so much for reading! Hope you enjoyed the series if you read both, and if you didn't, that okay too. I hope all my efforts pleased you and if they did, please don't be afraid to leave kudos and comments! Have a good night/morning/evening/day, stay safe and healthy, and let's all do our best to support all of EXO!

**Author's Note:**

> whenever i find time to write this, I will try my best! I'll try to update it as soon as possible!
> 
> for now tell me what you think of the teaser if you'd like!


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